The Ultimate Sitcom - One Cliche at a Time!

And it takes place in … New York City.

Then there will be “A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE” in which one of the following happens:

  1. Someone dies

  2. Someone finds out he/she has a terrible disease

  3. Someone goes through puberty

  4. Someone has sex for the first time

  5. Someone has a pregancy scare

  6. Someone moves away

  7. all of the above (see Seventh Heaven for reference)

But, when the hardworking blue-collar husband gets a great job offer in Minnesota, and moves his family there, the wacky neighbor, unseen wife, despised in-laws, oft-identified gay guy and husband’s most colorful co-worker move to Minnesota, too!

…in an attempt to “get back to nature,” the cast goes camping. Hilarity ensues.

Halloween Episode:
Undependable Teenager takes younger sibling out Trick-or-Treating. Young Child is, of course, in a spectacular costume, despite the fact that the family is blue-collar and always barely making the monthly mortgage.
When the Undependable Teenager gets back with the younger sibling, and removes the child’s mask, it turns out he has a child of a different gender, and quite possibly a different race. (e.g., if the family is white and he went out with his sister, he’ll come back with a little Asian or Black boy :eek: …hilarity ensues!)
He and his friends will scramble to find the right child before his parents find out that he Screwed Up Once Again.

After a few seasons, the wacky neighbor is spun-off into his own series, necessitating the arrival of an even wackier neighbor.

Also known as The Mr. Roeper/Mr. Furley Rule.

Someone will suggest that the wife market her “fabulous” spaghetti sauce/cookies/pies/whatever and within a day or two the family will have transformed their kitchen into a mini-factory complete with a little conveyor belt.
Someone will screw up on an order from a local restaurant (“60 pies? I thought you said 16 pies!”) and in the rush to fill a huge order, there will be lots of spilled food, especially flour and eggs.
The messier, the better.

In one episode, the main character trips over something, hits his head and loses his memory. Much hilarity ensues when he tries to puzzle out his identity, mixing up crazy neighbor/wife/boss at will.

Ends on a uplifting heartwarming note when through the combined powers of the love of all the supporting cast members his memory gets the boost necessary to be restored.

(Note: Can be used as cliffhanger if needed)

A new character/departure of an old character/death of a minor recurring character (such as a distant relative or old school friend)family crisis will prompt a touching episode where characters gather together to share their memories of the good times, with accompanying clips from previous episodes.

No matter how grounded in reality a sitcom may otherwise be, any vacation taken in a foriegn land will inevitably become an adventure involving spies, organized crime or supposed supernatural phenomena.

For some reason the group is pretty inclusive and don’t seem to have any friends outside of that group.

They may occasionally claim to have one here or there and manage to produce them, but that’s generallythe last we see of them.

But wait! You forgot little Cutie’s problem with lying! It ends in disastrous, yet hilarious, consequences!

And stay tuned for the dance number!

Two of the family’s siblings will become involved in a competition, snubbing each other as they go into overdrive to assure their victory over the other, only to have an unrelated third party come out of nowhere to win, thereby teaching the siblings an important lesson in sportsmanship.

How have you people forgotten the Grandparent Acting Like A Teenager?

The main male and female character are trying to fix a broken vacuum cleaner together. The whacky neighbor comes over and overhears the conversation before entering. In the conversation, suggestive references are made to “sucking” and “hose”. The whacky neighbor barges in, appalled, only to be embarrassed when he discovers the truth.

Stay tuned next week when the main character meets his previously unkown identical twin!

The loving husband suddenly has a sexy new coworker at the (shoe store | office | studio | uranium mine | secret gov’t facility ) and must resist, proving to the audience that despite what he says or does, he really loves his wife after all.

Let’s not forget, somone will get on a game show (in a special episode guest starring Chuck Barris as Monty Hall as Allen Ludden as Alex Trebeck as Bud Collyer as John Charles Daly), and, of course, wacky hijinks will occur!

Damn! You beat me to it.

Don’t forget, no interracial casts. All the main characters are white. Unless the show is on the WB, in which case they all are black. If all white, you are allowed to have one minor character be non-white, but it has to be a female, either a sassy black receptionist, or a sassy Hispanic receptionist.

If it’s US-made, there’s a fucking big sofa in the middle of the set, facing the audience. People will normally enter screen right but occasionally … hold-on-to-your-seats … from the left.