M.S.K. New and improved! An open personal letter to the SDMB.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Dear Dopers,

(Introduction: This is going to be extremely long. Please bear with me. This is important to me. I hope it will be important to you as well.)

I have been participating at the SDMB enough to know that the majority of people here are quite intelligent, respectable, mature, and responsible people. Therefore, I turn to you, for your suggestions, advice, and opinions on the following matter.

I hate my job. I utterly despise it! “Why?” you may ask. Here is the situation I am faced with:

Part One: The Job Itself
If you do not already know, I began working full-time, third-shift stock crew, last week, at a local supermarket. The job itself is quite simple: unload the truck, sort the stock, put stock on the shelves, and keep the shelves neat. That’s it. Pretty simple, eh? That is the problem. It is “too” simple. Too simple for me, I feel. This job offers no challenge, no skill, and virtually no responsibility. It is a slacker-job, a job for losers (i.e. people with no outside life), or a good job for young people just starting a job for the first time in their lives. IMHO, a bunch of chimpanzees can do this job.
Furthermore: I work 40+ hours a week. Working overnight is hell on me, and is totally “un-natural.” I usually get off between 5:30 and 6:30 am. I make something to eat, then go straight to bed when I get home. I am totally drained. I sleep until about 4:00 pm. I do whatever I have to do, e.g. hygiene, household chores and it’s time to go back to work again. I miss the sun, I miss my friends, I miss the weekends, and I miss life itself. I feel as though I am a literal zombie, the undead. It blows!

Part Two: The People I Work With
One word: FREAKS! The guys I work with are creepy, strange, and totally perverse, IMO. There are eight guys on night crew. Two of them are “Goths” or “punks.” They are tattooed, pierced, and have weird dyed hairstyles (one is pink). The store is closed during our hours, so they play totally sick shit on their boomboxes all night long: gangsta rap, and “devil-music.” The other guys are all “white-trash.” These are the kind of men who’s ass-crack is always one third out of their pants, who have farting contests, talk about guns all the time, and love trouble. I won’t go into any unnecessary details, but they remind me, personality-sense, of the film “Deliverance.” The worst part of this bunch, is the “team-leader,” Mike. He is a total asshole, who is power/control-freak, not to mention that he seems to have targeted me for “being the new guy” and God knows whatever else.
This bastard loves to single me out. He is constantly teetering on the borderline between being a “tough” boss and being an “abusive” boss. He hasn’t done anything, yet, that I would be able to go to superior about, without just cause or evidence, however. I can’t help but feel that the rest of crew would back him up and dispute any complaints I may have. I’ve only been there one week, but I have learned about the character of said individuals. It is quite ugly. I could go into a lot of detail here, but this would take too much length for a post.

Part Three: The People & the Job Together
Bottom line is: Do everything MIKE’s way, or the highway. Forget proper methods. Part of our job is supposed to be rotating the stock. Don’t ever let Mike catch you rotating or you’ll hear about it. Mike’s method of thinking seems to be: “I don’t give a flying [copulation] if that can of Spaghettios is five years old, we have to get done by X o clock.” Hmmm, I’m glad I do not shop at that store. I have found stuff already that is probably some sort of code violations. You can probably thank Mike for that. Again, I could say much more, but this will suffice.
This brings me to the major point of my posting this. What I am concerned with, right here, is not the problems I have with my co-workers or superior, but instead WORK itself. This job has really opened my eyes to a part of myself that I never was fully aware of, until now. What is this awareness of? My work ethic. For many years, I had attempted to “repress” my work ethic. This horrible current situation, oddly, has brought out the best in me. A part I desperately needed bringing out. I may be depressed and angry over my job, but my self-esteem has skyrocketed. I have grown to realize that I enjoy challenge, responsibility, maturity, quality, and a multitude of other positive traits. I have also discerned the “type” of worker I am. An explanation follows.

IMO, there are three positive types of workers:
(1) performers: people who are speed and efficiency oriented. Their goal is quantity
(2) painstakers: people who are quality and people oriented. Their goal is thoroughness and satisfaction of a job well done.
(3) Combination: people who can do both one and two, simultaneously, and do them very well. A rare breed, indeed.

I am number two. As a consumer, client, or employee, this is what matters most to me. I would much rather buy a product that was well made, or hire an individual or company to do a job, properly, and thoroughly. My car is in the shop right now. It has been there for 3 weeks. I am glad to pay them the $1400 that I must, because I know they are doing the job right. They are doing it thoroughly, I can trust them, and they are very personable. Why would I want to pay $1400 to some other garage who will do a “rush job” and then possibly a month later, I have to take it back again for the same repair cause they did it in such a hurry before, that they missed something vital.

We’re getting closer toward the end here. Hold on, please.

Now I come to this observation, in view of all of the above. I have no idea what type of job I would thrive in. In today’s society and business world, everything is geared toward speed and mass production, ultimately sacrificing quality in the process. A simple everyday example: furniture… you will be hard pressed finding furniture made of 100% natural real wood these days. If you do, it’s gonna cost you BIG. Fifty years ago, real wood was the norm. The “pressboard” shit they put out these days would’ve been considered trash, back then. Why do think that stuff on antique roadshow is worth so damn much…. One word, QUALITY. Industry is all about quantity, not quality these days.

So, my dilemma is finding a job I can thrive in, where I can give 110% of what I have to offer and be recognized for my workmanship. Sadly, it seems that this leaves me very little options, other than beginning a business of my own. There are many things that I do very well that I can make my own business out of. Here is a brief list: art, writing, landscaping, organization, cleaning, just to name a few.

The art and writing, alone, have endless “branches” that I could get into. Unfortunately, this would require some sort of college training, which I have none of. Sure, I could apply for grants and financial aid and go. I would love to. So what is stopping me? priorities, mainly debt. There is no way I could do both a full time job (like this shit job) and school. I’m just not built for that. So, how would I support myself while schooling?

It all comes down the simply philosophy: If you love what you do for a living, you never work a day in your life. Take my previous job for example. I loved that so much that I looked FORWARD to going to work everyday. I never had a single complaint about that job. I liked that job so much, I would go do it for free if I could. It was very hard work, very challenging, yet ridiculously simple and fun at the same time. If you want to know what happened to that job, search my old threads, it’s explained somewhere there.

I have a novel that I began writing six years ago. It is a supernatural thriller. I never finished it. Maybe it’s high time I fired up the keyboard and jumped back into it. Maybe I should dust off that old sketchbook and pencils and start drawing again. I want to live, damnit! And no dumb shit job like this is going to stop me. If anything, it makes me want to try harder to seek better. Failure is not an option; it is a choice. I choose not to fail. If I have to tell this job to stick it eventually, I will, because I know I am worth far more to myself, and anyone else out there. To hijack a famous film quote: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore!” Nobody or no thing is going to hold me down anymore. Fuck ‘em all! I’m not being egotistical here, I just have newly discovered self-confidence and it feels so good. I must say, this job did have one redeeming quality: it was the shovel that dug up a part of me that I had buried so deep, I wasn’t sure I would ever find it again. Thank you shit-job for making me remember I am a real man!

The End (My apologies for the length. I think it was well justified though.)

2

Just a quick thought. Are there any records/data archiving businesses anywhere near you? That might be an area of industry you might take to.

Good luck!

3

MSK, I was in your situation. I did get a new job, here I am, and I’m looking for a new one starting this week with appointments with some headhunters. What type of education do you have? How’s your resumé look? Landscaping sounds like it might be fun, as an artist, it’s something I wouldn’t mind doing. I understand about the job not fulfilling you because you are obviously intelligent, and mature. You don’t need to work in a mindless job just to pay the bills, and you don’t need the company of uncaring individuals either. You seem to have good work ethics, as I believe I do. As for you three types of workers, I probably fit number three more, but leaning towards two. I like to do my job well, but I like to do it quickly and efficiently if possible. So why not do a search through the paper and see what interests you? There’s nothing wrong with going from job to job until you find the right one for you. Do you see yourself as a manager somewhere? There are companies worth looking into where you can rise pretty quickly, or even go straight into a managerial position. I did that at Kinko’s after working the shipping dock like you did. I became manager of the store when going to college. It was a job that required responsibility, and I liked taking care of my employees. They respected that and I ended up with a good crew working for me. Store actually did very well under my supervision, but the money wasn’t enough for me, so I left that for the job I have now. Still no good after two years… So the search goes on, but you shouldn’t let this get to you. Take it in stride, search out your possibilities as far as what types of things you see yourself doing, and remember that you can always do your writing as well. I run my own company on the side, I only started it a few months ago, and it’s doing pretty well so far. I’m satisfied with that. Not complacent though. So I continue to move on. You should just look at this and laugh if you can, and move on. What do you see yourself able to do?

4

I got through a paragraph and a half, skimmed to positive worker types, then skimed down to the bottom looking for a question.

There were none so I go back to you soliciting suggestions, advice and opinions.

Before you start your own business do what you want to do for someone else.
Find out how he does it.
Then do it for yourself.

In the meantime, it’s those paychecks which pay the rent. Keep at this job 'til you find a more palateable job elsewhere.

5

To be totally honest, I have felt in my heart for many years that my creative gifts are my lifeblood. Utilizing them in any fashion would be rewarding, but my ultimate dream, for nearly a decade or more, has been the following: to write, produce, and direct motion pictures. I have no knowledge or training of this field. I didn’t even finish high school. I have my GED and that’s all. That doesn’t really mean a whole lot. Look at Quentin Tarantino, he was a video store clerk whose passion for movies turned him into a film maker. Movies have been a great passion of mine all my life. I have no dreams of granduer about it. I would be happy to have simply MADE a film. Box office gross, Oscars, all that crap are just “side dishes.” Creativity is the main course. The more you create, the fatter you get, even if it’s only in self-esteem. IMHO success in anything, is measured by how you much of YOU you put into your work.

The medium is not so significant, I just want to share my creations with the world, whether I am writing poems, painting signs, making movies, drawing the sunday funnies, whatever.

6

Hey. How bad do you want to got to school? I can tell you that if you REALLY want to go, you’ll find a way. I did. Decide on an institution of higher learning. If it’s near you–fabulous. Are you over 22? This could be a really good thing, it was for me. Make an appointment to speak to someone in admissions–or the person involved with non-traditional students (if you are over 22). Tell this person what you want to do. Or what you’d like to try. It is their job to help you figure out how to do it. They’ll send you to the financial aid office. It is their job to help you figure out how to manage going to school and staying alive. They can actually have some answers.
Remember. When in doubt, talk to the big cheese. Make the appointment with the head of the financial aid department. You’ll have to be patient and follow through. But if you do, you’ll show the institution that you’re serious about obtaining a degree.
I went back to school and worked part time in a library and as a tutor for the college. I got scads of grants and loans because of my age–I’m happy to write that loan payment every month. It was the BEST thing I ever did for myself.
But you have to really want to do it and want it for yourself. You’ll have to be willing to look at managing your life differently for a few years. It’s worth it.
Best of luck, struuter

7

MSK:

For what it’s worth, my suggestions

1.) Do get a new job. Unless the money is so good or there’s really no alternative, you should get another job, even if it involves a cut in pay. If you hate wha you do every day and it’s making you a zombie, then I don’t see the point.

2.) Get a job doing close to what you want. If you think writing is for you, see if you can get a job that involves a lot of it. It needn’t be anything as obvious as a staff writer or copyrighter. You can write reports or memos or whatever. But you’ll get to practice your craft, and it’ll be a hell of a lot more fun than you’re having now.

3.) Don’t quit your job to become a full-time freelance writer. Not unless you’ve got money to fall back on or an angel to suport you. I’m not the model for anyone wanting to be a professional writer, but all the money I’ve made at it wouldn’t cover one of my mortgage payments. I put in eight years on a book and I still haven’t seen a dime.

8

MSK,

I feel for you. I’ve been there too. You look around at the other employees and note the obvious differences, ex. I can read etc…
I’m also in the same place when it comes to college.

I would suggest trying out different jobs. I don’t know where you live but their probably are some different jobs. Just getting on a day shift somewhere would probably help your overall attitude a lot. I helped my situation (slightly, and for the time being) by getting an office job. The atmosphere is much much better even though it is still not challenging and I’m lowest on the food chain here.

It does sound like your job bites the big one. I would definitely try to find a different one. Even if it’s still retail a different environment might help out significantly.

As for long term goals, if you don’t want to get a 4 year degree how about a tech school? There are different things (like real estate) you can do with just a 9 week course.
Hope that helped. Hang in there!

9

MSK, I imagine you can do exactly what you want. Have a video camera? Got yourself an idea for a script? Even a short one, or are you in the process of writing one? How about E-Films or E-Movies, I don’t know what they are calling them now, but even Siskel is rating those…
As far as paying the bills go, the papers are full of job listings that you might like to do in the mean time. Keep us updated.

10

I am a self taught computer geek and it has served me well. Buy some books, study and become what you want. Institutions of higher learning are fine but they aren’t a neccessity any longer. If you have the umption you can teach yourself at least enough to allow you to break into a new field.

11

You say you want to make movies. But don’t do it the hard way. Do it the easy way (well, easier than making some award-winning short and such). Move to L.A. Consider going to producer school and getting a job on the crews of some films. Work your way up from there.

As long as you don’t want to be some famous actor or screenwriter or director, I hear that getting into the film industry isn’t brain surgery. After that, your attention to detail and creativity will speak for itself. Unlike stocking shelves, movie people have no compunction about moving you around depending on your skills. Sure, you may be a gofer for a while, but you may get a shot at more, too.

12

Hmmm? I’m sorry. Did you just say something?

13

MSK,

I can sympathize. I’ve been in your position as well, except my job from hell was working for the city parks dept. They were all slackers and losers who never did any work, and always blamed the newbies and seasonal workers for any problems or mistakes they made. Plus, they took 2 days to mow a park that really could be done in half a day. The management had gotten so conditioned to having bad workers, that when I got a job that normally took 5 hrs done in 2 hrs, they would get on my case.

I worked that job one summer as a seasonal employee and swore I would never work there again… well 2 years later, I was working there again because I really needed the money. It sucked and was tough, but I do have to admit that because of that experience I developed a better work ethic and now have the satisfaction of being able to laugh at them now. I’ve got a job I really enjoy and they still work there!

My advice would be that if you really need to change jobs, do it, but don’t worry if you don’t and continue to be treated like crap because you will ultimately be the one who succeeds and leaves the rest of these losers in the dust.

14

Call me old fashioned, but I always thought you were supposed to work menial jobs you hated to put yourself through some type of schooling, and then move onto a career. If you are near a community college, you should take some classes. People who bitch and moan never get anywhere. People who will work of it reach their destination.

And don’t come back and say “But I can’t go to community college” If you want to succeed, you’ll figure out a way. If you don’t, then you’ll continue to post on this board about how horrible your life is.

15

Keep plugging until you find the job you want.

I retired from the Navy in '92, and I must have worked a couple of dozen jobs before I found this one. Several of those jobs I absolutly hated, some were ok. Now I’m at a place where I enjoy the people I work for/with, and I enjoy the work I’m doing. I currently plan to retire from here when I’m old and grey. Ok, when I’m old.

Anyway, keep your chin up, and a smile on your face. When you’re always smiling, they think your up to something. It drives them nuts! You WILL find a job that suits you and your talents.

V.

16

What were you doing in the job you loved, MSK? Any way to do it somewhere else?

It sounds like the place you live is hell: no good women (as you’ve pointed out, ad nauseum), no good jobs (as you’ve pointed out, ad infinitum)…Maybe it’s time for a change of scene? A class at the local community college? A one-way ticket to somewhere else? A trip to the ___ for Dummies section of your local bookstore to learn a new skill? A temp agency?

As for your novel, you wouldn’t be the first successful writer to struggle through some icky manual labor job at night and write by day - if it’s what you love make a way to do it.

Oh, and maybe you want to stop judging everyone on their looks. Everyone is a freak, either on the outside or the inside. Relax - learn something from the people you work with, and let it inform your writing. Not everyone can be an uptight Christian white guy with a strict “no devil-music” policy.

Good luck.

17

I’m sorry, I’m with magadalene on this one. The “new, improved” MSK apparently still doesn’t hesitate to slam others on the basis of appearance. You might eschew tattoos and piercings and wearing black, but immediately labeling those who do as “freaks” is not justified.

Maybe one of the reasons you hate where you live so much is that you’ve cut yourself off from some of the more interesting, creative, challenging, diverse people in your community. I can guaranfrickingtee you that you won’t be happy anywhere else, because the world is full of the very “freaks” that turn you off so much.

Suck it up, start looking for another job while keeping this one, and keep working towards your goals. In the meantime, you’ll stop being the dorky new guy sooner when you stop feeling superior to all the people you work with.

18

If you don’t have the degree, try moving to a place that does things you’re interested in. If you like landscaping, dealing with people, providing a quality product, why not try working in a gardening store/florist?

I had a friend who worked for a gardening supply store. He worked weekends doing landscaping work with a crew. Outdoors in the sun, selling plants, joking around with the crew guys–he really loved it. He’s got a quality control job now, but he still does freelance landscaping on weekends. Loves plants.

He also writes part time (he’s working on a scifi novel). Sounds a bit like you.

19

There are lots of reasons to either like or dislike what you do for a living. If you want your method of earning money to define who you are, then you may have trouble finding a satisfactory job.

I chose a while ago to make sure I got a good job that contributed to my family’s income. That’s all it does. Brings money in. I had tried to find self-fulfillment in my work and realized that, for me, I had it all backwards. My job is what I do. Not who I am. Who I am is a husband, father, son, brother, fiddler-around-with-humor-writer, and a bunch of other stuff that probably won’t get me any money. But they are more important to my self-image than being a guy who kills roaches, which is what I do.

Conversely (and perhaps perversely, as well), I found that I do enjoy this job. I’m service oriented to begin with, and I like solving problems and helping people. Few things give me as much satisfaction as finding a nest of ants and wiping it out, or locating the point of access for the mice getting into the basement and then fixing it. I’m making people’s homes and businesses better places, and I’m getting paid for it.

Still, I could walk away from this job tomorrow and not regret it. I’d be the same person I’ve always been; I’d just be earning money some other way.

Still, I don’t know if I would like a sucky job like yours, MSK. There does come a point where the negatives become overwhelming, and it sounds like you’ve reached it. Good luck finding a better position. But I would caution you to remember: whatever you do, it’s only a job. Find happiness and self-fulfillment outside of the workplace.

20

After having read all of your replies, I got involved in some serious thinking about this matter. Here are my reflections…

I never claimed to be unable to go to college, period. I simply am unable to do it at this immediate point in my life. FYI, there at least a dozen colleges, right here in my town. To name a few: The University of Notre Dame, Indiana University, IVY Tech, Holy Cross, St. Mary’s, Bethel College, and many more. I have looked into this somewhat. IU has struck my fancy and offers many great courses which would fit my interests and talents. If all goes well, I could begin within a year’s time. My ultimate goal, at present, is to completely eradicate every cent of debt I owe. I would say that is a very important and significant goal, and a commendable one, at that. The less burden I have upon myself, the more I can focus on achieving higher goals. I don’t see any logic in doubling my debt, right now, by making financial aid payments. I am trying to move forward, financially and successfully speaking.

Out of honesty, I must say, that you are correct, but only to a point. I may come across as overly-judgmental according to appearance, but this just isn’t entirely accurate. Two of my closest friends (a) have tattoos (b) have piercings. Therefore, although I may not enjoy their methods of self-expression, I don’t turn them away based solely on my “preferences.” I admire these friends for their character. OTOH, The guys at work, quite frankly, make me feel very uncomfortable, but it’s not their appearance alone, it’s their character. In regard to the music they play, which I musingly labeled as “devil music” is because it’s highly offensive. This has nothing to do my religious beliefs. In all the music they listen to, literally every two or three words are “fuck,” or something equally obscene. Many of these are also incessant rants about “killing so-and-so” or killing people in general. A typical chorus to the majority of their stuff would go something like: “fk the world, kill the world, fk you, die mother f***ker.” don’t find that very “personable.” It wouldn’t be so bad if it was only once in awhile, but they listen to this stuff for eight and a half hours straight, every freaking night. They are very “into” it and often are “karaoking” along with it. I can’t say many people here would want to be all handshakes and smiles with someone who enjoys singing about killing people and profanity for eight hours a day. If they want to listen to that, we are allowed to wear headphones, so go ahead and let them listen, just don’t make me have to listen too. I don’t think they would appreciate me blasting Joan Jett or Madonna in their ears all night long, and they probably would find my music as equally offensive as I find theirs. FYI, I have been wearing my own headphones, so I don’t have to listen to their boombox so much, but they turn their stuff up so loud, that I nearly have to blow my own brains out with my own music. They won’t turn it down. I happen to value my hearing.

As for the rest of the guys at work, they are just immaturely gross and neanderthal-like. As I said, they go around having farting contests and such. This is not the Beavis & Butthead show, it’s work. They need to realize that and grow up.

The guy I mentioned who’s name is Mike, is probably the only guy I have a “justifiable” personal beef with. He likes to ride my ass, just because I’m the new guy, I’m older than he is, and he thinks he is invincible and omnipotent. He is not our manager. The only real “authority” he has is seniority. He ignores proper procedures, and everyone lets him get away with it because he has been a faithful employee for a good number of years. One example of his “hardassness” is, one night last week, we went on break. The team is all supposed to take break at the same time. Our break time allotment is 30 minutes. Mike made the team’s break nearly 50 minutes that night (he was team super’ that night). Then, later, he jumps on my ass, for no reason, because we are behind. Hmm, funny how Mike forgets his own BS. I sure didn’t “give myself” an extra 20 minutes of breaktime. Mike is damn slick. He knows exactly how to teeter on the brink between being a stern leader, and being an abusive tyrant, without doing anything that will get him nailed and reprimanded by his superiors or peers. Nuff said.

I want to wrap this up with this note: I have a job. I am thankful that I have this job, despite my displeasures thereof. Any job is better than no job. I may hate my job, but it doesn’t matter, because I know I will move on to bigger and better things in the near future. I can make it happen. I will make it happen. A few of you feel as though I had been whining. Maybe I was a little, but don’t condemn me for it, until you know the whole story. I don’t “eschew” people unless I have some insight into their character. I suppose I could have gone into more detail in my OP, and explained the whole story. I’m not “slamming” for the sake of slamming.

Finally, my overall thoughts in my OP was geared toward turning a very negative situation, into a positive one. This has been a growing experience for me and a period of self-awakening. I hope you can see that. I think some of you have. I also hope I have clarified any misconceptions.

Sincerely,
MSK