There and RO'd Again: Kermit, TX and the One Ring of Power

If you like clicking on links, have a look-see, if you don’t, the quotes below are from the linked article.

OK, wow. This is right up there with banning Harry Potter because of witchcraft. I may not have done exactly this, but I did a wide variety of just-as-silly things when I was in 4th grade and never wound up hurting anyone. I wasn’t suspended either.

Ah! So a troublemaker, right? This was just the latest in a long string of disruptive activities from a problem kid and the teachers and principal were just exasperated, right? Tell me that’s it, right?

Hm. I am underwhelmed by this child’s trouble-making ability.

It’s hard to imagine a scenario where the school is in the right here. So fuck them, as tradition demands at least one swear in the Pit.
On the other hand, the school seems to be prevented by policy from telling its side of the story - so this could be a completely made-up thing and it’s possible the NY Daily News didn’t talk to any of the classmates to verify the story.

Still, WTF?

Kid just needs to start threatening kids in Elvish.

I heard this on the radio and was astonished. The kid was suspended from school for bringing a children’s encyclopedia that had a picture of a pregnant woman?

Unless there’s a lot more to this, the school administrators are batshit insane.

Eca, a mitta lambetya cendelessë orcova!

Condoleezza and Mitt feast on lambeth and killer whale?

I assure you, good sir, that goat was of age in the jurisdiction in which I was found with her, and none of those implements were banned until the following spring!

“You nasty thing from beyond the dead: no matter what you think or do, good things will never come to you. And if evil is your black design, you can bet the goodness of the light ones will kick your bad behind.”

TCB, baby.

The fact that this occurred in Texas explains it all. Welcome to South Stupid. Rick Perry will be your guide.

Bricker did it better. I’d link, but I’ve been drinking. Never drink and link.

Fuck The Man! I do what I want! The One Ring located in Kermit, Texas - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board

He did it to the exact same story and with a better title too. Damn Fool of a Took! He’ll attract the Ringwraiths in no time.

Well, that takes the wind out of the thread’s sails - we’ll never get to Aman now.

It’s for the best, really. Oh, sure, at first carrying the One Ring is all fun and merry japes, but soon enough it’s talking to oneself in the third person and chomping people’s fingers off… Kids, just say NO to Rings of Power.

This is stupid, everyone knows the One Ring’s invisibility powers are defensive and not offensive.

Like, you never see a real one in public?!

Wow, that’s so Texas of them.

Orc, not goat. And the implement was your tongue. Which you may have gotten banned in some jurisdiction, I suppose. :cool:

A chidren’s encyclopedia? Nope, I thought they were myth.

And “referring to a classmate as black”? Can they be any more vague?

It was, apparently, actually a black classmate.

I assumed it was something like, “…and then there’s Bob.” “Who’s Bob?” “The black kid!”

Hey, using the Black Speech in public is just as bad!Did he learn it from the Ring?

Penny Arcade weighs in on the issue.