The ultimate in misinterpretations

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ho boy! So, to start this little story, click here. (XKCD link)

Caution, based on the story to follow, that link may or may not be safe for work. Just make sure nobody’s around, especially namby pamby butthurt must-have-been-previously-abused women.

So This comic, I think it’s funny. Not everyone does. That’s ok. Humor is subjective. Well apparently, there’s enough leeway there to interpret the scene as a lynching. Specifically, of ME lynching my assistant.

I printed out that comic, to show a friend who doesn’t have easy access to the internet. I don’t have a printer at home, so I printed it out at work. It was sitting on my desk, near my printer, a good 7 feet away from anywhere my assistant needs to go in her normal routine.

Around 355 pm, I responded to an email that my assistant sent me, a month-end profit report. We did awesome this month, and I replied with “Guess that means we did good, even in the slowest month ever! :slight_smile: Go team! Thanks for tracking all the little numbers, it does matter, and I’m glad you do it. I wish you were here for the last 10 years, so we could compare our performance to previous years.” Little numbers here refers to the relative size of our invoices compared to the equipment sales department.

I printed out the comic about 3 or 315 pm. My assistant leaves at 4pm. So apparently (according to what she told the owner/general manager), when I was out of my office, she saw the comic, snapped a pic with her phone, and went and showed it to all the other women in the office (not the men, just the women) and described her version of the scene wherein I’m lynching her and how this comic is an overt threat on her life. What. The. Crazy. I. Don’t. Even… She then went back to her desk, continued working, didn’t say anything at all to the person one desk over who is supposedly her friend, and at 4pm, leaves.

I heard nothing about it at all, until around 4:30pm, when the owner of the company comes to my office with the general manager on the phone, looks at the comic, laughs, and proceeds to tell me of how my assistant got so upset, she’s in a position to sue, threats of violence, etc. Then the general manager is asking me what I’m doing when he’s not around to make her feel like she’s threatened. He says that she was also offended at the email I sent - apparently I’m demeaning her, her position, and treating her as unimportant. :dubious:

She then says how she’s scared for her life, not coming in the next day, maybe will quit because I’m such a big bad scary man.

To which I effectively say, well if there’s a case to be had, let her bring it, I don’t see it.

I’ve done nothing but apologize and cater to this woman, continuously, for “talking while stressed”, or “having a heated conversation while she’s in earshot”, or “changing procedure so drastically” - the part where I tightened our controls to result in the profitable month she just reported on.

This B is cray-cray. MIRite?

2

She sounds like a full grown Princess Precious to me. How they live to adulthood I’ll never know. Hopefully the company bureaucrats will realize this.

3

On the whole, the story sounds rather like your assistant is utterly insane. But then you say stuff like:

And:

And all I can think is :dubious:

4

I’ll bet, if I know ‘her type’ well, she’s probably worked at a lot of places because most other won’t put with this crap for as long as you guys have. Either that, or she purposely worked there just long enough to make sure she would be able to work the unemployment system after she quit because of the hostile work environment.

So, do you have any kind of employee manual in place? If you do, I’d start writing her up for EVERYTHING. She’s not coming in on Monday? Write her up for that and make sure she understands that if she gets written up two more times, she’s fired. She’s 1 minute late a week later, write her up and make sure she understands that if she’s written up one more time she’s fired. Three weeks later she has some other minor infraction, write her up and fire her.

It sounds like she’s been a handful all year.

Either that, of if your business has any kind of lawyer, find out if you can fire her now because she’s threatened to sue the company. If she continues to work there, she may just continue to gather more evidence for her (probably not going to happen) lawsuit. It’d be really nice if she made the threat in an email. If she did that, I’d get rid of her even if it did mean she was going to get some unemployment.

5

Wait, who said she’s in a position to sue? She did or the manager did?

Also, did she just do a 180 or has she always been like this. You say that you’re constantly apologizing to her, is that because she’s constantly offended of is it because you had a heated discussion near her and then you just automatically apologized for it even though she didn’t appear to be bothered by it? I only ask because if she just did a 180 after a year, it sounds like an unemployment scam.

6

If she’s threatening to sue because of a hostile work environment, maybe–just maybe–calling her a crazy bitch online isn’t your best move. Edit: however accurate it may be, that is, because unless you tied that comic into a noose, she’s off-base.

7

This.

And choosing to print that comic out at work (and leaving it at the printer) was a poor judgment call, at best.

8

Nah, there was nothing wrong with the comic and if it wasn’t that it was going to be something else. The wallpaper on his cell phone, a t-shirt he was wearing, the email he sent that signed off with ‘thanks toots’ (just kidding), something he said to someone else on the phone that could somehow be turned around to sound like it might have been a slam on her. Something, anything, but it was going to happen eventually, and in these cases, it’s better to get rid of them sooner rather then later. This is something I know from experience.

9

Wow. At first I thought this would be about the word “vagina” in the comic. I would still consider it an over-reaction, but it would be logical at least.
Instead, you’re saying that this person thought the comic depicted a lynching? That’s not how lynching works, dumbass.

It sounds to me like this lady is someone who is used to being able to intimidate people with threats of legal action for harassment/discrimination even if they don’t make a whole lot of sense. Some people are so paranoid about being labeled a racist/sexist/whatever-ist that they will cave to any cry of discrimination rather than looking at the claim to see if it makes sense. I have noticed that sometimes, as a female myself, I can call other women on their shit in situations where men mostly would not because they fear that, as a man, they will seem sexist for saying anything. I think there are some people out there who use that kind of thing to their advantage.

10

This. In spades.

The rather raw and abrasive humor that appeals to the 20-30 crowd often disturbs me with its casual brutality. (Let’s start with the rise of “bitch” as a punchline.) I think those who find XKCD-style humor funny are unaware that its viewpoint is disturbing and antagonizing to those who aren’t inside the humor loop.

It’s another area where, just because “everyone you know” thinks it’s okay doesn’t mean anything like “everyone” does. Wise up. Don’t print this shit at work and if you have to because you’re too cheap to buy a $100 printer, don’t leave it laying around.

Yes, she’s a whiny, oversensitive princess-bitch; I’ve encountered, worked with (and fired) her type. You can content yourself with that when you’re escorted out of the building with your box of personal items for being so casually unthinking as to leave a cartoon laying around that *Hustler *would have rejected 20 years ago. Not everyone hangs out on the edge; you have to consider the vast middle when in public.

FWIW, I think the cartoon is funny as hell, as are most XKCD. Doesn’t mean they don’t make me flinch, having a few extra decades of RL experience.

11

How on Earth is that comic “raw and abrasive?”

12

Back in the mid-'90s, a friend’s g/f didn’t have access to email. She sent me a note by fax, with ‘PS: Hecky wants to lick you.’

Someone else got the fax, and took it to our manager. She was like, ‘How DARE you receive pornographic faxes at work? :eek: ’ I pointed out that Hecky is Hecubus, my friends’ dog, and that dogs like to lick people. But no, any licking must be sexual in nature. I said that it’s a good thing my friend didn’t murder someone, or else I’d be in real trouble.

Was it inappropriate to receive a personal message at work? Yeah, but it’s an accepted part of office culture (which is easier nowadays, with email). But why would anyone immediately jump to sexuality when they read the word ‘lick’? And does ‘Hecky’ seem like a person’s name? Does anyone really think that someone would send a sexual fax, especially to someone whose personality isn’t compatible with That Sort Of Thing?

Of course the manager was a bit of a bitch. She and our supervisor would sit in one or the other’s office and conspire over who to make a target, and their idea of motivation was ‘I know it’s more work, and I know there aren’t going to be raises; but it’s only going to get worse. You should all be happy you have jobs at all.’ :rolleyes:

13

Q.E.D.

14

I spent years supervising a workforce composed mostly of secretaries. Lots of them.

A few thoughts –

There are plenty of people who will always find power in the workplace in casting themselves as victims. In my experience, most of those people will be women. That may be because the vast majority of secretaries/assistants are women.

For those people, if there is any way a comment (or a cartoon) can possibly be interpreted as offensive, or threatening, it will be. A complaint that the “victim” doesn’t feel “safe” in the workplace will usually get a pretty quick response, thus empowering the complainer. She’s now dominated the company. She is happy.

The lynching thing is ridiculous. I will say that I’m surprised that your assistant didn’t complaint about the word “vagina” in the cartoon. Printing out this cartoon at work was stupid. Printing it out and leaving it around where others could see it was stupid and self-destructive.

Finally, the word “bitch” should never, ever be used in the workplace. Actually, let’s just stop using it everywhere. It’s kind of disgusting the way this word has come into everyday usage. Really. I’m amazed at how acceptable it’s become.

15

I don’t think these types are ever “happy,” and that’s part of the problem. They are miserable people who only find relief in making sure everyone knows they are miserable by making everyone else miserable.

They are also often system-gamers, who can barely do their job but have the equivalent of a Harvard J.D. in every little lever and string of the system that will benefit them, especially at someone else’s expense.

That’s almost certainly the cause of her upset - if the cartoon had not had a hot-button female/feminist word in the caption, this incident wouldn’t have happened. The word is going to raise hackles in almost any everyday usage; couple it with an ambiguous image that faintly implies violence, and there ya go. It’s overt hatred and violence towards women, and her. Of course.

Yep.

What, you’re some kind of old fart who is afraid of the language evolving? :dubious:

16

FWIW, I’m a woman, and I find the comic funny.

17

Also, she has threatened legal action against the company previously. There has never been an “office dedicated” bathroom in our building, it was always the shop bathroom downstairs, and then the “office-dedicated” bathroom across the parking lot in the other building 50 yards away.

I always thought that was a raw deal for her, having to walk across a parking lot in the weather. So I pushed the owner to have the office re-configured so as to allow enough room to install a small powder room. I took a lot of heat for it too, since he’s a very … how you say … cautious person when it comes to spending money. Lest you think I’m garnering sympathy, nope. I truly did push this issue, harder than anyone else ever had, and eventually got it done.

We got one estimate, it was exceptionally high, and the owner rejected it. She caught wind of this, and proceeded to threaten legal action if the bathroom wasn’t installed (because she’s been asking so patiently for 2 years, but somehow not until I was her boss did the “legal action” card get pulled).

The owner said “Whoah whoah, you’ve stepped too far. All I did was reject the first estimate. Who’s saying we’re not getting more?”

The bathroom’s since been installed, but somehow, my pushing for it, getting the estimates, and basically convincing the owner that it would be a good thing, all got ignored in favor of “If I hadn’t threatened to call the department of XYZ, that bathroom never would have been installed”.

I’ve got no fear of being terminated for my actions. There isn’t anything about that comic that could be interpreted as an overt threat to anyone, or anything, unless you’re trying to make it one.

She’s been complaining about me behind my back to my boss for months now, saying I’m too harsh, that she doesn’t appreciate my tone of voice, I’m belittling her, yadda yadda. (because calling something “little numbers” when referring to quantities less than 5% of the norm is somehow demeaning to her personally) The fact that I’m doing none of those things wouldn’t matter though. It’s he-said she-said. And she spoke first, so she wins. But this little stunt just may possibly swing things in my favor.

The crazy always shows itself eventually.

18

The type of person who finds something wrong with your tone, inflection, facial expression, body language, etc. no matter what you’re saying to them is in need of therapy. The world has become such a toxic place for them that the flick of your eyebrow means more than the lavish praise you’re giving.

19

How impressively circular of you.

20

If you read my post, you’ll see that I am saving time and space by not repeating it. That you are unable to see anything “raw and abrasive” about the cartoon (when a number of others here do) puts you squarely in the group I was defining.

That straight and/or enough words for you?