The wizards of Middle-Earth definitely have the wizards of the Discworld beat, because the only reason that the wizards of DW can continue to exist is that they essentially make themselves useless. Though, well, it’s possible that the Librarian could take down Sauron single-handedly if he called him the M word.
I’d like to take Galadriel on that one, but I wouldn’t bet against Granny even if she was going up against Illuvatar himself.
Carrot versus Aragorn would be an interesting one, but couldn’t ever see it happening. They’re both so noble. Sickeningly so. Unless Angua ate Arwen. Woof.
Speaking of woof, I think Gaspode could convince Shadowfax to buck off Gandalf. Which’d be funny.
Hmm, I wonder whom Sam Vimes would be a good bet to whup up on. Probably Aragorn, now that I think about his, um, sentiment toward kings.
Disagree. The Discworld wizards have one major advantage – they’re backed by the most powerful force known to man and literature, the Comedic Plot Device. They will win any fight if that victory is needed to advance the storyline or set up a cheap joke.
The Librarian could take out Sauron if he had a will to, IMO.
As for Nobby Nobbs vs. Gollum, Nobbs easily, because he’d fight dirty.
Man, are you joking? Lobsang is the anthropomorphic personification of time itself; Frodo is just some little dude with big feet. He’d destroy that hobbit and make off with the One Ring, then pawn it down at the Disappearing/Reappearing Suspiciously Magical Store.
Ridcully would no way fight Gandalf- they’d get along too well. I imagine them kicking back for a smoke on top of the Tower of Art, singing “A Wiard’s Staff Has A Knob On the End”.
Vimes could probably take down Aragorn, but only because he’d use the patented Vimes Elbow.
Carrot would most likely re-organize the city of Minas Tirith into one huge tourist attraction, hiring Gimli as Special Advisor on how best to display the fine examples of stonemasonry present in the city. And Angua could just rip out Arwen’s throat if she got any flak. Of course, once trade was opened between Ankh-Morpork and the Kingdom of Gondor, you know Vetinari would have them eating out of his hand.
Now, Esme Weatherwax is a badass. Sure, Galadriel was born in Valinor before the sun first rose, but Granny has the mad skillz. And no way would she put up with Galadriel’s ceaseless rhetoric or self-important rambling. She just can’t be having with that kind of a thing. (Whenever I read “Lords & Ladies”, I always picture the Queen of the Elves as Galadriel.) Nanny Ogg would also defeat any elven army single-handedly simply by singing a few verses of the hedgehog song.
Nobby might also get along too well with Gollum to bother fighting him. Possibly they could go into business with Dibbler selling fish bones and commemorative “Precioussss” waterglobes.
Sauron? Don’t make me laugh. The Librarian has looong arms, and it’s hard to be an evil Dark Lord when someone keeps poking you in the Flaming Eye and shouting “Ook!”.
What I’d really like to see is Death turning up throughout “Lord of the Rings”:
Rincey and Radagast? Sitting on the steps (of where, I have no idea, but on the steps) sharing a cigarette and watching.
I think the Luggage might eat Sauron and/or the ring. “Well, that was quick…”
Granny just -wins-.
One fun thing – all the werewolves in Middle-Earth are eeeeevil, and servants of Sauron. Imagine the fun fun fun when Aragorn &co. find out about Angua.
Rincey and Radagast? Sitting on the steps (of where, I have no idea, but on the steps) sharing a cigarette and watching.
I think the Luggage might eat Sauron and/or the ring. “Well, that was quick…”
Granny just -wins-.
One fun thing – all the werewolves in Middle-Earth are eeeeevil, and servants of Sauron. Imagine the fun fun fun when Aragorn &co. find out about Angua.
Gandalf vs. Ridcully? Well, while Gandalf is an immortal being and an agent of the creator himself, with powers of command over the physical world, I don’t know how he’d deal with Ridcully’s “wow-wow” sauce.
Another vote for Gandalf and Ridcully just going to the nearest pub to have a pipe and a beer.
Sauron against Vetinari, I guess withhin a week Vetinari would have turned the political situation far enough that Minas Tirith starts importing good Mount Doom welded steel, with AM getting a nice percentage of the gross.
)