People who stand there while everything is rung up (clerks bag your stuff here as they ring it) but look so surprised when they hear the total due, then start looking for their money, checkbook, or credit card. It’s as if they didn’t realize money played a part in the transaction.
And irrational to boot. Now I want pie.
i) People who don’t bring pie.
Chicken-shit oozing through your toes when you took your chances going barefoot to the coop to collect the eggs on a wet day.
That’s gotta rate up there as one of the worst I reckon.
- Oxymorons.
Things that are awesome: - People who get numbering conventions back on track.
- I concur!
I have 2 lawns, and there’s some kind of invisible animal digging holes for me. I appreciate its help.
i[sup]i[/sup]) People who don’t keep it real.
But I also know what’s one of the best things in the world: quoting someone else and having nested quotes automatically turn out right. When did that happen?
People who go just slow enough that they’re in your way and just fast enough that you can’t get around them. Extra hate points if they had to rush to get in front of you.
If only those people at the tops of esscalators and standing in front of subway doors had been part of some college work groups they wouldn’t be so damned self centered.
It has been 27 years since I last attended school, and the flame over this still burns as if it were yesterday. God, I fucking hated group projects.
Oh come on, if nobody ever did this we wouldn’t have had that great commercial from a few (all right, more than a few) years back where those bozos were deciding between toilet paper and beer.
What a bunch of wimps! A crushed beer can is just as good as a wad of Charmin!
XXI. People who cannot tell the difference between crushed beer cans and Charmin.
27 -The small stone at the center of the ball of your foot as you step from a gravel drive to concrete when barefoot.
I suppose its different for chicks, and those that may as well be.
(N+1)[SUP]2[/SUP] Math
Earbuds obviously aren’t ideal headphones, but it’s pretty fucking inconvenient to carry around a pair of ginormous noise-canceling headphones everywhere you go, as you apparently do. Most of us just can’t carry that shit with us but still like to be able to listen to music on the go. Hence, earbuds are the solution. They fit in your pocket. And yeah, they get nasty wax in them but at least it’s only your earwax. It’s not like I share them with anyone else.
42.5 Squatters - I’m looking at you Mr Bus Guy
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People who stop, talk, loiter, or do anything stationary in the middle of doorways.
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Pairs of doors for which 1 door is always locked.
And then stare at you like a cow in a field when you walk right up to them - hello, you’re standing in front of a door. I know expecting you to extrapolate from my actions and chew your cud at the same time is expecting a lot, but you are standing in a doorway - it’s not a really big leap to assume that I walked up to you to USE this door.
1338a. Especially if it’s not marked.