So my English teacher told me today that she doesn’t have my reading journal, which I handed in “late”, but still several weeks earlier than most people in my class. It’s the end of the school year. My English teacher (Smith) left at the end of term 1 to have a baby. Another teacher (Jones) came in. He was supposed to stay for the rest of the year. Smith came back early, at the beginning of term 4. I left my journal in Jones’ pigeon hole during exam break thinking he’d get it. But now Smith is back and nobody knows where my journal’s off to, only that I need to hand it in to pass English. Which is stupid, since I’ve already handed it in, got it back, then handed it in AGAIN and apparently nobody thought to record my mark. So I go off to the head of department to sort things out, and I tell her that I handed in my journal during the holidays but WAIT! THE ENGLISH CORRIDOR WASN’T ACCESSIBLE DURING THE HOLIDAYS! THAT MAKES ME A LIAR AND AN OPPORTUNIST! I NEVER HAD A READING JOURNAL! I’M JUST TRYING TO SCAB MARKS! AND I WOULD HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT TOO IF IT WEREN’T FOR HER 50-YEAR-OLD ASS!
… geez, exam break basically is holidays. I’m sorry I made a slip while recalling events from a month ago. :rolleyes: Everyone knows that if you make a mistake 2 seconds into your explanation you’re automatically lying and anything you say in the next 10 minutes is invalid and an attempt to cover your lie. After being interrupted for the 5th or so time I lose my patience and ask her to LISTEN to what I’m saying. Oh you stupid child! Adults don’t have to listen! She kicks me out of her office 
Oh, and then there is my history teacher, who is not a complete cow like the English head, but has screwed me over (unintentionally… I think) with my exam marks FOUR TIMES. This isn’t a complaint about him. The reason I get screwed is because I’m destined to get screwed. That’s what I think. How else can you explain this? In my semester 1 exam I get 46/60. I have no idea how I managed to get 46/60 on a history exam. I didn’t choose history and I do horribly in it. But there it is, 46/60. Undeniably. In red pen.
It gets recorded as 46% :\
So I tell him about the mistake, and he fixes it, and I get a new report card printed, and all is fine and well until my year coordinator calls me up about remedial history classes and points out that I should probably take them since I got 46% on my last exam. Wait, what? I run down to the office and ask for another report card, pretending I lost my last one. So they give me one. And I check my exam mark. And it is. 46. Percent.
Dude, WTF? 
I thought I had that fixed! I chase up my teacher again. He changes it again. So all is well and good, until I get my exam percentage for this semester…
27%
Lather, rinse, repeat. headdesk
— Intermission (yeah, there’s more to come) —
Oh look, clowns.
Oh look, penguins
Okay, back to the story
Continuing with my “I bear a mark of DOOOOM” theory, I present to you the story of my second chemistry test. Last semester my chemistry exam mark was some 10% higher than my class mark, which was mystifying, but I chalked it up to my not handing in assignments and vowed to work harder next semester. Today my teacher gave us breakdowns of our semester marks.
Semester 1 test 2: 0%
ARRRRGHHH. That test was 25 freaking percent of my class mark. NOW everything is clear. Sort of. I still have no idea WHY I got a 0, especially since that was the redox/electrolysis test, aka The Only Test Csharpmajor Did Well On That Semester. My teacher goes looking for my test and doesn’t find it. So what happened? One of two possibilities.
Possibility One: I accidentally took the test home after getting it handed back. We’re not supposed to take them home. We only get them back to look at, then we have to hand them in again. Could I have taken it home and left it there?
Possibility Two: Early in this year I had a bad habit of going to the wrong class to take my chem tests. I took test 2 with another teacher’s class. It might have got lost in the system that way.
I think possibility one is more likely than possiblity two. Which means I’m screwed, since it’s not in my house anywhere, it’s from 6 freaking months ago, and I probably threw it out at the end of the last semester. But if the second possibility happened then I’m still screwed, because the teacher I left it with is the one I had last year, the biggest flake in the school, who LOST MY END OF YEAR EXAM and nearly got me failed but for the other teacher who found it 2 weeks later.
Interesting how it’s only my tests that get lost. Huh. So I’m getting the same mark for chem that I’ve been expecting the whole year, except now I get to live with the knowledge that it could have been 10% higher if I’d paused at a certain test during my end of semester bag-cleaning routine and said “Huh, this looks like it could be important.” Because here’s the other thing: I got no mark recorded for a major test, and NOBODY BOTHERED TO TELL ME. If someone had said “Hang on, you’ve got a zero here,” at ANY time last semester I could have pulled the test out of my bag and handed it to them. Even today, the teacher didn’t TELL me I got a zero, I noticed it while looking through my marks and had to point it out to him. It could just as easily have gone unnoticed. And maybe it would have been better that way, since there’s nothing I can do about this. It was the test I studied hardest for the whole year, and it SHOWED in the mark I got. Except I never got that mark. And I can’t even prove I TOOK the test, since it was period 0 and we don’t take attendance for period 0.
I would love to say this sort of thing is uncommon for me, but it isn’t. It’s happened TONS of times. Like last year, with the unholy mother of a French exam that nobody got over 80% for (this was back in year 11, when it was actually possible to get over 80% on a French exam). I got 74%. Had I not missed the writing question worth 20% of the paper (there were 3 questions, we were asked to answer 2), I would have duxed the subject. Because, gawd, the highest mark anyone got was 77%, and I only needed 3/10 for that question to get 80%. I could have pulled a bunch of sentences worth 3 marks out of my ASS in seconds. IF I had seen the damn thing. Alas, no. You see? Fate hates me. If anyone wants to dispute this I have plenty MORE stories to share.
Young teachers I get on fine with, and older male ones are great too, but the ancient women teachers seem to have a hatred-of-csharpmajor chip built into their brains, and the English department has more of them than any other. The head of department had NEVER EVEN TALKED to me before, and she started calling me a liar 10 seconds into our first conversation :S I just don’t get it. Am I naturally offensive or is it just menopause?