There's a balrog in my office

Boom! Boom!

The earth is shaking. My water bottle looks like that cup from Jurassic Park. Orcs and other dark creatures are coming out from behind my filing cabinet and fleeing into the darkness. Or possibly the company cafeteria.

Boom! Boom!

It’s coming closer. The dark demon of the underdeep (read: New 5 level underground parking garage) is stirring. Wow. It’s close!

Boom! Boom!

Any wizards on this board? Need answer fast.

Does it have wings?

You shall not park!!

[Gandalf] Didn’t I ever tell you about Balrogs? Balrogs bounce![/Yukon Cornelius]

Ball Hog!
It’s Lebron James. Throw him some glasses without lenses.

If your office is not ablaze, then it ain’t a balrog. You probably have a garden variety cave troll.

Fly you fool.

Smeghead Likes this.

I think it has a jackhammer.

Oh, it’s supposed to be at our house, waterproofing our basement. They must have written down the wrong address.

I’ll send it over as soon as it’s done here. If all goes according to schedule, that will be less than 2 years.

And I intend to fly, you fools, but not until October. I still need to get a plane ticket.

A few nights ago I awoke to the sound of a jackhammer about 200 feet from my bed. At 2:00am. Apparently the convenience store which shares my property line had decided to re-do their parking lot, and didn’t want to lose business by doing it during the day.

The local police set them straight, thank Og!

As for your Balrog, try water? Balrogs are so hot, I’m guessing it would go straight to oxygen/hydrogen and a major explosion would ensue. Might just tear him up. Just throw it and run really fast, like in the action movies. Then dive behind a random piece of wooden furniture, that’ll protect you from the fireball. Uh huh.

Meh, not my type.

Good to have on your side in a bar fight though. . .

Heh. We had Balrogs resurfacing a public street about 200 feet away - jackhammers, those grotesquely noisy machines that grind road surfaces off, heavy vehicles beep-beep-beeping as they backed, the works. At midnight. As for the local police, they were directing traffic around them.

Calling a few select members of the California State Assembly had an effect - turns out the contractor had pinky-sweared that all noisy work would be done by 10 PM. Asking the foreman to please talk to Assembly Member such-and-such, on the Transportation Committee, had its moments.

But what really made my day was when one of their staffers was kind enough to give us the cell phone number of the main contractor. Somehow he felt it was very, very rude for us to call him in the middle of night, just because his work crew was keeping us awake in the middle of the night. I think he may have dropped us from his Christmas Card list. Yet miraculously, at 10 PM next night, the work stopped.

Hah! The system works!

Spiny Normans 1, Balrogs 0.

rofl :d

I wonder if cats are scared of balrogs? Luna, probably not. She’d go up to one and beg for food.

Figures. They said they’d be here last week, but do they come when they say they will? No, of course not. And did they tell us they were sending a balrog? Of course not. They just better not try to charge us extra for the balrog.

What are they doing sending a balrog to waterproof a basement, then? :eek:

I can tell you that they’d run out of this room pretty fast. I’m thinking about doing the same thing.

Fool of a Took!

My experience with cats and fire is that they slowly creep closer until you finally bar them from the room for fear that they’ll singe their fur.