The World Is Listening

For reasons of plot you have been given an opportunity to address live a global audience, basically everyone who is able will be tuned in and will be listening intently, you will not be interrupted until you finish and it is not anonymous.

So…what do you say? Something inspiring and uplifting? Something pithy but memorable? Or…?

taps the mike

ABORTIONS FOR ALL!

…or some such nonsense.

There are very fine people, on both sides!

Peace on Earth, good will to all.

Or

Bite me!

or

Get a life!

Live and let live!

Words to live by! :p:p

Is this thing on?

I’m currently reading The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu. The main plot line uses a similar situation - aliens bent on conquering Earth are natural telepaths send sophons (extra-dimensional quanti grown to Moon size) to Earth, so they can hear everybody’s conversations and know what Earth is planning to combat the invasion. So, the UN appointed 4 people to plan what to do without telling anybody what they were doing, and unlimited access to resources.

So based on that scenario, anything you say to the world could potentially have some deadly repercussions, no matter what you say. So, may as well say something that’s utter nonsense and let the world puzzle out what you really mean.

Be excellent to each other.

14 K of G in a F P D

Buy my book!

It’s great! Trust me!

It’s chaos. Be kind.

Please remit 1% of your assets to me by the most expedient means possible. Please and thank you.

I suspect that the world would learn how many children’s songs I know. May as well make it interesting for - - well, I guess it would only be the kids that know English. Is there video? Some of the songs have hand movements.

I would say the word “fuck” over and over and over again until I couldn’t say it any more, then finish up with “Now that we’ve gotten THAT out the way…”

Bababooey! Bababooey!

“God ain’t gonna fix what humans are perfectly capable of fixing themselves. So get it together people.”

I would provide an address to send money.

Then say something that would encourage people to send the money.

With that large of an audience, you are sure to get some takers. No matter what you say. And if you have a good song, you could reap bunches of cash.

NOW BATTING… FOR PEDRO BORBON… MANNY… Manny… Manny…MOTA…Mota…Mota.

I have a text file with a collection of about 50 great quotes. I’d just read that. The catch: Great people have already said those things, and the world doesn’t seem to have been listening, even to them.

“Despite the constant negative press covfefe”

“I never thought I’d be the sort of person who comes up with something inspiring and original when addressing the population of the earth… and I was right.”