The One Ring located in Kermit, Texas

As many of you know, Isildur’s Bane, AKA The One True Ring, the method by which Sauron planned to subjugate the wielders of the other Rings to his will, was thought to have been finally destroyed after falling, along with Gollum and part of Frodo’s finger, into the Crack of Doom, thereby ending Sauron’s mad quest for power.

However, all was not as it seems. Unbeknownst to the commentators of Middle Earth, the One True Ring survived that event and somehow ended up in the possession of Aiden Steward, a fourth grade student in Kermit, Texas. Aiden brought the Ring to school and advised a classmate that he could use the ring to make the classmate invisible. Alarmed at the prospect of a fourth grader wielding the kind of power that turned Smeagol into Gollum, school officials acted swiftly and decisively in the face of this evident threat.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, “Whew. That was close.”

*One Ring to Rule them All
One Ring to Find them
One Ring to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them.

In the land of Texas, where the Shadows Lie.*

As stupid as it sounds, the school did the right thing. If you allow this kid to continue bringing this Ring to school eventually the Nazgul are going to show up. Then you have to give all of the girls swords. It just starts an unholy arms race, best to eliminate the problem quickly.

Having been to Texas, if there’s a place where orcs are goblins reign, it’s there.

:slight_smile:

Must be the 5th Age.

Of course, the Tolkien Estate needs to get involved here.

The school administration is batshit insane. But of course, this is Texas.

The kid was previously suspended for bringing a book that contained a drawing of a pregnant woman. :eek:

And I dearly loved this statement from the father: “I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence”.

Would’ve been ever better if he’d added

“much to my dismay”

Well, of course he would say that – he’s the kid’s father.

Doesn’t mean it’s accurate.

Priceless.

The kid has good parents, at least.
ETA: Looks for The Ring to make ninja CalMeacham disappear. Oops, I guess that’s a threat. [braces for mod-whack] :slight_smile:

Will it later come back to haunt me if I fail to condemn this outrageous over-reach of power? In an abundance of caution, I hereby decry the actions of Principal Roxanne Greer and the Kermit Independent School District! Sheesh, what a batch of dumbasses!

P.S. – Did anybody tell them their school district is named after a frog? And one that hews to a rather egalitarian worldview, at that!

(Today I have done my part to defeat the evil forces of liberal hypocrisy! Yay me!)

Why didn’t the teacher just challenge him to some riddles, with the ring as a prize? Surely a teacher knows better riddles than some 5th grader.

Maybe it’s just me but I don’t want a teacher asking “What has it got in its nasty little pocketses?”

The school has a worse grip on reality then the kid with a magic ring.

Pity he can’t make that school disappear. That is one fugly building.

Half the time with stories like these, the parents go to the media and completely misrepresent the actual reason for the disciplinary action. The other half of the time, the school is overreacting over something dumb and the parents are only slightly misrepresenting the actual reason for the disciplinary action. If we’ve learned nothing from the dozens of RO stories that have come before this, it’s to either withhold judgement until the other side comes out, or to ignore clickbait articles.

I’m trying to figure out the first suspension. The one for “referring to a classmate as black”.

I just re-read the article and it doesn’t say he was going to destroy his classmate, he was going to put the magic ring on him and turn him invisible. Who wouldn’t want that?

I remember a bit in Skyrim where a little kid sees you cast a spell and runs up and asks if you can turn him invisible. One of the conversational options is “Umm… okay. Poof! You’re invisible!” and he runs off, giddy with happiness. Go figure.

When I think back to grade school in the 60s and the things we did and said, it’s a wonder we’re not all serving life sentences.

I suspect that all these stories we hear about ridiculous overreactions by school administrations are more the result of wider reporting (and, as **steronz ** points out, misreporting) than any actual increase in the percentage of such incidents; at least I hope that’s the case.

I know everyone’s going to get mad at me for suggesting it, but instead of suspending him, the school district could have just had the Eagles come and take the Ring away from him.

Lord of the Muppets?

When I read this story 15 minutes ago, I used my google-fu powers (on Bing, nonetheless) and found the telephone number for the school. I immediately telephoned the school and asked for Principal Greer, who was unavailable as she was in the school cafeteria. I kid you not. I then asked the school secretary to convey to Principal Greer that those of us in California were really proud of her. I think that the good people of Texas have found their next governor.

We really ought to get a kickstarter campaign going so that this kid can find afford a private school that is operated by Texas non-natives.