Since the vast majority of sitcoms are so formulaic they could be written by a computer program, why not write your own? It could only be as bad as the Bonnie Franklin show or the new John Ritter show.
Let’s assume you are the main character. Choose from the following standard sitcom options to create your own show:
You are:
a. A writer whose home doubles as your office.
b. The harried central member of a dysfunctional family.
c. A slightly naive, fresh-faced newbie going to work in an office full of cynical, disgruntled, “zany” co-workers.
d. A teenager/ twenty-something who spends most of your time rehashing your angst-ridden, neurotic and brief romantic relationships with your friends.
e. A thirty- or forty-something who is starting life all over again after having been a washout in some previous occupation/relationship.
The principle setting is:
a. The kitchen of your middle-America home.
b. The ridiculously hip & trendy, impossibly large apartment in the downtown area of a major metropolitan city.
c. The cubicle-less office space for some form of media publication.
d. The bar/coffee shop/diiner where you and your regular circle of friends spend virtually every minute of your life.
Your love interest is:
a. Your wife/girlfriend, who is inexplicably devoted to you despite the fact that she is much better looking than you, smarter than you, and must always bail you out of the whacky sitcom dilemmas you get yourself stuck in.
b. Your husband/boyfriend, whom you are inexplicably devoted to, despite the fact that he is a beer-bellied, slovenly, befuddled shlub who perpetually finds himself in whacky sitcom dilemmas, of which you must bail him out.
c. Your boss/ co-worker with whom you have a love/hate relationship.
d. You have a new “special guest star” love interest every week, frequently portrayed by some super-model/ superstar actor whom you would have no chance with in real life.
e. None, you are gay or lesbian, and the writers will perform mental cartwheels coming up with ways to explain away the fact that you never, never, EVER have a serious, onscreen romantic or sexual interest.
Your sidekicks, co-stars are (pick 2 options):
a. Your next-door neighbor.
b. Your parents.
c. Your coworkers.
d. Your long-time best-friend(s).
e. Your sibling.
f. Your children.
g. Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
h. A gay/lesbian friend.
Assign the following traits to each of your co-stars (one for each):
a. Randy and oversexed.
b. Screechy and annoying.
c. Whacky and zany.
d. Hectoring and smothering.
e. Wise and supportive.
f. Gruff but lovable.
g. Lacks self-esteem and needs lots of encouragement.
h. Stoned/ stupid.
i. Wisecracking and sarcastic.
(OPTIONAL) Your high-concept twist is:
a. Your love interest has magical powers.
b. You have gone back in time to your own past.
c. The show is set in a particularly nostalgic time period.
d. Each week features a guest-star “visiting relative” who suffers from a currently fashionable disease/social ill.
e. You often break out of character to directly speak to the studio audience.
Some standard sitcom plots to get your first shows started:
a. You’re trapped in an elevator with a woman in labor.
b. You and your sidekick hatch a hairbrained scheme.
c. There is a misunderstanding concerning sex.
d. People mistakenly think you are gay, and you become paranoid over all the stereotypical “gay things” you suddenly realize you do.
e. A Very Special Episode in which a social ill is mentioned.
f. A big-name star somehow appears in your life.
Go nuts. If enough people like it, we’ll come up with rules for a “Write your own Star Trek” spin-off game.