So we are on the southeast coast of Florida, and we have Wilma coming. It’s looking like it will be a Cat 1 or 2 when it reaches us, so it’s not a huge deal, but it is smart to take some basic precautions.
Which we have. We have put the hurricane shutters across the windows, stocked up on supplies, and arranged for a place on the mainland to stay if things get very bad (they have not evacuated the barrier islands, where we live).
And we did one other thing. We live in a condo complex consisting of two two story buildings. We live in the south building. As the storm is coming from the southwest, we moved our cars around to the north side of the north building, to be out of the wind and protected from falling limbs, flying debris, etc. In fact, to be extra safe, we pulled our cars up as close to the north side of the building as we could.
And herein lies the problem. The parking spaces are away from the buildings, so where we are parked is in the driveway. We felt justified in doing this for two reasons. First, we carefully placed our cars so that there was ample room to drive around them. Second, only three of the twenty units in our condo are currently occupied, and the cars of the other two tenants are already parked for the storm and had no problem getting around our cars. One of the other tenants told us it was good thinking to park our cars there.
But not the other tenant. Hank, our 120-y.o. neighbor called to complain. His arguments were compelling:
[ol]
[li]We were breaking a rule;[/li][li]The place to park was between the white lines;[/li][li]The garbage truck would not be able to get around our cars; and[/li][li]the roofers would not be able to get around our cars.[/li][/ol]
All compelling arguments. Well, there are a few flaws in the arguments. Ya see, there’s a hurricane coming. The garbage men are not coming tomorrow. The roofers are not coming tomorrow. They may come on Tuesday (although garbage day is FRIDAY), but we will have moved our cars by Tuesday.
But Hank disagrees. You see, according to him, the roofers may well be hard at work tomorrow, standing on the slanted roof in 100 mph winds. The garbage men may decide to leave their secure homes and swing around for a second, unscheduled garbage pick-up in howling winds and driving rain tomorrow.
Hank, listen. If you want to come at me with the old “I’m a crazy old man, and I demand you obey the rules regardless of the circumstances,” I’d respect that. I’d ignore it, but I’d respect it. But, Hank, darling, you’re lying. No one is coming tomorrow. Everyone is hunkered down. The fact that you had to lie demonstrates to me that you know that you are being a pathetic loon.
So, dear Hank, lodge your complaint with the condo board. I look forward to defending myself, and having you committed to the loony bin.
Sua
and this is bad because…