The Unkindest (Subway) Cut

The BBQ Pit
1

I created this thread to avoid hijacking this one.

In that thread, I mentioned my “inexplicable rage” at customers who wanted their bread cut “the old way”, which means cutting out the centre from above, to make the bread like a little canoe. “The new way” is to cut the bread at a 45-degree angle, almost like your average hotdog bun.

The Subway sandwich, although a innocent-looking piece of custom-made fast food, is actually a miracle of engineering. If properly made, it can be delicious, compact, nutritious and not fall apart when you eat it, unlike a Big Mac.

People who complain about the toppings falling out of their sandwich, were being served by someone who doesn’t know how to make the sandwich properly. The meat should be on the top half, slightly hanging over the edge. The lettuce, tomatoes, and other toppings should be put on the outer edge of the lower half.

Now for common customer faults. If you ask for extra extra lettuce and all dressed, then yes you will have some toppings fall out. Suck it up. The bun is not like Mary Poppin’s carpetbag, designed to fit whatever ungodly thing you stuff into it.
Also, losing a little lettuce is not the end of the world. When I get a sandwich at Dunkin’ Donuts, I actually like it when some toppings fall out. It’s like having a side salad with your sandwich.

A special note about meatball subs: If you are stupid enough to get a meatball sandwich all dressed, then yes your toppings will fall out and you will deserve it because you are a dumbass. Meatball sandwiches are never ever photographed with lettuce on them for a very good reason - if you get a meatball sandwich, there will be no room on it for lettuce (also, that’s disgusting). Meatball sandwiches come with onions, green pepper and olive, all of which fit nicely on there. At Subway, we had a saying; If you don’t mess with the sandwich, the sandwich won’t mess with you.

In the end, though, I really can’t explain why it made me so angry to do the “canoe cut”. Most of the time, the customer suffered anyway - if you try to put hot steak on that thing, it makes the tiny top piece all soggy and falls out all over.

In conclusion a well-trained Subway employee can make you a sandwich that maximizes the space inside of the bun (I’m not kidding). If it’s just too messy, ask for a manager, or even better, a knife and fork. We have posh sets to go with our salads now.

Sorry this is less than scintillating, but it feels good to get it all out.

2

I actually wrote your HQ a nice letter “pitting” the old canoe cut. Stupidist thing I’ve ever seen, and impossible to eat while driving and on the go. I am so glad that Subway changed back to the normal sandwich cut.

It’s a SANDWICH for crying out loud, do you people munch up your bread at home so that all the food is in a little canyon at the top and there is a tiny strip of bread on top of that? NO, you have:

BREAD
fillinsfillins
BREAD

That little V cut out of the bottom bun, filled in with stuff and then the tiny leftover V put back on top was just idiotic.

3

While we’re at it. Why does Subway insisted on putting the meat and/or toppings on the bread before adding the condiments? Every time I go there, I have to ask for the mustard and mayo on the bread first. I can’t be the only one who prefers it like this. If you put the condiment between the toppings, everything slides around in there. And the condiments don’t get the chance to soak into the bread thereby ensuring even amounts of condiment with every bite as opposed to getting glops of mustard and mayo that runs down your chin.

And don’t be so stingy with the mustard. One anemic little dashed line of mustard, but a metric asston of mayo*? Blech! I can’t stand choking on a dry sub, but that’s just nasty.
*The mayo makes me a little hinky since it’s clearly been sitting out for an undetermined amount of time. Isn’t mayo supposed to be refrigerated?

Whew, I’m so glad I got this off my chest.
OTOH, this is no way directed at kung fu lola specifically, only at the ones screwing up my sammich. I’m certain she made perfect subs… :wink:

4

I never eat at these fast food places. But if I did I’ve heard some nasty things about subway that would keep me out of there. For example I hear the ingredients sit out for days on end.

5

I also want the mustard put on the bread first and I want it smeared on the bread evenly. I don’t want to eat a big glop of mustard!

The notion that mustard should be put on the sandwich last, as a gloppy line of mustard on top of the lettuce and tomatoes makes me absolutely crazy and is really the only thing I dislike about Subway.

I especially like the new spinach leaves. Since iceberg lettuce is a nutritional void, I always ask for my sandwiches made with spinach!!

6

Subway sucks.

7

Actually, as long as no sandwich gunk has somehow made it upstream into the squeeze bottle, it should be fine. Mayo mixed with other stuff at room temperature = bad. Pure mayo by itself at room temperature = OK.

8

Well goddamn! It’s all so simple!

But, you know, unlike say McDonald’s, Subway doesn’t have “Regular”. If I say, “just give me a regular one”, don’t stare back at me dumbfounded. Some of us just want the fucking sandwich without an act of Congress.

We have work to do. Put onions, green pepper and olive on there and STFU.

9

Thanks. I feel so much better now. :slight_smile:

10

Dude, you gotta have parmesan cheese on there.

11

Or my “heart-attack special”:

Meatball sub, extra MJ cheese, parmesan, and bacon.

It’ll take ten years off of your life, but it’s so worth it. I wasn’t looking forward to losing my teeth, anyway. :smiley:

12

I always preferred the “canoe” cut, and was disappointed when they changed. Yet it never occurred to me to ask the sandwich maker to cut the bread the old way.

13

What’s with people who can’t handle their fixin’s falling out? That’s why they wrap those sandwiches in a big-ass piece of paper, so stuff doesn’t fall on the floor. Pick up your pickle and slap that sucker back on - no big whoop!

My only complaint w/Subway - where’s the ketchup? It ain’t lunch unless ketchup is somehow involved.

14

What is this “Subway” of which you speak?

A Quiznos customer :wink:

15

I wouldn’t say they suck, but I don’t eat there (or at other fast food chains). I’ve got 1000 delis in a 2 block radius who will actually put meat and cheese on a hero, unlike a Subway meat and cheese hero. I don’t want someone counting out three slices of turkey and 2 slices of cheese for my 6" hero. I want someone going over to the slicer and putting a healthy amount of peppered turkey and an unhealthy amount of swiss on my sandwich!

16

I, and many other people would disagree. Sometimes it’s the only quick place to get a meal that won’t make your heart explode.

I like the 6" Subway club on Honey Wheat, no condiments, with lettuce, tomato, green pepper, and olives.

17

Wrong.

Subway blows.

18

Mmmm, Quizno’s Black Angus steak sub, with everything including extra Batch 81 hot pepper sauce…

19

I generally like Subway. However, I have too many conversations with the staff that go like this–

Me: I’d like a 6" Southwest steak and cheese sandwich on wheat, please.

S.A.: Would you like cheese with that?

Me: Yes, pepper jack.

S.A.: Would you like sauce?

Me: Yes, southwest.

If the menu says that this specialty sandwich comes with pepper jack cheese and southwest chipotle sauce, then why must…

Nevermind. I like the sandwich, so I’ll just stop complaining and face the fact that I will have the conversation every time I make the choice to order one.

20

<Bart>

I didn’t think is was physically possible for something to both blow and suck at the same time.

</Bart>