tdn, you did the right and good thing. I once when on a ride-along with a San Diego police officer. One of the things he told me was that drunk women were much more likely to become violent than men. I didn’t believe him. Over the 12 hours I was with him we did 6 DUI stops. Three men, three women. All of the men did the field sobriety test, turned around when asked and accepted being hand cuffed. They all got into the car without incident. One was verbally abusive in the car, but the other two were quiet.
On the other hand, all three women refused to do the field test, all three shouted obcenities from the moment they were stopped. Two tried to kick the officer, one bit him. All three tried to kick their way out of the car. One, the biter, required back up to get her into the car.
I know that’s a small sample, but according to him and to the other officers I spoke with, that’s about how it goes most of the time.
A few months later, I was stopped after a Halloween party. I remembered my experience, and behaved like the lady I am. The CHP that stopped me commented on how unusual it was to deal with a calm, drunk woman.
BTW, that was in 1986, I haven’t gotten behind the wheel after even one glass of wine since then.
bbs2k, sorry to disappoint. But I did deliver a story about a seriously messed up chick. That’s got to count for something.
picunurse, that’s interesting, but somehow doesn’t surprise me. When she said she wanted to kill me, I almost had to keep myself from laughing. I’m pretty sure I could have taken her had it come to that. But the dynamic wasn’t like that at all, we were just two friends, sitting on the bench together, waiting for some more friends. For her to actually attack me would have been really irrational.
tdn, Middlebro got drunk once when he was 14, but not so drunk that he didn’t end up being the one carrying a semiunconscious friend to the Red Cross post that gets installed in Main Square during the town’s festivals. It’s the last time he’s had alcohol (except for a dunked Host now and then). For several years he took so many ambulance rides with friends, acquaintances or even guys he’d never met before, in diverse states of ethilic coma, that the EMT guys once told him “we were wondering if you were ok, not having seen you for two whole nights.”
Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Someone had to do what you did; I’m glad you were along to do it.
I do wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t come along just then. Surely someone would have seen her on the ground and helped? But it’s amazing how indifferent most people were. The people that just walked by and laughed really pissed me off.
tdn, thanks. For all the women who are too fucking stupid to realise that you’re a good guy and do what’s right and for all the guys that would laugh at you for not getting laid. Thanks!
Raped and murdered, no - but rape in her condition was probably as likely as hypothermia and death - very drunk college girl in college town is easy prey for a number of young men who really don’t understand consent.
The other one, that she’d sober up enough to find more liquor, enough to have her dead of alcohol poisoning - sounds like she may have been well on her way.
I had considered alcohol poisoning, but I was with her for (does quick calculation) what was probably a good hour when she wasn’t drinking. Assuming she didn’t get any more, was that even a danger?
I’m trying to figure out where the guilty feeling is coming from, and I don’t think it’s really guilt. Growing up, I watched a number of cautionary movies about teens and young adults ODing on marijuana or whatever, and ending up dying or getting raped or getting their stomachs pumped. Those always freaked me out, especially if the victim was of the female persuasion. I think seeing her on the stretcher brought a lot of that back up. And it probably didn’t help that I had just watched Almost Famous earlier in the day.
Well, speaking as someone who has been carried away kicking and screaming (in cuffs by the police to the loony bin) I can say that I was glad the person who made the call to do so did in retrospect (thanks mum), even though at the time I was begging not to be taken away.
Sure, it’s horrible being in such a situation but I’m glad someone did look out for my safety, and I was far better off being taken into hospital than I was at home going even more crazy (I’m not sure I’d describe a psychiatric evaluation holding area as hell, personally).
So definitely, tdn you did the right thing for the right reasons to help someone who needed it. The fact that she wasn’t able to say thank you at the time doesn’t mean she’s not saying it now (and even if she’s not, due possibly to being a fucked up person in general, it doesn’t mean your actions were any less well motivated and correct).
It may take her a while to be able to realize you helped her. In the mean time, her mom or whoever she has that loves and worries about her already knows it.
My understanding - no - if she didn’t find any more there wasn’t a danger. However, if you’d gotten her to a dorm room, she may have thought more drinking was a GREAT IDEA and then there would have been danger.
If she was as drunk as you say, she probably will wake up with no memory of how she got where she is now, and certainly won’t remember her rescuer. I just hope the folks who are taking care of her point out how close she came to dying of something unpleasant. Not that it’ll stop her if she’s a real alcoholic, but if she’s just an excessive partier, waking up in a locked room might begin to knock some sense into her.
In any case, I totally agree with everyone else that you did the right thing, from beginning to end. You stopped to help her, contacted the appropriate help, and stayed with her until you were sure she was in safe hands. All drunk young women in her condition should be so lucky as to have a guardian angel like you. Seriously, there were a couple of times in my misspent youth where it really would have been nice to have someone like you around. You not only earned massive karma points, but you help restore a little faith in the essential goodness of humanity in my cynical heart. At least for today.
I do wonder if she remembers me, or indeed any part of the night. If she woke up in a hospital bed, no doubt she realizes that something was slightly amiss.
I think part of what I feel weird about is that I detained her against her will. At least it was not forceful. It’s not like I grabbed her around the waist while she screamed “Let me go!” It was more like “Let’s just sit here and talk for a few more minutes.” The physical force I used was really very gentle. My will was unwavering. I think I conveyed the attitude that I was firmly in charge of the situation and that my way was going to win.
