They arrested Elvis for that ricin

[aceplace57]

Beware the revenge of Elvis.

@johnpost

Dutschke has been arrested.

[Marley23]

When people talk about turning the events of the last couple of weeks into movies- “Elvis impersonator tries to kill the president” sounds like a stupid, wacky farce. On the other hand “Disgruntled office seeker-karate master-possible pedophile tries to frame archenemy Elvis impersonator in a plot to kill the president after a dispute over a story about black market organs” needs to be the Coen Brothers’ next movie. How do we make this happen? Can we just take the money out of Zach Braff’s Kickstarter account and give it to Joel and Ethan?

[MEBuckner]

Ricin suspect ordered held without bond

Wearing an orange jumpsuit, his hands and feet shackled as he entered the room, Dutschke told Magistrate S. Allan Alexander that he understood what he had been charged with.

His attorney, George Lucas, told Alexander that they had not yet had time to go through the complaint.

Oh, great. Here comes the “Your Honor, the President of the United States tried to mail ricin to my client first” defense.

[Ludovic]

“But what is an Elvis Impersonator doing on Endor? It doesn’t make any sense!”

[mlees]

@Ludovic

“But what is an Elvis Impersonator doing on Endor? It doesn’t make any sense!”

Maybe it does… to a Sith!

Darth Elvis

[davidm]

@MEBuckner

Ricin suspect ordered held without bond

Wearing an orange jumpsuit, his hands and feet shackled as he entered the room, Dutschke told Magistrate S. Allan Alexander that he understood what he had been charged with.
His attorney, George Lucas, told Alexander that they had not yet had time to go through the complaint.

Oh, great. Here comes the “Your Honor, the President of the United States tried to mail ricin to my client first” defense.

Wait, wait wait… His attorney is named George Lucas? Seriously? Okay, someone is fucking with us.

[billfish678]

If the mitochlorians don’t fit you must aquit!

Makes sense it does.

[Freddy_the_Pig]

Before the exonerated Elvis impersonator, P. Kevin Curtis, fades back into oblivion, it’s worth spending a few minutes with his complaint about the hospital where he worked between 1998 and 2000. This was posted to a site called the Ripoff Report, which allows users to post rants about companies of which they disapprove, and was apparently written in late 2007.

After about a year and a half of employment, I questioned management about unfair employment practices & work ethics involving Hispanics, who did not speak English working excessive hours & off the clock each day, while non-hispanic’s were being sent home and/or written up for not having his/her “nametag”.

Oh goody, someone who misuses the apostrophe and the quote mark in the same sentence. I’m sure his complaint about the work ethic of Hispanics who worked too many hours (?) was entirely objective and well-founded.

Then he discovered body parts in the morgue, and was fired.

I researched court dockets & discovered thousands of lawsuits filed against this so-called “not-for-profit”, charity healthcare system. I went public with my story and lawsuit. I contacted various media outlets but was unable to get my story in print.

Gee, I wonder why.

3 Years of research lead to countless court battles, cops harassing me weekly, death threats, personal & financial losses, several thefts, my home burned down, car exploded, marriage dissolved & bankruptcy. You can imagine how helpless I felt the day I found out my attorney dropped my case & represented the very hospital I filed suit against?

That’s a bad sign, when your attorney gives up and flips sides. Again, I wonder why.

I sent letters to State Representative Roger Wicker, Senator Trent Lott and Thad Cochran. I never heard a word from anyone. I even ran into Roger Wicker several different times while performing at special banquets and fundraisers in northeast, Mississippi but he seemed very nervous while speaking with me and would make a fast exit to the door when I engaged in conversation leading up to my case against NMMC.

I understand that this Board does not like Republicans. I understand that it especially does not like Mississippi Republicans. But doesn’t Senator Wicker move up just a tick in your estimation after reading that?

I personally sent out more than a million emails in one year detailing what happened to me when I found the body parts at NMMC.

Oh goody, a spammer with a paranoid, psychotic rant. Can’t have too many of those!

This is Kevin Curtis and I approve this report.

This is Freddy the Pig and Kevin, you’re a world-class fruit loop. Glad you beat the ricin rap. Stay out of the morgue, and be nothin’ but a hound dog.

[Guinastasia]

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has just left the slammer!