They're Not Supposed To Learn This 'Til They're Teens!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, about a month ago, we transitioned The Littlest Briston from a crib to a toddler bed. Which, of course, means she can hop out of bed anytime she wants. However, she’s very good about it – she enjoys just sitting on her bed with a pile of books, flipping through them all and “reading” the stories aloud.

However, we decided early on that it would be a good idea to be able to keep an eye on her, just to be on the safe side. So, we packed up the audio baby monitor and bought a video one. A little camera sits on one of her shelves, while we keep the little monitor portion with us. Nothing spectacular…it’s a 4" screen, black & white, kinda crappy reception, but it gets the job done. We can look at it and see our daughter right away if she’s sitting up or moving, and if she’s laying down sleeping, we can basically make out the lump on the bed as being her.

Until yesterday.

My wife comes home from work in the afternoon, daughter in hand – she picks her up from day care on her way home. Then it’s afternoon nap time for the both of them. I’m working, but I take the monitor and keep it in my office for this nap, just to make sure the kid doesn’t decide to try diving head-first off the bed or anything. Now, my wife needs this nap because her pregnancy has her whipped, but Shayla usually doesn’t sleep at this time. After all, she gets a good nap at day care.

Not yesterday, though…I watch through the monitor, and see my wife put Shayla in her bed, give her a few books, and then leave the room. Shayla is reading quietly, so I turn my attention back to work. A little while later, I glance over again and see her lying nicely in bed. “Huh…” I think, “…looks like she went off to sleep”. I look over every now and then, and yeah, I see the little lump in bed. Guess she was really tired.

After an hour, it’s time to wake up my girls. I go in to get Shayla first, so she can “help” me wake up her mother. I open the door to her room, and there she is, sitting in a box of toys, tucked away in the corner out of camera range.

“The hell?”, I think…“I just saw her in bed through the monitor. She was laying right…there”. There. In her bed. The bed with the big stuffed penguin lying in a peaceful slumber.

This 21-month-old kid pulled off the toddler equivalent of the “pillow-and-blanket dummy” trick on me. As soon as she turns six, I’m putting Lo-Jack on her.

2

Never underestimate the craftiness of a little kid! When I was potty training mudgirl (she had just turned three), I would give her an M&M every time she used her potty. After catching on to the pee=candy connection, she requested a cup of water. She drank a few sips, poured the rest in her potty and tried to pass it off as her having used the potty. Pretty sharp.

3

Welcome to the pleasure of having a daughter.

Lilly, Queen of the Universe, had misbehaved in some minor form or fashion and I was taking the opportunity to have a talk with her. This went on about 2 minutes when she got this disgusted look on her face, rolled her eyes, and said, “Daddy, I don’t want to talk about his anymore right now.”

Several days later, we were finishiing breakfast on a Sunday morning and she was looking at the comics. I asked her to bring her dirty plate to the sink. Her response was “Dad - can’t you see I’m reading the newspaper?”

She’s 8. I’m looking forward to her teen years.

4

My four year old leaped to my defense this morning at breakfast. Her three year old sister was trying to argue with me about something and the four year old said “Don’t contradict everything Mommy says.” Even though she needs to remember to mind her own business, I was kinda impressed with the vocabulary. :slight_smile:

5

My four-year-old daughter wants to be sneaky, but she hasn’t got it figured out yet. When she’s up to something bad she says, “Daddy, don’t watch me. I’m not doing anything bad.” I’m sure that she’ll get better at this when she’s older, but I keep imagining her as a teenager saying, “Daddy, don’t wait for me to come home. I won’t be staying out too late and having sex with my boyfriend.”

6

Pretty soon she’ll be sneaking out to Heidelberg with LeBeau and Newkirk.

7

I recently caught my 3 year old son hanging halfway out his bedroom window, waving at passers-by. We have casement windows that were opened to let the air in, and the screens were in but they are designed to roll up into the frame so they can be invisible when not needed. He figured out how to unlatch and roll up the screens so he could hang out the window. I’m just glad he didn’t try to escape! (We have a ranch, not a 2 story but still!) I wonder what the neighbors thought if anyone saw him screaming “hello!” and waving out an open window.

I remarked when we gave him that room that it would be very easy for him to sneak out during his teen years, I didn’t think he would try it at 3.

8

I was an infant who sucked her thumb, and my parents would pull it away to try to discourage me. Then they’d come upon me sucking my thumb with the blanket pulled over my face. This was as a not-very-old infant. Mom says I told lies from birth. :mad:

9

Haha, I used to due the exact same thing, except I would stick my other hand over my mouth.
Gestalt.

10

Hey Hal, maybe she just got up early and felt her penguin needed some rest?

[Exciting to hear about the baby on the way!]

11

When my Dad was a wee tot he lived on a farm with his maternal grandparents. Grandma would make donuts from time to time and they were kept in an over-sized cookie jar. They were supposed to be given to him as a treat, not taken. Whenever he filched one, he’d get caught because Grandma kept count. Figuring this out he did the next best thing, and took a bite out of each one.

12

I guess I should count my blessings that my daughter has not yet learned how to climb out of her crib. Playpens, shopping carts, and everything else is fair game, but when she’s in her crib, she stays.

I know the day is coming. I woke up this morning thinking she had escaped because I heard the pitter patter of little feet. I leapt out of bed and there she was, laying on her back in the crib “walking” on the wall. She’s learned to hide things behind her back if she’s not supposed to have them and in general, take goodies out of Mom’s eyesight.

The other day, my husband leaned over me in my chair and was kissing me. She was attentively standing by, hairbrush in hand. She got an evil look and took a swing at me. I grabbed her hand and said “NO!” My husband says “she just wanted to brush your hair.” I said “You didn’t see the look on her face.” She walked around the back of my chair and whacked me with the brush. You see, she can kiss me, I can kiss her, she can kiss Daddy, Daddy can kiss her, but Daddy can’t kiss Mommy! She’s 22 months old and is now learning about “time out.”

Oh, and she pulls the “doing something wrong and I know it but if I give you a big sweet smile, I’ll be forgiven” trick.

13

Oh God, to think I’m old enough to instantly catch this reference! :stuck_out_tongue:

14

At 21 years old: “Ladies and gentlemen, Shayla Briston, Madam President of the United States…”

:wink: :smiley:

15

He’s just figured this one out, but till a few months ago I could catch out my 4 year old like this:

Me: “Do I need to help you brush your teeth or did Mummy do that already?”

Him: “Mummy did them already.”

Me (doubtful because I know she’s unlikely to have had time): “Are you sure?”

Him: “Yes, she really did”

Me: “If I asked Mummy whether you’d had your teeth brushed what would she say?”

Him: “She’d say I hadn’t done them.”

16

When I was young, my mother looked after foster kids. It was mostly good, except for the time one of the older ones tied me up to the clothesline and started building a bonfire around my feet because he’d just heard about Joan of Arc and wanted to try it out. Anyway, one of them was about 2, and had been given given some vegetable (spinach?) for tea, and didn’t like it. My mother said he had to eat it anyway. Eventually he tucked the last mouthful into the side of his mouth and left the table. Clever, I thought (I was about 4).

About two hours later, we had been outside to play, bathed, got ready for bed, when I noticed a bulge in his mouth. He didn’t want to eat it, but he hadn’t figured out maybe he should spit it out. :smack:

17

My two oldest really did sneak out of their second-floor bedroom window, while I was on the phone with the neurologist. When I got off the phone, I heard the neighbor’s great-grandson screeching “Baby! Baby!” and I found my 2-year-old and 5-year-old perched atop the roof.

Neighbor’s daughter and I both called 911, and ended up with 5 police cars (1 state trooper, 2 sheriff’s deputies, and 2 city police) and one fire company ladder truck. One officer climbed up on the roof and hung on to the kids until the rest of them got here, and then seven firefighters hauled out ladders and climbed up and hauled my boys down.

I was horrified.

The boys thought it was the coolest thing EVER. Police cars, a fire truck, sirens, whoo! We swapped the child-proof locks on the windows for some ultra-child-proof ones that day. If they make it to teenagers, I’m putting alarms on those windows.

18

We didn’t have cameras to deal with, but I was the Mistress Spy by age 3: I was able to sneak myself and a wooden construction set under Grandma’s table, into an angle that was hidden from the adults and play so quietly that the grown-ups didn’t realize I was there.

My brothers were able to play quietly by age 2. The Nephew is now 20mo; one of the things that have caused friction about how to raise him is that his mother and her mother kept checking up on him whenever he was asleep and they were awake - poor kid wasn’t even given time to properly wake up and decide he wanted company before being grabbed out of the craddle. Now they use a blanket that’s like a sleeping bag… Mom’s made the experiment of setting him to nap without the bag and then if he wakes up he doesn’t call; he just grabs one of the toys that’s nearby (if he doesn’t reach, he calls). SiL will have a fit if she ever hears of that experiment.

19

Sadly, not possible unless they change their Constitution. I think the US has one of the most complicated “majority age” systems anywhere!

But who knows, maybe Hal will have a Cultural Attaché in the family some day :slight_smile:

20

:stuck_out_tongue: As mentioned, apparently I lied like a rug if I felt any threat at all. My brother on the other hand:

Justin, did you break this?

Yes!..I mean, no.

:smack: :wink: