The ultimate nerd-fight: Drizzt Do'urden vs. Ser Gregor Clegane

Alright, let’s posit that Drizzt climbed out of the Underdark and found himself in Westeros, and mistook the Mountain that Rides for an ogre.
Starting conditions: Drizzt has his drow scimitars, which are sharp and well-made but have all but lost their magical aura from being in sunshine.
Gregor: Well, he hasn’t fought the Red Viper yet.

What would happen?

Well, Drizzt has no chance of getting through heavy plate with his scimitars, and even if he could do what Oberyn did, he’d just inflict a superficial wound, and probably get promply bisected.
On the other hand, Gregor needs to actually hit Drizzt. Assuming that Drizzt doesn’t just run away, the question becomes one of endurance: Can Gregor in heavy plate swing his sword enough times to make Drizzt wear himself out dodging?

I just can’t get over the crunch of Oberyn’s head. I gotta say Ser Gregor gets in a hit somewhere.

I’d be ecstatic if Gregor put that whiny dark elf out of my misery.



Considering the Red Viper handed the Mountian his ass with just a spear (and some psychology) and was only killed b/c he got careless when he thought he had won I’d say Drizzt would win. Just dance around and poke him until there was an opening.

Well I say that knowing nothing about Drizzt other then he was in my Baldurs Gate game.

Unless the Mountian is mounted up he could probably run Drizzt down.

Completely unfair. Drow weapons break extremely quickly once exposed to sunlight. Why can’t he have his surface scimitars? Their enchantments are better than the ones on his drow weapons anyway…

…oh shit. I am a nerd.

So long as Mary Sue drow-boy dies, I don’t care who kills him. Without the stupid Bracers of Ultimate Cheatery, he’s dogmeat anyway.


He has 2d6 days before they’re totally gone, given the 2nd Edition rules under which he was concieved. So, they’re still very fine, very sharp scimitars, but they aren’t +5 adamant deathswords. Bow to my superior nerdery.

This was why I posited the just-climbed out of the Underdark. No glowing swords, no illegally-used bracers, and also no innate drow magical abilities.

Okay, maybe I’m not a nerd. I was going by the Salvatore books, not AD&D.