The "Unspoken Thank-You's" Thread

Was there ever a moment in your past when somebody did something kind or thoughtful for you, but you didn’t have a chance to thank them? Hauling around guilt all these years for feeling like you seemed ungrateful? Here’s your chance to express yourself.

About fifteen years ago, while working as a driver for an Art Store here in Southern California, I happened to be driving down the freeway in the company van when a small explosion occurred under the hood. The van immediately started shimmying badly, emitting smoke and sputtering as I pulled off the freeway to the nearest gas station. As I exited the vehicle, a woman, who had followed me off the road, approached me and said that she had been driving behind me and saw something cylindrical shoot out the bottom of the van.
My response? “I don’t care, it’s not my car.” And with that, I turned and walked away, heading for a phone.

To that young lady: I am so sorry for my rudeness…I realize that you didn’t have to take the time and energy it did to make note of what happened and tell me. For what it’s worth, I have felt so incredibly guilty about blowing you off all these years, I wish I could tell you to your face and tell you in person how thoughtful you were and how I hope I didn’t adversely affect your opinion of people. I would be thrilled to know that you happen to be reading this and can forgive me for my thoughtlessness.

Does anyone else want to take a chance that someone whom you slighted in the past might be a fellow doper and express your remorse to them?

I have nothing to say here except you should thank me for not letting your thread leave us without a single response.

…all the dopers who make me laugh, and all the mods for keeping out the people who piss me off.

Back when I was young and broke, I sat in my car at a gas station counting out change to see how much gas I could get. An elderly man in ragged clothing approached my car and asked how much I was short. I replied that I wasn’t short, I was just counting to see how much I could afford. Without a word, he shoved a ten-dollar bill into my hand, turned around and walked away. It was a senseless, random act of kindness, and it surprised me so that I just sat there, stunned. I never got to thank him.

And I’d also like to thank the nameless trucker who stopped when my tire went flat on the freeway. It was pouring rain, and he ordered me to get back into the car while he changed it for me. He refused my money, and waved off my thanks. Kings of the road, truckers.

And I would like to thank the countless people who anonymously sent money to my mother after her motorcycle accident. She had never met them, and was stunned to find wrinkled five and ten-dollar bills in envelopes arriving from people that signed themselves “fellow biker” from all over the country. How they found out she had even HAD an accident, we will never know. But their generosity paid for all of her medical bills and then some.

Sometimes, the kindness of strangers is mind-boggling, and very touching.

[hijack]

Hey Lissa… about your sig line, where’d you get that? I ask because my highschool’s motto is Per Aspera Ad Astra, your sig all switched around, which I always heard translated as “Reach For The Stars”. Not being at all versed in Latin, I have no clue as to which order is right.

sorry for the interruption.

[/hijack]

Response to hijack . . .

I don’t know if it’s technically correct or not. I got it from a book about Sophia Brahe, sister of Tycho Brahe, the early astronomer. The translation (loosley) they gave is “You can reach the stars, but only through adversity.”

I’m not well versed in Latin, myself, so please correct me, anyone, if I’ve been making an ass of myself with bad Latin.

I was travelling from St. Louis home to a little town in Southern Illinois on Christmas eve. It was the one really bad winter here, and the actual temperature was about fifteen below zero, with a pretty good wind dropping the chill factor to about -30 to -40. The lights on my car were getting dimmer and dimmer. I knew I had a problem, turns out it was a loose belt. I pulled off Route 3 in a little town called Ellis Grove and was able to get the belt tightened with some tools I had in the car. However, the battery was frozen and I couldn’t get my car started.

Someone stopped in that frigid weather and gave me a jump. I didn’t have anything to offer them, That was when I wasn’t making much, and I had spent whatever I had on christmas gifts for my family (that was about a month before my grandfather died; we knew it was probably his last christmas with us).

I’ll always be grateful for their kindness.

To the people who contributed to my best friend’s funeral expenses last April. Her family couldn’t have gotten through that without the help of so many strangers. The money received will never help the pain and saddness go away, but it’s nice to know that people care.

To my dad, who saved my ass from a life sentence. (Don’t ask.)

And those guys at the Mall of America who stay with me to make sure I’m okay after I pass out from the large crowds there.

To the people at McDonalds, the ones who never forget the “burger” in cheeseburger. And the ones that leave out the mustard when I ask them to.

To the people I know online, who constantly listen to me whine, complain, bitch, moan, and cry about life. You people keep me sane. (Almost)

I never got to thank the people who helped with my son. The truck full of construction workers who pulled the car off of him, the nurse who happened to be in the parking lot who made sure nobody touched him after he was out from under the car, the doctors and nurses who took care of him through the last year especially those in the first month. And those of you who listened, offered prayers, and if I remember correctly Veb who offered to come over and help with house work.
The head nurse at the kids doctors office who held me together when my son got so sick his diaper was full of blood from his lack of platelets.
The older gentle man who gave me a ride to my mom’s house after my car ran out of gas. I was pregnant and had two toddlers.
And to all of you folks who put up with me and my problems. You make me laugh, you sometimes make me cry, but I know that you are always there for me.

My grandma died at the end of this past November. She had been in the hospital for bronchitis and was just about ready to come home when she fell asleep one day. She never woke up. The day she fell into her final sleep, we all went up to the hospital. My parents and uncle stayed there the whole night. My sister, my husband, and I left at midnight, but were back at 6:30am to stay with her until the end.
Grandma was in a room with another lady. That woman’s granddaughter was visiting her the night we were all there. They never asked a nurse to ask us to keep quiet or to keep the number of visitors to a minimum. The visiting granddaughter and one of the nurses got extra chairs for us so that we could all sit down. When the granddaughter left that night, she offered her best wishes and told us all to be careful heading home so late.
When my grandmother died the next morning, my sister broke down. The patient in the next bed walked over to comfort her.

I’m sure that we probably thanked the hospital staff for all that they did for us. And I think I mentioned something to the other patient about how sweet she was to be so kind to my sister. But I don’t think that woman and her granddaughter know how much it meant to us that they were so kind and caring to our family. They probably don’t even think it was that big a deal, but at the time, I thought it was incredibly compassionate of them to help us when we all felt so helpless with grief.

Mine’s not as heavy as the last few were.

About 12 years ago, I was working as a courier driving my spiffy Datsun 260-Z which I had owned for about six months. One day the thing just quit on me, and I managed to coast off the busy street onto a side street.

Being young and quite inexperienced with cars at the time, I just sat there turning the key, trying to start it for several minutes. I knew I had gas, oil, full of coolant, good battery, no broken belts.

I begin to freak out 'cuz I’m on the job and starting to run behind on my deliverys. Out of nowhere, some guy pull’s up and asks: “What’s wrong with your car?”

Me: “Don’t know. It quit and won’t start.”

“I used to drive one like that. Open the hood.”

He fiddles with the carburators for a sec (yes, it had two), and tells me they don’t have any oil.

“What? You have to put oil in those things?” I ask, incredulous.

“Yeah. 20 weight oil. ATF works too. How long you had this car?”

So he digs around in his truck and grabs some ATF, fills the carbs and it starts right away. And it ran like a champ!

So I get out to thank him and he was already driving away. All I could do was stand there and give him a half-assed wave. He waved back.

Thanks, man.

In my year of Latin (i.e. I’m not an expert) we have yet to come to anything that has a defined order. Its not like English where order determines meaning. Some words can’t start sentences, and some words have to be followed by a specific case, and it can be more “stylish” to put certain words certain places, but overall word order is a loose thing.

/hijack

The guy at the gas station who made my car better so I could be on time to a party. I had left my purse at home so I had nothing with me. I called my parents from a pay phone (calling card number memorized) and they basically told me “Tough luck kiddo, such is life. You might have to miss a party.” (They didn’t want me going.)

I told him thanks at the time and asked for his name so I could pay him back. (He gave me a bunch of stuff and taught me how to use it.) He refused to tell me. It was really nice of him.

As an undergrad with an interest in science and medicine, I secured a research position. Not knowing the ways of the world, though, I just took the first position I could find. The lab I worked in specialized in scientific arcana. I was unaware that things were so backwards, though, not having had any other experiences for comparison.

Walking through the hall one day, my genetics professor stopped me and struck up a conversation. I had never spoken to him before; the genetics class was one of those 200 student affairs, and I didn’t even know that he knew I existed. He asked me about my aspirations and about my current activities. He recommended that I speak to another researcher at my institution, suggesting that I would be better off working there. He even wrote a recommendation that got my foot in the door. I took the new position and found myself working in a lab at the cutting edge of biochemistry.

When it came time for Med/Grad interviews, many of my interviewers mentioned how impressive it was that I had worked in this cutting edge lab. The result: an MD/PhD position at a choice school.

Thank you with all my heart Dr. Peter Gergen

Short and sweet:

I came out of Kroger’s one snowy day several winters ago, with a heavily laden shopping cart, and stupidly allowed it to slide down into a manhole cover in the parking lot, you know, where the water runs down? The parking lot, although plowed, was still quite snowy, and the cart was hopelessly stuck, top-heavy and tilting over dangerously. Some nameless 50-something bundled-up female came up behind me, grabbed aholt of it by the front end, and by sheer willpower hoicked it up outta there and started towing it through the snow, saying only, over her shoulder, “Where?” I trotted along behind her, making futile gestures of “helping”, while she dragged that sucker like it was a tractor pull, slewing from side to side, right up to my car. And she left.

Thank you.

I was at a very busy grocery store a couple of weeks ago, and as the checker was ringing me up, she asked if I had my discount card. I looked in my wallet where it usually is, but it wasn’t there. I realized that I had given it to my husband a few days before, when he ran up there for a few staple items.

A lady in line two people behind me heard me say “no, I forgot it,” and said “you forgot your card, honey? Here, use mine.”

I thanked her as best as as I could, but the store was so busy I don’t know if she really understood just how heartfelt I meant my thanks to be. We are SO pressed for money right now, and every few dollars helps.

So thank you, ma’am. Without your card, I would have had to spend every dime in my wallet, with nothing left to give my husband so he could put gas in the car to get to work that night. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

This one is for Duck Duck Goose, my aforeto unmentioned favorite fellow Doper. Thank you for adding so much to every thread you are in. Your abilities as a internet data sleuth are, IMO, unrivaled. I believe (please forgive me and correct me if any of the following is inaccurate) I read somewhere that you are in your 40’s, are a mom, and reside in the Mid-West. Although I may be making up all or most of the above description, it’s helped me to create an image of you, seated in a comfortable chair, your computer resting on a wooden desk, with an entire universe of information literally at your fingertips. I imagine your internet searches as a divine circuit that begins in your mind, runs down your spine and arms then into your fingertips. From there, a synapse is bridged and the impulse enters your keyboard and runs out into the world. I imagine you sipping coffee, wearing the duckbill slippers, waiting patiently (did you mention somewhere that you have a slow internet connection?) for your carefully composed query to complete its circuit, the result displayed on your monitor, augmenting your already prodigious intelligence.

And don’t get me started on her even-temper, wit, and charm. And that she has, by far and away, the coolest username on this board.

Thanks for being here Duck Duck Goose.

I always wanted to say thank you to the girl who gave me a ride from Bloomington to Peoria… I was on my way back to school from St. Louis and had taken the train without figuring out the time schedules. I can’t remember what time I got there but everything was closed and this girl seemed to come out of nowhere and offered me a ride. What a blessing!

I never thanked my mom enough. She passed away two years ago. She raised 5 kids virtually on her own, my dad was pretty much self-centered even though he was around he really didn’t help out much.
My mom worked a public job in a factory for most of her life. Hard labor, very little pay. But somehow she managed to feed and clothe us. We didn’t have the name brand, but we always had clean clothes to wear and my mom worked hard to make sure that we weren’t made fun of at school.
We didn’t go many places to visit, I can remember her telling someone in the family one time that she didn’t go anywhere without her kids and if the kids weren’t welcome, then she didn’t feel welcome either. Now having 5 kids in any home is a bit much, so she was content to just stay home the little free time she had.
She made many sacrifices for us, I won’t even know how many, and she did without a lot of the extras in life.
What makes me sad is that she had only been retired for a year when she fell ill, out of the blue. One day she’s walking around laughing and the next she’s flat on her back in a hospital. She never completely recovered from that day on. She was in and out of the hospital and the rest of the time she was in a nursing home. It was only a few months before that she had taken out extra insurance to cover the cost of a nursing home if she ever had to be put in one. I told her to cancel the insurance and save her money for something else because we wouldn’t see her put in a nursing home.
Those words have haunted me ever since, because she had to have so much medication and had a feeding tube and was completely bed-ridden. We couldn’t have taken her home at any cost. She lived that way for two years.
So mom, I know you hear me…thank you.

{{{{ultress}}}}

…I think I need to visit my mom soon. And I’m willing to bet that a lot of us here on the boards could probably say the same…there’s not enough hugs in the world that’s gonna show my mom how much I care, but I think I’ll give it a try.

…thank you, ultress, for reminding all of us what an incredible gift our mothers are.

Several years ago, I had terrible, unremitting back pain from a bulging disc. Nothing helped except for massage, which would ease the pain for an hour or two. Jane was my massage therapist and she was the most amazing healer I have ever met. I had just moved to MD at the time and was very lonely as well as in pain. Jane provided love along with her massages–not only would she hug me afterwards, she would also kiss me on the cheek before she sent me back out into the world. It felt like a blessing. Jane was a mom to me without the usual mixed emotions moms bring out in us. She was exactly what I needed.

I saw Jane every week for about a year before my disc finally ruptured and was treated surgically. Shortly afterwards, I moved away.

Jane, I know I thanked you then, but I can never thank you enough. That was an incredibly difficult time of my life and I don’t know how I would have survived without your affection and healing.