The utterly dumbest idea for a present?

I would go for 500 lizards, but some might not.

Depends. What kind of lizards?

It’s not as easy as you think. When my wife goes shopping for clothes, she will take an armload of stuff into the dressing room and come out with maybe one thing that she was okay with. Ain’t no way I’m even going to try to buy her clothes unless it’s something she’s already picked out.

I ask friends/significant others/etc not to buy me jewelry or perfume. I’m very particular about those things. Especially perfumes, because some scents have an ingredient that’s a migraine trigger for me.

However, eating a beagle every day is quite an expensive habit!

But she won’t stop moving.

Try when she’s not eating the beagle.

Yeah, well we don’t usually exchange presents. She has just started doing it and I don’t know why.

Trust me, being a woman myself, I understand that all too well. But for something with some elbow room in the fit, like say a sweatshirt or nightgown – nothing form-fitting! – it would at least give you a fighting chance of being right. You also up your chances if you buy the same kind of item in the same brand.

I have my wife’s clothing, ring, and shoe sizes in my phone and they are updated regularly.

Now, I am not stupid enough to buy her shoes without her being present to try on said shoes. And clothes are always run past ZakDaughter for approval, but I have bought jewelry unsupervised and it has been successful (i.e. worn as part of her work outfits/going out with the girls nights.

I daresay you pay enough attention to her jewelry to have a sense of her preferences.

Painfully and slowly acquired, but yes. :slight_smile: I am the epitome of “an old dog can learn new tricks”.

Good boy! Here, have a doggy cookie.

As long as the doggy cookie is made from bourbon, you’re on!

I think the newpaper comic artist/author Charles Schulz had a perfect entry (and the perfect response) way back in 1973: Peanuts by Charles Schulz for August 06, 1973 - GoComics

isn’t she already busy, vacuuming?

true story:
When MsAl and I were getting married, the topic of wedding-rings kept creeping in … she kind of got quotes for those, but was appalled by the prices.

I mentioned that I have a friend working the night-shift at the morgue and he can get me a good deal for wedding-rings - if given some time…

hillarity ensued (in 50% of ourselves, and it wasn’t her)

now, 20 years later we still have that as somewhat of a running joke in the family (while we flash our stainless steel wedding rings :wink: )

Having known several Saint Bernards, I can say that that’s definitely an apropos name for one.

hence the chocolate to soothe…