I’m sure it got a little better when I moved away in the '90s.
I’ve only been to Seattle once, it was a lovely place, but I was only there for a short vacation. The vast majority of my interactions with the natives were with servers at restaurants who were perfectly nice but what would you expect from workers in the service industry? When I donated a few dollars to the Navy museum in Bremerton, it afforded me an opportunity to ring a bell. The nice old man behind the counter berated me, “Come on! If you’re going to ring it, ring it!” when I didn’t ring it loud enough to his satisfaction. But he was friendly admonishment as I really wanted ot ring the bell as loudly as possible but was hesitant to make noise in a museum.
A friend of mine lives in Seattle. We haven’t talked about the difficulties of making friends, but he did say it was the kind of place where an asshole would get in the left lane to block you if they thought you were going too fast.
It is pretty interesting that there is not a huge overlap between openness agreeableness.
“Minnesota nice” is a popular meme here. People say it and believe it, and to some extent I think it’s true. But I also think it hides an underlying hostility that emerges once they get behind the wheel of a car.
I had Chicago plates on my car while touring this area and I was flipped off more in one week than I had been in my entire life.
Like I said, they’re different critters behind the wheel. Very aggressive and downright dangerous.
People say it’s impossible to break into friend groups in Santa Barbara too if you moved here as a an adult. I make friends very easily and I know I would in Seattle too. I’d just go to a jam band concert at a club and I guarantee I’d have a couple of friends by the end of the night. Anyone who has some sort of hobby or interest should be able to make friends within that niche.
I think that people who can’t make friends in a new place don’t have outside hobbies. Of course I am not going to invite a new person to join the monthly lunch with three old friends who worked with me twenty years ago. If someone shares one of my avocations (in my case live music) and shows to the same events they’ll meet the gang. When you meet the gang, unless you’re a complete dick, you’ll particularly hit it off with a few of them and they’ll be friends beyond the thing you have in common.
Some people, certainly. Too many, I would agree. Unfortunately, those people are much louder than the ones who just want to get along; the latter, by their nature, are less likely to make the news, less likely to harangue others in the street, and less likely to vote. And that dark red “agreeableness” means that if they do vote…they’re likely to fall in line with the loudmouths, if only to avoid being shouted at.
“Southerners will be polite until they are angry
enough to kill you“
“Minnesota Nice” is an oxymoron, a.k.a., a passive-aggressive rudeness.
Well, yes. Your point being?
You’re dealing with an honor culture, which may be tricky if you’re a product of a dignity culture.
In an honor culture, being polite is an act of your own honor: Southerners will call the cashier “ma’am.” But they can be pushed only so far. Northerners value their own dignity, and the first time a Northern woman is addressed as “ma’am” she complains to the manager. But they don’t have that same line of death
I’ve heard “Minnesota Nice” means your neighbors are gracious to you on the sidewalk or in the store, but you won’t be invited into their house (but you might be pushed into the woodchipper, ala Fargo).
Is that an option?
A)Maybe that’s because you had Chicago plates, not because they were from WI/MN.
B)Maybe it was you.
D)Chicago plates?
Nit pick, I rented the car in Chicago, so Illinois plates. Funny that you pointed that out because while I was driving I mentioned to my girlfriend as to why we were getting flipped off, she said Chicago plates. I called her on it at the time, but it must have planted the seed…