Never keep a man guessing…He’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Any others?
Give 'em plenty of good loving.
It only hurts when I laugh.
I don’t know if I learned it too late, but it did take me a good long while.
Allow them the chance to lead. Women are so…pushy.
If men cannot watch sports (because the cable is out) then a man will go through your entire video collection (which he has never looked through before in years) and watch a video that most closely resembles sports (Like Bull Durham) to satisfy that primal requirement.
People change not because they see the light but because they feel the heat.
They don’t use toilet paper after they pee.
That, and even the most liberal, equality-supporting man still loves it when a woman makes a great dinner for him.
“Me fail English? That’s unpossible!”
“English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.”
They’re always late. Always. No amount of yelling, nagging, or advance planning can change this.
Here’s one for all of you.
When you ask us what we’re thinking about and we say “nothing”, don’t get mad at us because we’re not sharing. We really are thinking about nothing.
I have also learned
Men are all scum, except the one you like, he’s different.
to throw in another guy’s view…
i back up Mike King 100%.
and i disagree with Stella*Fantasia 100%. i am always on time. punctuality is a big sticking point with me. as well as with every man in my family and most of my friends. on the other hand, most female members of my family seem never to have heard of it. go figure.
ellis
(speaking for da guyz)
Men do not analyze every situation by the nuances of what was not said vs. what was and who looked at who in a wierd way. I’ve mentioned to my husband a lot of times “Hey, did you notice the way X was looking at Y after she said that?” The answer is No almost all the time.
Men do not analyze their emotions i.e.,“Why am I feeling this way” like women do.
RE: the punctuality thing. My husband and I can be anywhere on time separately but we’re almost always late if we’re going together. Haven’t figured this one out yet.
Brown striped underwear is a man thing.
Here’s food for thought Every time I walk into the hubby’s office, the guys are talking about sports. Not the same two or three guys, but everyn guy talking about every sport. It’s like an ESPN junkie convention. Every conversation is looped towards “that play” or “did you see the highlight of that game?” . I asked them, about 15 guys, who were standing around looking at some Fantasy Football Websight, if there were no more sports, what would they talk about?
They all answered at the same time: Sex
To which I responded, " No wonder you like the highlights…they last longer than sex."
They never ask the questions we want to have answered. I mean… my man reports that a cousin\friend\whatever has a baby. He knows if it’s a boy or a girl, but not the name. Or… someone has a new squeeze. Gender, yes - but nothing else. On the other hand, he can report exact details of the computer system someone else has… and expects me to know that info as well. Learning to expect this alternate focus has made life easier.
Just helpin’ you ladies out a little more.
- Color *
We understand color in the basic terms (i.e. red, blue, green). My wife will use terms like * mauve, charteuse, and teal *. For most guys the reaction will be a dog-like tilt of the head and a blank stare. Usually a good way of interpreting color to guys is to equate it with a sports team color. “Teal” now is defined for me as the Florida Marlins or Carolina Panthers. “Burgundy” with the Washington Redskins. When we have to go shopping for color items, my wife uses this method with reasonable success.
“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”
Warren ZevonWe are not deep talkers.
Our topics include but are not limited to:
Sports, weather, cars, tools, women, computers, A/V equipment
They rarely include: emotions, clothes, emotions, shoes, emotions
How about
Men like women (or men) with pasts, cause they know history repeats itself.
RE: Color
As Bluepony said, there are ten colors in a man’s world: black, white, brown, red, blue, green, yellow, orange, purple, and pink. Everything else can be described in reference to these colors. For example, teal is a greenish blue, aqua is a blueish green. Burgundy is a kind of purple, mauve is a different kind of purple. I have no idea what charteuse is, but as a man, I don’t care.
I dunno, teal is more Jacksonville Jaguars than Carolina Panthers. And the 'Skins are a bit more on the maroon side.
One thing i learned too late- Men (generally speaking- mine in particular) are about ZERO interested in the whole baby thing. They don’t spend years and years pining for one, and when the time comes to make one the general attitude is “no big deal”. The only men who go on and on about babies and how great they are: Men in the movies. That’s just my opinion, I’m not trying to bash anyone.
An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.
Well lets see, I think most of these traits are found in women as well, it’s just the distribution that’s different. there’s a whole thread about guys that don’t like sports over in great debates, the male doctors and nurses I work with think babies are cool, we can make silly noises with the best of them. I love Bull Durham because of Susan Sarandon, not Costner or baseball. Sometimes I’m late, sometimes not. I follow the nuances of expression just fine thank you very much. Although I’d have to go along with the color and the brown stripe thing, I refuse to concede them as deficits,
Larry