There are plenty of fish in the sea -- but sometimes it doesn't feel like it

[Robot_Arm]

@elmwood

Maybe NYC isn’t the best fit for you. Maybe you’ll do better in Chicago, Denver, or Seattle, or even someplace like Madison or Eugene.

I’d like to put in a vote for Boston.

[dogbutler]

@Cheshire_Human

@Mississippienne

Re: older men, I am not averse to the idea of dating men a bit older than I am, but a gigantic age gap doesn’t appeal to me for various reasons. I would actually prefer someone around 30-35, but we don’t always get what we want.

Is 47 too old? How about a date?

Geezer! I’m 39 and single.

[JThunder]

@Starving_Artist

@Mississippienne

Thanks, but there are any number of beautiful young women in this city, so just possessing a face and youth doesn’t get me that far. I feel like I’ve got a cute personality and a lot to offer the right guy – I just don’t get given a chance. I also have the issue that I’m introverted (INTP, in case you know your MBTI) and I came to the realization a while ago that I need someone a little more outgoing than me, or else the relationship never goes anywhere. If I meet similarly introverted geeky guys, we tend to sit in uncomfortable silence. They can’t make eye contact, and I’m not extroverted enough to pull them out of their shells.

Three points:

One: Yes, there are lots of beautiful young women in almost every city but they are still far outnumbered by those who aren’t. Probably seven or eight of every ten women in town are less attractive than you, maybe more.

My guess is that she’s easily more attractive than nine out of ten.

[Kyla]

All right, I’ve started the thread. Go find love, my pretties. Shoo, go do it.

[Miller]

This is really more MPSIMSish than Pit material.

[Animastryfe]

@elmwood

Type A granola? San Francisco.

What is a type A granola?

[raspberry_hunter]

@Mississippienne

Thanks, but there are any number of beautiful young women in this city, so just possessing a face and youth doesn’t get me that far. I feel like I’ve got a cute personality and a lot to offer the right guy – I just don’t get given a chance. I also have the issue that I’m introverted (INTP, in case you know your MBTI) and I came to the realization a while ago that I need someone a little more outgoing than me, or else the relationship never goes anywhere. If I meet similarly introverted geeky guys, we tend to sit in uncomfortable silence. They can’t make eye contact, and I’m not extroverted enough to pull them out of their shells.

I’m an INTP and have never had any trouble finding introverted guys… because I’ve been lucky and my interests are such that I am usually in situations where the guy-to-girl ratio has been strongly in my favor. It also has the advantage that in these situations I have something to talk about with the guys, thus getting rid of the uncomfortable silences (even introverts are happy to talk about things they’re really excited about). I very very strongly recommend this.

The best way, hands-down, is to go to grad school in a highly geeky subject like math or physics. Assuming that’s not one of your big interests, other possibilities include a) finding through any means whatsoever an engineer (is one of your co-workers married to one? Do you know someone (a teacher?) who knows the child of an engineer? Do you have a friend of a friend who’s an engineer?) and getting introduced to all the people that engineer knows, some of whom I guarantee you will be single men. b) I was in a lapidary society that was filled with men (mostly older, but with the occasional young single man). c) taking a class that involves machinery or tools (our local community college has woodworking, auto repair, some other things). d) SF societies/conventions, if you like scifi and are okay with seriously geeky people… I could talk about books for hours, and I’m really really strongly introverted on the MB scale.

I’ll try to think of some more, especially if you give me some indication of what your actual interests are; those are the ones I came up with off the top of my head. I know several single guys from each one of those things who would LOVE to meet a girl like you.

[Try2B_Comprehensive]

@Animastryfe

@elmwood

Type A granola? San Francisco.

What is a type A granola?

Smokes pot but can do math?

The op lives in New York? That could be the explanation. New York seems like a place that is a great place to get a date if you’re a guy, but not so much if you are a chick. There seems to be a shortage of single men there. I have only spent a little time there myself, but I was surprised at how, erm, lonely the women seemed and how much attention I could get just minding my own business. Other people have said the same thing. Anyone care to affirm/deny this?