Computers? No way
The internet? Yes, when it comes to research
Art? Yes, photography in particular.
Math? No way.
Chemistry? Don’t recall if I even took it. I know I didn’t in college.
Writing? Yes, but with a lot of practice! I suck at spelling and grammar (I keep forgetting the rules), but when I put my mind to it, I do well.
I don’t read that many self-help books anymore. I do a lot of reading on the internet in my free time. During the school year I study, socialize, and am involved in a lot of activities. I’ve been a social chair in almost every organization I joined. And yes, that’s what I want to do for life, plan events for people. I’m good in the idea phase, but not when it comes to carrying them out. My inability to plan ahead and organize is coming back to bite me where I least want it to.
Have you ever studied PR at all? That job is all about schmoozing people. You may also want to look into event planning jobs, but plan to work as an intern (likely unpaid) for a while. And if you don’t follow through on the ideas, expect to work there for about a week. A friend of mine from my last job interned as a party planner with an agency, but it was a massive pain in the ass because she still needed to pay the bills - that meant day job, as well. So oftentimes, she’d find herself in the midst of 14 hour days. But that sacrifice was okay for her because it meant that every day she was closer to her goal of doing what she wanted to do for a living.
The problem that I (and a lot of people) see here is that it appears that you are asking for ways to have the world bend to your ideals rather than having you conform to the way things are. Trust me, I know it sucks. It wasn’t my idea of a great time to be sitting in my cubicle working at 7 am today, but I had to do it. In fact, the reason I did it is that by doing that a couple of days a week, I can leave early on Friday afternoon during the summer. That’s the kind of compromise you can expect - you’ll get something you want, but don’t expect to get it for free. You have to give on your side and sometimes it will seem like you’re giving an inordinate amount compared to what you’re receiving. And the worst part is that those years are usually stacked at the beginning of your career when you’re still trying to find what you want to do with your life anyway so you’re working your ass off in a job you don’t like for less money than you think you deserve. If you’re lucky, you either find a job you like or the job you don’t like starts to pay a lot more. But even those two require a crapload of really hard work.
Bottom line: it’s not going to be easy, even if you find something you like and are good at doing. Be prepared for a lot of hard work.
You don’t? The problem is that those people are a drain on everyone else in their lives. It’s ok to want to act or paint or whatever. But don’t expect someone else to support you while you dabble in it. Approach it seriously in your spare time while you support yourself in a regular job.
It’s the actually carrying things out that people want. How can you plan events for people (isn’t that what Tony Soprano’s fucknut kid wanted to do?) if you cant plan and organize?
Based on what you wrote, you’ll never make it in PR or event planning. There are lots of people who have ideas; frankly that’s a dime-a-dozen attribute. What is worth something is people who follow through and actually pull things off successfully; under budget and on time. Organization, planning, follow-thru, that’s what makes for successful event planners. The ones who do it well are among the most organized, anal-retentive people I know.
There are lots of jobs that will suit you, but like most people have said, you’re going to have to work at them and develop your skills. No one is born with all the skills - even musicians have to practice. You like coming up with ideas and planning events, but you’re not very organised? So work on your organisational skills. See it as the side skill you need to acquire to give you the full set for a job you enjoy. There are computer programs that help you stay on track with project planning these days.
You’re going to have to work at something to survive, just try to make it something you enjoy so the good things outweigh the bad.
Boooooo, wrong answer. The list of items were examples. I meant for you to answer with one thing that you are good at, and more importantly that you enjoy. It doesn’t need to be in that list.
There ARE people who do a job…I call them corporate mentats, but in truth they have a variety of titles. They gather information from all sorts of sources, sit in meetings, talk to people. Then, the say something that keeps the company from making a $6million mistake. Or say “maybe we should expand into the kids market.” Often though, the job also involves a lot of writing, project management, engineering, analysis or SOMETHING else. I’ve done this - as a Six Sigma Blackbelt. I know other people who have done it. But the kicker is I don’t know anyone who hasn’t done it with the critical peice to be able to do it - experience, lots of it and broad. You don’t come out of college with the type of experience that gives you instictive insight into what will be a waste and what is a good idea. And you need to be able to prove why its a good or bad idea - which means math, statistics, research, writing, discipline and timliness.
But really, it’s not such a bad thing to be a little lost at 22. A LOT of people are, probably MOST of us. You don’t have to have the answers to all of these questions - in fact, there may not even BE answers to a lot of them. It takes time to get to know yourself, your temperament, where you “fit” in the world.
What you DO have to do is get out there and make a real effort.
Shortcutting that will cause you to spin your wheels. A lot. I have a BIL who’s got some skills & talents, but has never been willing to settle down and work at something in particular. He’d rather go mountain climbing or Xtreme biking or snowboarding or whatever for big chunks of the year. So now he’s 35 - and he’s still a waiter. Living in his car. And “borrowing” money (except he never pays it back).
There’s nothing you can do to support yourself that doesn’t require effort (aside from inheriting a large sum of money or winning the lottery). I had a friend who lived in a cabin in Oregon, unemployed for YEARS. He collected moss from trees and sold it to craft supply houses. He had to get up every morning and go out to the woods for hours, collecting moss. He wanted to be high all day, and this job allowed him to do it, but he had to get up every day and do it. This is true for everyone…even those whose job it is to simply live off the land. You have to cut wood, gather, hunt, repair, create, cook, etc. There are no free rides for anyone but the slackiest of slackers. Parasites, if you will.
It also isn’t that unusual to think that you are qualified to do all sorts of things at 22 that you really aren’t. Or perhaps you are, but to be given a shot to do them would require a LOT of luck. Or that people will pay you to do what you want - a few lucky souls get that, but most of us have to make compromises between our talents and skills and desires, and putting up with the shit work. Eventually you learn that all jobs have shit work and you just have to do it.
I’m 33 and I don’t know what I want to do. I know I like not working and hanging out late drinking at the shore with my friends but that doesn’t really pay the bills. So in the meantime I try to develop ACTUAL skills and knowledge - accounting, computer programming, business, public speaking, presentation, etc. Stuff someone will actually pay me to do. I’m fairly creative too (as in I can actually draw and paint and whatnot…in fact I originally majored in Architecture) so I try to put my creativity into my work when I can.
But I know many people who do not develop any practical skills. And what I would see is that every year, everyone else is just a little further along in their lives while they live at home and continue to fuck around.
It’s ok at 22 to have an aimless and unfocused life of partying and lounging about. It’s not ok at 35. At some point, people will be like “what the fuck is wrong with this guy”.
I have a great idea! Let’s you and I go on the road and do self-improvement seminars. I’ll tell about my lifestyle (freelance, creative, work-from-home, close ties to family). Then you kick the living crap out of me (metahorically speaking of course) and go on to pound the pulpit about What’s Wrong With America Today that someone like me isn’t a. homeless, b. behind bars or c. doing minimum-wage night-shift telemarketing.
Don’t want to pig pile on Diamond, but people are, can be, and probably should be lost at age 22.
However, there’s being lost, knowing it, and knowing that you’re going to fix it, or at least being prepared to deal with the consequences of being lost.
And then, there’s being lost and saying, “why won’t someone show me the way, or at least give me the means to live while I’m lost”. Which is a lot more like what we’re hearing from Diamond.
The problem, I think, is that a lot of us don’t want to have to deal with consequences of things they feel “aren’t their fault.”
Like personality traits, aptitudes, or abilities. One might think, “gee, we’ve got laws that you can’t discriminate against people based on color, race, religion…why should I be any different?”
However, in anything short of a full social-welfare state, employers are legally entitled to discriminate on the basis of any traits that haven’t expressly been outlawed. There are no meaningful equal opportunity laws for people with “soft” diseases like depression, OCD, ADD, etc. Let alone Type B, C, or Z personalities.
There’s ample precedent for the right to fire people at will, and that includes such trivialities as moderate after-hour drinking, eating garlic at lunchtime and wearing skirts 1/2" too short. As far as not hiring someone in the first place…well, you’d have to be a member of a universally recognized grievance class AND have a first-class lawyer to get results there.
Thus, in anything short of a full social-welfare state, one’s continued survival at anything above bare poverty levels requires catering to employers’ legally protected discriminatory tendencies.
Diamonds02, I bet your college has a career resources center. Why not schedule an appointment with one of their staff and talk about your concerns? They might have some good suggestions for you.
You may not want to hear this, since you’re finishing up your degree and are probably sick of school, but community colleges offer great opportunities to develop marketable skills. You can take night classes in very practical things (everything from Excel and Quickbooks to early childhood development to pastry making).
I’d also suggest doing temp work for a while. It will give you a chance to work in all kinds of environments, so you can find out which ones you like and which you don’t. It can also easily lead to a permanent job.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a job rather than a career. But as msmith537 points out, you have to be able to support yourself. And even if you have just a job, you have to plan for health insurance, retirement, etc. That necessarily entails less spontaneity and freedom than you’d otherwise ideally have. Sucks, but there’s no way around it.
Oh, for Pete’s sake. It isn’t a “discriminatory tendency” for someone prepared to offer cash for labor to actually expect to get work out of the person to whom they intend to give cash, nor to choose people they think are the most likely to actually do work for the cash they’re receiving. Neither is it discriminatory when the converse occurs and the people with the best skillset choose the employer offering them the best cash (or other benefits) over those who offer less.
And, frankly, there are meaningful laws to protect people with soft diseases, provided that disease is actually disabling to them. And by disable, I mean in the actual definition of the word - “make unable to perform a certain action”. I’m absolutely certain that it’s difficult for people with “soft” diseases to work for a living - it’s more challenging for them than it is for me-with-no-disease-at-all. However, I think you’re confusing an actual disease - depression or OCD or an anxiety disorder - with the not-uncommon urge to drift through life having whatever you want handed to you on a platter. I have nothing but sympathy for the former and nothing but contempt for the latter. Or, more accurately, people who let the latter control their lives.
We all have to deal with the consequences of things that aren’t our fault. The solution is easy enough: Suck it up. It’s not my fault I’m a woman, or have had arthritis since I was 12, or my mother’s fault she’s had depression her whole life, or my husband’s fault his parents are absolutely insane. I have a friend who was brutally raped and as a result can’t stand to be around men, even in the least threatening fashion - not her fault, but still she has to deal with it. All of Og’s children have to deal with things that aren’t their fault that are at least potentially detrimental to their lives. The willingness to at least attempt to deal with the things that aren’t our fault is a hallmark of maturity and adulthood. We don’t have to succeed in dealing, but we do have to at least give it our best shot. Rolling over and whining “it’s not my fault” doesn’t help anything, and quite often hurts in the long run. If something is, then it is. Ignoring it won’t help, and neither will kvetching about how it’s not your fault.
To be brutally honest, I wouldn’t hire the OP myself. And it’s because the tone of his posts and therefore the impression I get of him is that he’s aimless and lazy. Aimless is perfectly natural at his age (and at most ages really - most people are aimless at some point in their life). It’s the lazy that gets me. He doesn’t even seem willing to try - he just wants what he wants handed to him on a nice plate. I wouldn’t hire someone with that mindset on a dare. Please note this is not the same as someone who has obstacles that they’re willing to at least work on - that’s fine. Ain’t nobody perfect. The OP, however, doesn’t sound like that person. Hell, he won’t even list an actual skill, despite being asked repeatedly. I don’t think he wants help. I think he wants to whine.
What many people don’t understand is that I have tried helping myself. My attempts on trying to figure things out for myself has pretty much failed. I tried seeking outside help. I’ve seen several threrapists, read about fifty or sixty self help books, and cruise the internet for hours each day. I’m finding so many ideas that I don’t know what to do with them. But, I’m not finding many specific actions on how to carry out all of the ideas I thought of and acquired from other people and sources. When I do find specific solutions, they don’t work in every situation.
Personally, I think it would be more irresponsible and immature, if I failed to recognize that I cannot do EVERYTHING myself (and that goes for everyone else, no man is an island).
I’m not looking for a quick fix. Again, quick and specific solutions don’t work for every situation. But, I do need some direction on how to put what I learned into action.
You have to change. There is no job out there that will give you what you want.
Realize that most of us would rather not have to work, or not work at our specific job. Most of us aren’t particularly happy to go into the workplace every day, and we don’t like the people we work with. Alas, food on the table and a roof over your head is worth it.
Go get a job. Any job. You said you’ve had some before, so I assume you know how to fill out applications, send in resumes, etc.
Once you have a job, make a commitment to yourself to stay there for six months. During that six months, concentrate on the good aspects of the job, even if the only good aspect is the paycheck.
If you’re still miserable at the end of six months, find another job. Rinse and repeat. Eventually you’ll find one you can at least tolerate.
Not that I disagree with all the OP bashing BUT let us just take a look at some of the varying ways of dealing with a hopeless, lazy, good for nothing who is looking for help. And kindly recall that at no point was there any necessity for you to chip in and help or even say anything, as it is a public forum and there are new threads every two seconds to respond to if you’re all that board.
So now you can:
Offer the first suggestion to come to your mind. Go away.
Ask for more information, try and find out as much information as you can, and give the best answer you can give. Maybe even whap the person about figuratively in hopes that you can jog them from their reveree and get real. Try to seek gold and do your best for them.
Make fun of them and run them off of the board for being a pathetic lazy loser.
Talk about the OP in the third person in their own thread at length in really concrete examples of just all the ways they are a probably a lazy loser and how helpless a situation that is.
Now to go over possible results of any of these methods of approaching the problem, and the relative “coolness” quotient that can be attained by practing them:
This method is pretty hit and miss. Most likely a miss and the idea will have gone down the drain the instant the OP let it pass through his eyes. Even if it was a dream job for that person, most probably they will automatically mark it off as “impossible that I could ever be able to do something so wonderful.” However, the coolness quotient of this approach isn’t bad. You stopped by, at least skimmed the thread and tried to add something positive regardless of whether you found it to be a shot in the dark or not.
Well, either the OP will flee away and feel worse about himself for not being able to give any sort of concrete responses, or maaaaaaybe you’ll actually accomplish something. If you did accomplish something, true this will mean that you’ll probably need to keep whapping the person on the head every once in a while as they go stupid again–but hey, you’re doing good by them. So, true that the overall likelihood of success is amazing small, but still the coolness quotient is perfectly Doper level. You may feel comfort in the knowledge that you are an adult.
This is the “My life sucks and you are an easy target” method. Popular among fellows who get to work sales counters, answer phones all day, or grill hamburgers just to put themselves through school every day, whereas the OP is a little sniveling “oh I need my mommy to help me pick out a job that won’t make me have to work but give me money so I can watch all the porn I want for the rest of my life with my blankey.” Now, while this approach does admittedly clear the board of people who aren’t at Doper levels of mental will power–it also thus deprives the board of paying members, and more importantly has exactly a zero coolness factor. You’re just being a jerk, and serving no purpose except to amuse the other people reading who enjoy picking on people they can shove about in their bailiwick.
This is the response of the person who is bright, not necessarily a bad person, but also who gets themselves into trouble all the time because they don’t know how to self-censor. No ill-will is meant, but specifically for that reason and because the person posting writes very succinctly with examples and giving forth specific reasons why the OP is eternally doomed and that there is no hope–in end result will probably be the most damaging to the original enquirer. It is doubtful that this will have anything like the effect of giving them a friendly kick in the pants, and rather work to decrease the persons self confidence and thus worsen their position to new lows. Overall coolness quotient is middling. You don’t lose any points as ill will wasn’t intended–but still…
Sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other is your best option.
I can understand this b/c my response to stress is to pull back & philosophize & try to figure out the “best” solution w/out actually DOING anything.
Once you start making choices, any choices, you’ll find other options as a result. You don’t have to “succeed” to begin with - just aim for survival. “Picking a career” works for some people. But plenty of others wind up with a career as a result of many years’ worth of choices.
Find something you like & are willing to work hard at, and go from there.