Toothbrushes. I had my checkup today and got my free toothbrush with it. I realized that it is exactly the same as the one I was using, which seemed an odd coincidence. Then I realized I’ve been using the toothbrush I got at my last check up 6 months ago, the whole time.
Shampoo. I have a wife and two daughters. I just use whatever shampoo, they have. Same goes for soap.
Shaving cream. I have a thick beard. I ran out of shaving cream about 15 years ago, and I keep forgetting to buy some. Hot water works good enough.
Cars. I used to really care about cars. Now the only time I care is if it’s not working right. I just need a good enough car to go where I need to go with my stuff. This is weird because not too long ago, I was a fanatic. I had an XJR, an M3, all kinds of stuff. Now I have a silver suv. Silver means I don’t need to wash it.
Pens. All just as good.
Balding. I don’t give a shit.
Hair on my back, growing on my ears, bushy eyebrows. I used to worry about this and keep up with it. Now I don’t care.
The environment. I know I should, and I pretend too to be politically correct. But I don’t actually care.
Politics. I used to care about this a lot. But, it really doesn’t matter. Politics are like sports. The result of who wins changes nothing.
How good looking people are, particularly women. I used to pay a lot of attention to this. Now, if anything, I try to avoid very attractive people. They are either way to caught up in their bubble or way to self-absorbed in their efforts to be beautiful. i notice that hot female employees seem to think they can use their wiles on me. I’m not sure why I’m unimpressed.
Beer. I like beer fine, it’s just the varieties I don’t care about. It’s all good and I’ll drink any kind.
Wine. Don’t care for it.
Whoever happens to be currently dating my daughter. I used to be deeply concerned about this, now it’s just tedious. They seem to be trying to impress me, or convince me that they are worthy, but I think of them as redshirts from Star Trek, or mayflies. They just aren’t going to be around long enough to warrant any notice.
Alien Life. It’s like refugees from Syria. It seems really important at first until I realize I’m never going to meet any, and they are never going to affect me in any real sense.
I’m sure their is a lot more, I just don’t seem to care enough about them to remember.
Things I really care about:
Finding a really good pair of pants. Something that fits well and is comfortable. Very difficult. I have thick muscular legs and a narrow waist, and that seems to mean that all pants that are made today are designed for a different species than me.
Food. Enough said.
Comfortable shoes
The wellbeing of my family
My health
Golf clubs
Scotch and Whiskey
My wife’s ass.
My 10 year old treadmill which I’ve rebuilt several times. It and I have a very deep and complex relationship, and I’ve sweated enough DNA onto it, that it is probably an extension of myself.
The rain gutters. They are going to need cleaning so they don,t get clogged. Are they covering the house properly? Dripping the wrong way? Are my drainage paths correctly leading away from the house? I’ve never had any issues, so I don’t know why this is such a deep concern, but I worry about my gutters constantly. The world is a hard and unfriendly place for rain gutters.
The bacteria in my septic tank. My kids are always putting. stuff down there that they shouldn’t. I’m worried about those bacteria. Are they doing well? Do they need anything from me?
Snyder of Hanover jalapeño flavored potato chips. Very difficult to get. I buy them all.
White Castle. There is no White Castle near me. I haven’t had an actual restaurant White Castle hamburger in 20 years. I hear the franchise is not doing well. I might die without ever having another. That’s a problem, that needs to be addressed.
This is by no means a complete accounting. If you wish you can ask me about how I feel about something or share your personal list. I don’t care.
I appreciate that you are concerned about the bacteria in your septic tank, that’s not something you hear every day. In fact, I’ve never really heard it put that way. And if White castle isn’t doing so well, that is a concern. There is one not real far from me, I will try to do more to support them. Perhaps, on your end (ha), the 2 may be related.
I do not give a single shit about shaving foam/creme/gel, and if I don’t have any on hand, I’ll just lather up with the soap I’m using. You’re crazy with the pens thing, though. A pen that writes smoothly makes me feel happy in my soul.
Things I do not care about:
What other people do for a living. Please, just… do not f-ing talk to me about your job. I’ve tried my best to care less, and it is impossible. And I’m over IPAs. Can we drink a different beer now?
I just can’t resist the obvious about spelling and the use of To v. Too, but that said I agree for the most part except for not caring about the car. When I give up caring about my car I’ve given up on life.
And I’m really sorry about White Castle’s. There is one nearby and every so often I go there… it is a strange combination of elation and regret all at the same time (actually the regret usually comes a bit later).
Don’t care about anything we laughingly call “Pop culture.” Seven or eight years ago, I had my brother explain to me who Hannah Montana was and that was the last nail in the coffin.
They have the pre-packed White Castle burgers in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store here but I don’t think I’ve seen an actual White Castle restaurant in about 15 years.
Patriotism. The circumstances and country in which you come out of a vagina are so arbitrary, I think patriotism is valuable only for distinguishing which team is which at the olympics and therefore lends the olympics a bit of excitement. Otherwise it seems inherently ludicrous to me to feel national pride.
My wife is free to buy whatever she wants as far as shampoo, food, cleaning products, pet food etc etc. It can be the most basic store-brand stuff & I won’t care. As long as it does it’s job I’ll use it without complaint.
I care about my Septic Tank bacteria too. Twice a year (for xmas and a mid-year bacterial birthday gift) I chuck some goodies down there that supposedly help them do their thing. Our system was struggling when we moved here and now between that and some other changes we’ve made, it’s now ticking along fine.
Go on, give your septic bacteria a little helping hand today!
I think the official word from septic tank experts is that all you really need to do to give your septic bacteria a boost is to use it as intended. The occasional White Castle burger will provide all the boost it needs.
Don’t care:
Craft beer - I’m fucking over it. Give me a Miller and don’t roll your Goddamn eyes.
Wagyu/Kobe beef - fuck that shit, it’s not that much better and yes I’ve had it, and don’t even get me started on Kobe burgers
Premium coffee - you know what? Dunkin’ Donuts makes a fine cup at a sane price
Designer clothes and shoes - if you’re over 25 and still give a shit about labels you’re fucked in the head
Premium liquor - see Pappy reference upthread
Do care:
Reliable transportation
On that note, affordable public transportation
Food as a right - no one should go hungry, there’s simply no reason for it - X100 for children
The obscene influence of the moneyed few in politics
My children above all else
Professional sports. Couldn’t care less about a bunch of mutants being obscenely overpaid to play games. (I do find it interesting that those who wail about CEOs and such being “overpaid” never seem to apply that to professional athletes, entertainers, and such.)
Pop culture. I would have been quite happy to never know what a Kardashian or a Snooki or a Paris Hilton is.
I do care about Pappy Van Winkle. I liked it before it got big. I think it’s one of the rare things that lives up to the hype. I still have about 2 inches left in a bottle of the 23 year old, and about half a bottle of the 15 year old. The 20 is my favorite, but mine’s been long gone.
