I realize this is not remotely original or anything. But fuck this fucking year!!!
From people who have been incredibly important to this community dying–just seemingly dropping dead out of the fucking blue–to global pandemics, and economic depressions, and the cops murdering people, and civil unrest because the cops keep murdering people, and giant Saharan dust storms, and plagues of locusts, and “murder hornets”. Also, the continuing dumpster fire of the Trump Administration, and the rise of nationalist assholes all over the planet, and Brexit (a friend of mine–an English ex-pat living here in America–observed the other day [on Zoom, of course, because no one can actually get together for ordinary social events any more, because fuck 2020!]–that it’s weird how fucking Brexit has just dropped off everyone’s radar)–I though about not mentioning any of the more political stuff; but fuck that! The incompetence of the worthless fuckers in charge all over the world has just made everything so much worse!
I mean, there’s a degree of gallows humor in this, in how many god-damned things seem to be happening all at once, and you know, the “murder hornets” thing is more just a silly Internet thing, like the spate of “scary clowns” everyone was talking about–I dunno? a thousand years ago?–but seriously: If a year could have some kind of sensitive orifice into which something large and spiky could be forcibly shoved, then 2020 would be the year that would need to get it, good and hard. I’m sure the human race has had worse years, but god damn am I tired of this fucking year already.
And it’s only July 2.
And fuck you, Discourse! This topic isn’t remotely similar to any of those other topics!
That would turn a dumpster fire of a year into a fucking apocalypse. I think I’m just going to think good thoughts and convince myself (unconvincingly) that Trump is facing near-certain defeat. Gotta salvage something from this shitshow year.
As this year has gradually become more and more of an all you can eat shit sandwich I have done all I could to keep my shit together and stay upbeat that things simply MUST get better. And then I come in here tonight and see that TubaDiva has suddenly passed away. I suppose it speaks to how important she was to this community and how much her kindness and steady hand getting us all through the recent transition has meant that this is the moment where I have finally lost my shit and sobbed.
Fuck you 2020.
Yeah. I won’t say it was “the straw that broke the camel’s back”–someone’s death is more than just a straw–but no doubt about it, Jenny’s death was what triggered me start this thread to say: Fuck YOU, 2020!!!
This times two. In addition to the above, I’ve lost friends to death, I’ve damn near lost my business, and I’ve lost interest in a number of things I’d otherwise care about attending, because they’ve all been cancelled. I’d like to say, “we’ve hit bottom, and the only way to go is up,” but when do we get to go up?
Honestly, I’ve come to believe it’s all about COVID. It’s so serious and so widespread in its implications that it taints everything else. If it weren’t for COVID, I don’t think all of the other bad things would feel nearly as overwhelming right now for most.
