I forgot to add that, in my experience, women love having a great dinner cooked for them too!
Larry
I have learned this about men:
That I cannot be sick or in pain without him feeling sickness or pain at the same time. This is not a sympathetic reaction, mind you…it is a ploy for sympathy. And since I am currently pregnant and feeling some sort of illness or pain pretty much all the time, so is he. And whatever he is feeling is worse, of course.
There are some men who actually want kids. My boyfriend, for example, loves babies. He babysits for all of his friends who have children. I think it’s because he has a younger sister who was born when he was almost 17. I, on the other hand, am completely indifferent to the idea of children. I adore them from the age of about 18 months up, but babies hate me, so I’m somewhat scared of them. Therefore, I don’t really know if I want to have one. I could definitely live a full life without kids, but I don’t think he could.
What I’ve learned? Well, when in a relationship with a man, if you really, really want to tell him something that has to do with the relationship or your general emotions regarding it, wait two months. If you’re still together, and you still want to say it, chances are that’ll be around the time that he’s ready to hear it.
i know a few women who absolutely do not want to have children. My friend Ann does not like children. She remarked that when she was in Venezuela, the son of her host parents was cute, and he is the only child she really liked, but she still didnt want to have children. I also know a few guys who wanted kids more than their girlfriends. Most of it was because it was a “They’re so cute, and they would love me” thing… Oh and i dislike sports (except a live game of soccer), but i agree with the color thing.
Here’s one you should learn soon.
Men hate it when a woman complains about “all men.” For instance, saying “all men talk about sports all the time” is like saying “all women spend all their time in the mall.” It’s an overgeneralization. Personally, I find most ball sports to be absolutely stupid. If my life depended on naming three football teams and the colors of their uniforms, I’d probably end up dead.
I’m not a warlock.
I’m a witch with a Y chromosome.
hear hear, it is so annoying to be critizised for stereotyping by someone who is stereotyping,
Larry
Also:
The best way to hold on to a man is with your arms.
Also ladies, here’s one for you, and it’s a little secret I’ll let you in on:
All guys love to have their tummy rubbed. It’s not necessarily a sexual thing, but it just feels really good. If you want a keep a man, the trick is, every once in a while, reach up under his shirt and just rub his tummy. He’ll be yours for life.
And I am never late. I always show up anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes early where ever I am going, just because I hate to make people wait.
Jason R Remy
“One pill makes you taller, and one pill makes you small, but the ones that mother gives you don’t do anything at all”
– Jefferson Airplane * White Rabbit * (Slick, G. 1966)
Had to comment on the men/babies thing.
When my husband & I first met, we had pretty much made up our minds…no kids. As we got to know each other better, our minds changed, and we decided a kid might not be too bad. When I got pregnant, I was excited, but my husband was GEEKED. I mean, just beside himself with glee. He went to EVERY doctor’s appointment with me, and was right there when she was born. Now he’s her slave.
He also relates well to other kids–or they relate well to him, since he’s got that “I’m a musician & never quite grew up” mentality 
And since I’ve got one of my own, I find that I relate better to kids as well.
This is just our personal experience though, and is absolutely NOT meant to try & entice others into the world of parenthood. Sure, parenting is fun and I’m glad I changed my mind about it, but it is not for everyone.
You been reading too many of them John Grey books. Speak for yourself, laddie! (Although you’re right about the clothes and shoes ::yawn: :).
Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post
In Shampoo Planet by Douglas Coupland (read it, now, especially if you were born between '68 and '75), the main character has a fling with a self-centered, spoiled control freak. He once asks her to scratch behind his ears, which she refuses to do because “then scratching would become just one more task she would have to execute on a routine basis”. How selfish, I thought. When Mr. Rilch and I first drove across the U.S., we got into a routine of having me massage his hands and legs, which were stiff and cramped from driving. Then when we began working on set, this changed to foot massages. After a while, I understood what that girl had meant, but after more time, I was glad of the massage sessions. When he’s working 18-hour days, massage time is the only time we have together.
Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green
Before I met my husband, I dated men who were 10 - 20 years older than me thinking I wanted a man who was more mature. It took a few years to realize that men who date women who are 10 - 20 years younger than them are not particularly mature.
My husband is 2 months older than me. He’s not particularly mature, either, but at least there’s still hope.
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
When men are not watching sports, they are doing lawn care or driving somewhere. And in the car they still listen to Jethro Tull and Van Halen and Garbage,and the Stones of course, often up to the age 50. I have 5 years to go.
Women pick up on trivial details like “lyrics”.
Men are just that. Men. Human. And I love them! Some men do weird things that I don’t like. Constantly rearranging Mr. Happy in public springs to mind but men do MORE things that I do like. They don’t tend to obsess on weight (theirs or others) they tend to be more willing to compromise (I cook, you clean) and I’m sorry, nothing beats a good hard penis. Sorry, it just had to be said! The only thing I learned too late? Sex doesn’t equal love to men. Not always. But it doesn’t to women either. Okay, I’m all over the map here. I guess I just see more similarities between men and women than differences.
The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.
If a man tells a joke in the forest and there are no women present, is it still funny? BTW, the 'Skins colors are refered to as the “Burgandy and Gold”.
Yup, the belly rubbing thing is right. My M’s greatest pleasure is to wake up in the morning and have me rub his belly for a while. He makes appropriate cute noises whilst I do this, so I like it too!
Another thing I’ve learned in the past few years. Men like it when their women tells 'em how great they are. Positive comments on his looks, his sexual prowess, and how smart he was when he fixed my motorcycle when it broke down in a tiny town in Wyoming are GREATLY appreciated. Men positively PURR when you do this on a regular basis.
'Course, MY problem is that I refuse to lie about this stuff. If I’m gonna tell him how great he is, he damn well better BE great. It’s taken me a while to find a man who lives up to this. But I got him now, and let me tell you, he’s one hell of a guy.
Hooray, Mike King!
It took my wife a few years to figure this one out, but she finally got it. Guys are (in general) not subtle or deep. If there’s something on their minds, they usually express it; if a guy says something, he usually means it; if a guy is trying to be nasty, it’s usually pretty explicit. Women see subtexts to everything, because women place subtexts in everything. Once they stop worrying about what a guy is hiding (usually nothing), they and their guys are both much happier.
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@schicktech.com
“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
Another tip for the ladies:
Men have three categories of responses to any question.
- Hate it
- Don’t care
- Love it
We only use 1 and 3 5% of the time the other 95% of the time we really don’t give a shit. Examples of this include, but are not limited to wallpaper type, paint colors choice, landscaping, flowers, types of foodstuffs, your blue shoes vs. your dark blue shoes, brown lipstick vs. red lipstick, the sundress vs. the blouse and the sweater, the color of the new bedspread you’re going to buy…
It’s not that we don’t have any emotion or preference, it’s just that we only voice our opinion when we really love or hate something. Quit trying to get us to commit to shit we don’t care about, all we want is the remote control back so we can check the Knicks score.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
George Bernard Shaw
a man stays with a woman for the way she makes him feel about himself.
In other words…you can love him desperately, but if you make him feel like a shit all the time, see ya.
I am not totally sure if I agree with that one, it was passed on to me from mom…but what does she know, dad ran on her for 15 years before he found a younger chick and left for good.
I’m sorry, Byzantine, I didn’t want to do this, I really didn’t, but I held back as long as I could. . .
With the possible exception of my right hand.
(I’m really sorry.)
Dr. J