Last night on the news . . .
“The World Health Organization has listed nine deaths from severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS . . . The incubation period for SARS appears to be three to seven days. It often begins with a fever of over 100 degrees and other flu-like symptoms, such as headache and sore throat. Victims typically develop coughs, pneumonia, shortness of breath and other breathing difficulties. Death results from respiratory failure. But there is no need to panic . . .”
“New Yorkers who shrugged at the rainbow of terror alerts and smirked at the duct tape frenzy say that, this time, the threat of terror seems more real than before. The city’s $5 million-per-week security plan includes heavily armed patrols, bomb-sniffing dogs in subways, police checkpoints at bridges and tunnels, and military air patrols. But as he announced a security plan that is unprecedented in scope, Mayor Michael Bloomberg also urged New Yorkers to go about their business. There is no need to panic . . .”
I wish they would stop telling me not to panic. If I want to goddam panic, I will panic, and I’d like to see them try and stop me! I can panic like nobody’s business . . .
NEW YORK (AP) - The New York Police Department has stepped up security outside major television news outlets in Manhattan to prevent possible takeovers by terrorists who may want to broadcast anti-American messages.
—Do they really think they could do any worse than FOX?
[John Cleese] The engines are NOT on fire. I repeat, the engines are NOT on fire. Thank you. Hah, that ought to get them wondering. [/John Cleese]
Please tell me this is a joke.
Eh. i’ve always been of the opinion that if its going to happen its going to happen - nothing that can be done about it and panicking is only going to make you look silly when it doesn’t happen.
We brits smile smugly at you cuh-razy Americans and your ability to panic/get worked up about things like this.
(although we do, of course, reserve the right to scream and panic if something does happen… )
I’m really big on panic. A couple days after 9/11 my son, my husband’s ex-wife, and I were sitting around mourning the victims and some dude tried to take over a flight coming into O’Hare. The air force jets scrambled and made a sonic boom (the likes of which I haven’t heard since GRADE SCHOOL!) that shook our house. We thought we were being bombed at and freaked out. Well, my husband just thought that was the funniest thing ever! “Don’t panic! Don’t panic!” Fuck you, don’t panic! I’m panicky and you’re gonna have to deal with it.
Besides, when I see all those security people in uniform with weapons and shit…I don’t think I’m supposed to be feeling all warm and fuzzy. I’m supposed to feel like something’s coming down.
Saying there is no need to panic is not saying you don’t have to.
You can panic all you want to, Eve, for all the good it will do you.
That is to say, it muct be the Brit in me but I agree with garius.
Of course, I panic in a stately, ladylike way. When the bombs go off, I glare at them haughtily through my lorgnette and go, “well, really!”
How do we know SARS isn’t something concocted by terrorists ?
How do we know those terrorists aren’t connected to Saddam ?
Unless Saddam can prove he isn’t connected to SARPS in any way, while bending over and being roughly lubricated with a rusty scaffolding pole, I think we should invade on the morrow … wait …
And why isn’t it called S-ARSE ?
As only you can, deary. Even the most fanatical terrorist would wilt before your indignation.
C’mon London_Calling, Hussein must be guilty since he can’t prove his innocence. That’s the way our system of jurisprudence works. Oh wait, no it isn’t. But at least our government has shown a preponderance of evidence that they’ve been naughhty. Oh, no on that one also. Well, he did, allegedly, try and kill George’s daddy. That’s grounds enough for a Texan.
Is it only me, or does this 48 hour ultimatum smack a little too much of old Westerns where the good guy would give the bad guy a certain amount of time to “git out of town”. I think GW was watching too many Turner Classic movies over the weekend.
Ladylike? Not me! I duck and cover EVEN IN A DRESS!
Then start expecting ultimatums pretty soon from Eve as well.
Well, I have different tastes than G.W.—I was watching The Smiling Lieutenant. So I would just advise Hussein to “Jazz Up Your Lingerie.”
Now, that’s an ultimatum I think we all can live with.
I’d kind of like to see Mr. Hussein “Jazz up his lingerie”… I’ll bet it’s camouflage.
As for panicking, I don’t panic about bombs and guns and death and terror. The prospect of those things doesn’t phase me at all. I jsut figure I’ll deal with it when it happens. I wonder if that’s maybe un-American of me. I didn’t realize we Yanks had a reputation for mass-hysteria, as garius suggests, but maybe we do. Oh, well.
Not to say I’m totally anxiety-free; I panic about not being able to find a parking space, or losing my keys, or being late for a meeting.
When in trouble
When in doubt
Run in circles
Scream and shout.
Dammit, Eve, you sound like a whiny kid on a long car trip: "Daddy, when are we gonna panic? Can I panic yet? How long til I can panic? When are we gonna panic? Is it panic time yet? . . . "
We’re going to panic when it’s time to panic, and not a moment before. Not one more word from you about panic, young lady, until you’re told it’s panic time. If I hear anything more about panic, I’m gonna stop this war right here and leave you by the side of the road with Tom Ridge.
Well, we have a pestilence rising in Asia…a war pending in the Middle East. . . .so that’s two of the Four Horsemen of the Apolcalypse. I wonder’s what’s keeping Famine?