One of my coworkers got in trouble for something that on the surface seems petty. Someone found out that she had her dog in one of the agency vehicles and told on her to the higher-ups. Don’t know the details of all the “trouble”, but her boss scolded her and made her feel quite small.
So now she’s mad at the tattle-tale, who’s identity is still unknown. “She’s just jealous of me”, she told me the other day. I asked why she would assume it was a “she” and her response was that only a woman would be vindicative enough to tattle on her.
I dunno. Just seems like an egotistical defense mechanism. “They’re just jealous of me!” just sounds mean. It assumes that there’s something about you worth being jealous about, and that if someone doesn’t like you, it’s because they want to be you, not because you’re really a bad person (not that my coworker is). I’ve heard this coworker suspecting her enemies of jealousy before, and I’m always thinking she’s got some balls for jumping to that conclusion. If I had gotten snitched on, jealousy would be the last thing I would suspect. I might suspect someone of hating me, but usually I’ll attribute it to irrational hatred.
Have you ever suspected people of jealousy? Have you ever blamed anyone of such? On the flip side, have you ever been jealous of someone? How did it manifest itself? Would you ever admit jealousy to someone? I’m wondering if my coworker would ever admit that she was jealous of someone, since she seems so aware of jealous vibes directed at her.
I’ve never said (or thought) that, maybe because up until about age 30 I didn’t find anything about myself worthy of others being envious of. This person sounds like she’s consoling herself with the thought. Reminds me of a saying my husband uses: “Superior man blames himself, inferior man blames others”.
Well, you might as well have titled this thread “I pit everyone who asnwers yes to this post”. What are the chances of anyone actually stepping forward and saying “me me!”
I’ve heard it said that, properly speaking, you’re jealous of what you have and envious of what other have (that you wish you did). Thus, one can be jealous of one’s spouse, or good looks - but one is envious of another’s money, or talent, or possesions.
I’ve never said this myself, but my grandparents, aunt and uncle do. The reason someone threw away my brother’s car keys at a basketball game? They were jealous of his truck. The reason my cousin’s house got wrapped? They were jealous that she’d gone to Europe. How these things fit together was clearly supposed to be self-evident, since no one ever articulated the reasons behind them.
It sounds like something I’d say. But only when I was sure it was true. I can’t pin down a time. I’d really only say that if I just recently got A and someone else wanted it. And I found out they tried to undermine A, or something like that. I’ll repost if I think of an instance.
I can’t imagine ever saying that seriously. A friend of mine did once, though. It’s one of the many reasons we’re no longer friends. She used to insist that black people were mean to her specifically because they jealous of her for having naturally blonde hair. When I suggested that perhaps that was only in her head and also was a racist thing to say, we got into a pretty explosive argument. I suppose I probably shouldn’t have followed that up with the comment that no one would be jealous of someone else who had hair that strongly resembled the brush end of a broom. I also suggested that people were usually mean to or avoided others who were so narcissistic as to assume others were jealous of them.
Anyway, that’s the only time I’ve ever heard anyone say “but they’re just jealous of me.”
No one’s saying that they haven’t experienced it. They’re saying that they’ve never blamed someone else’s treatment of them on the other person being envious of what they have/do/are.
There’s a girl at work who’s jealous of me. I ended up marrying her former lunch buddy and she ended up knocked up by her pothead ex-boyfriend. I try not to lord it over her too much, but she makes it so fun.
I’ve experienced it. I even told someone recently that I was jealous of them–and not in a playful way but in it heartfelt, apologetic kind of way.
But as lorene said, there’s a difference between acknowledging jealousy in yourself and then wildly blaming others of it. Unless someone says, “I hate you because you’re so beautiful/smart/rich/lucky!”, how do you know someone is being jealous? I guess you can have suspicions, but often times when I hear “They’re just jealous!”, it’s used as the first explanation for bad behavior when other explanations are just as, if not more, plausible. To just assume that people are jealous of you without any evidence indicates a huge ego, IMHO.
I know some parents who tell this to their kids when someone else is mean to them, to try to make their kids feel better about themselves. “Don’t worry about them, they are just jealous.” Sometimes it may be true, kids do tend to act out of jealousy - taking a toy, starting a rumour, hitting a new sibling, etc. But sometimes it seems like the kids then learn to assume any time anyone doesn’t like them, it is because they are jealous and not because of something the kid may have done wrong themselves. I think some people just don’t grow out of that “Everyone else has the problem, not me” mentality. You hear people say this a lot on talk shows.
I would never assume this was a reason behind something unless there was something specific - say I got a promotion someone else was trying for, or dating someone they had a crush on or something.
I say it all the time when I’m not mentioned in “Which Doper’s internal organs would you like to receive” or “How many Dopers can you name” threads. Y’all just jealous!
And no to the OP. Not really. People do rotten things to me because I deserve it.
I was in a fitting room with my mother on a recent shopping trip. She told me the size 2 pants she selected were too large and asked me to run back and get the “size Os” (pronounced as the letter).
Another woman in the fitting room corrected her, saying, “You mean the size zeros. There is no size O.” :rolleyes:
Later I told my mom that the other woman was just jealous. I was only mostly joking.
My parents told it to me often about being picked on at elementary school, and I believe it was true then in a fashion. It was along the same lines as ‘they’re picking on you to make themselves feel better’
As for nowadays? I never say it. Haven’t had a need.
Well, you might as well have titled this thread “I pit everyone who asnwers yes to this post”. What are the chances of anyone actually stepping forward and saying “me me!”