Another of my favorites happens a lot around here. This is hard to explain but bear with me.
You’re taking a right turn. There’s this big ass yellow sign that shows your lane doesn’t have to merge, but instead has its own, dedicated lane once you get around the corner. Yet dumbasses who should have their drivers licenses revoked STOP. They sit there and wait for a break in traffic when they have their own fucking empty lane. GRRRR this pisses me off.
At many lights here in Albuquerque, the light will turn red, and then immediately give a green right turn arrow. This would be akin to a “safe” right turn on red. (ie. no traffic going that direction at the time)
Some people wanting to turn right STILL fucking sit there until the “main” light turns green
This “right turn green arrow” may not be common in a lot of cities, but these people irritate the shit outta me.
And for chrissakes, when your at a stoplight, and your the first car in the lane, PAY ATTENTION! You should never be caught unaware by a green light!!! Your car should not be in neutral, or in park. You should not have to be shocked back into consciousness by the honking of my horn!!!
Yes, I go at the speed limit, even on dark deserted country roads with only me, and you behind me. You never know where cops are. You’re up my ass with your brights on, weaving into my side mirrors, trying to get me to speed up. Meanwhile, there’s a broken yellow line to your left, and even if there weren’t, pass anyway if you don’t worry about the police. THERE’S NO ONE OUT HERE BUT US, PASS ME ALREADY!!!
But you won’t, even when I slow waaay down. (I only get off the road to let someone pass who hasn’t been up my ass.) Mofo.
And about the “wouldn’t you like the value meal?”: My favorite is the amazingly overpriced movie refreshments where someone will ask for a medium popcorn: “Only 25 cents more for the large!” OK, there’s something seriously f-ed up about that pricing structure.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Civil Defense *
Lighten up. Here in pedestrian-land we have to watch out for Type-A fuckheads who ignore pedestrian areas to get their precious right-on-reds.
Right turn, on red, after stop is an option. As in optional. As in if you don’t feel like it you don’t have to do it.
And no amount of RageFace posturing from the numbnuts behind you can make you.
I hate soccer.
Welcome back, Krispy. 
Thanks Falcon, but I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last…I just got hassled by the man for posting some jokes in the joke thread in IMHO…they said I was violating copyrights…who knew?
I hate when Krispy Original ain’t around.
Welcome back, dude.
I guess everyone who posts a joke now will get a warning, since just about every joke has been copyrighted. Oh well, no more joke threads.
As far as we are on driving pet peeves. I also hate people who don’t have patience for pedestrians. On city streets, they have as much right to cross as you have to turn. dustMagnate makes a good point, plenty of people are in such a hurry to turn on red, they run over granny crossing in the walk way.
The other day I was waiting at a stop light, old lady was crossing s l o w l y with her groceries and her cane. She got midway across the street and the light turned green. So, I sped up and mowed her down. No no, thats not how this story goes. She was doing her best to get across, and then a mustang comes up next to me at the light, he stops for a second, sees the old lady. Lies down on his horn. As if that would speed her up. Then once he is an inch away, he zooms past her. I hope he ends up in a ditch with some strange dog’s penis stuffed down his throat.
Ok, I don’t really wish that, but he shouldn’t be beeping at people who are doing their best to cross the street.
pat
Thanks buddy.
Hey:
Thanks a lot for the visual!
Moderator Notes:
We said you were possibly violating copyrights. Of course joke threads can still exist. But literally copying and pasting a series of jokes - easily found by means of a Google search for an entire joke- from one a few renowned websites is pushing things. We have rules regarding the quoting of (possibly) copyrighted material. These rules apply to all posters, Krispy Original included.
If you don’t want to be found out in this sort of thing, Krispy, I suggest you post other jokes. Preferably jokes that don’t contain English Premier and First League teams you are obviously unfamiliar with. Raises my interest. Hence the little investigation.
Now drop the martyr act, and if at all possible, keep your irrational fear of rounded leather objects to yourself.
No thanks. Like I said, I won’t be posting anymore jokes.
FTITCTAJ.
We sure Can TAJ, Krispy. So keep your cowardly acronyms to yourself too, OK?
lol
In merging situations (like construction situations, where 2 lanes merge into 1) …I’m not sure who I hate worse, the fucking mouthbreathing genetic mutant wedgers, or the spineless pussy whipped people who let the wedgers in…ARGGGGGGHHHHH there is a special place in hell for those cretins.
I hate the numbnuts who parked in front of the driveway to my apartment building. We have a single car-width driveway from the street to the parking lot and this asshole blocks it entirely with his(or her) new car. How could you not see that is was a driveway??? People couldn’t get to the lot. People couldn’t get out of the lot!
I want you to know of the great pleasure I took in watching the towtruck yank your front end suspension to get a better angle at towing it. I giggled with glee as the parking cop put the $270 ticket on your windshield. I only wish I could hear your anquished cry when you emerge to find your car gone. Bwwwwwaaahahahahaa!!!
I hate you!
Thanks to dustMagnate for posting on behalf of pedestrians everywhere. I hate drivers who can’t wait until a pedestrian crosses the street. Hello? I have the right-of-way. I am a brisk walker–I live in Manhattan where to walk slowly is to get stepped on by other pedestrians. I am walking across the street as fast as I can. Do not start to make your right turn and stop with your bumper practically touching my leg as I try to cross. Do not, as someone did just two weeks ago, decide to turn in front of me. In case you hadn’t noticed, that spot where you turned was where I was going. You nearly ran me over. And you turned at full speed too. Just a couple more inches and I would have been a flattened pedestrian.
Oh, and if you’re going to completely block the crosswalk, you should realize that some people are going to have to cross the street behind you. So it would be a really good idea to use your rearview mirror before you back up. You know, there might be people or even another car behind you. Yes, that was me you hit. Lucky for me, you weren’t going very fast. Crosswalks are for pedestrians, not for drivers. Stop before you get to one. Not like the jackass that rolled to a stop in the crosswalk and hit me hard enough to knock me over. Jerks.
I’ve listed my driving “I Hates” here:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25944
On the subject of pedestrians: If you don’t have a walk sign, don’t start walking! I have many a time missed a green left turn arrow at a particular intersection near my old college because when the cross traffic would stop, the pedestrians would go ahead and start walking, even though the sign still said don’t walk. The sign for pedestrians doesn’t change until after the green left turn arrow goes away, so wait your turn!
There’s nothing quite like trying to walk across a parking lot in lousy weather, wet, cold, ucky, having to wait for the warm, dry, comfy drivers who would NEVER consider yielding to a pedestrian. I’m thinking in particular about the day outside the grocery store when THREE CARS IN A ROW had to drive in front of me as I stood in the downpour. Would a 5 second pause kill ya?
Anyway, I try to always let those on foot cross from the parking lot to the store, on the off-chance that courtesy really is contagious…