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If you drive a convertible at 140 MPH, your hair will whip around with such force that it will actually begin to hurt.
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Weekends are for avoiding people you merely tolerate during the week.
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“Risky Business” had it all wrong. It’s not “Sometimes you just have to say ‘What the fuck…’” It’s “Sometimes you just have to say ‘Go fuck yourself.’”
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There is no earthly substitute for a scoop of Rocky Road at Carvel.
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The difference between a “quaint, seaside hamlet” and an “obnoxious, Martha Stewart-esque tourist trap” is the presence of a McDonald’s.
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You can get mad at a relative’s dog for poking its nose into your golf bag and chewing up several brand new golf balls. Or you can just let the cursed hound chew on whatever he wants and take comfort in knowing that one day he’ll chew through an extension cord.
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You haven’t truly lived until you’ve visited a bar supply store with your American Express card.
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You can never have too many Tiki torches at a backyard party.
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You can put ears of corn on the grill with the husks on and they’ll be delicious, provided you sprinkle them with water occasionally as they’re cooking.
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Pull-out couches are about to become obsolete. It’s easier and better to just buy a regular couch and an Aerobed.
My favorite summer meal: grilled sweet corn. Yum!
I’ve never had ANY Tiki torches at my backyard parties :o I feel so uncool.
Which one is the McDonald’s in, do you think that bitch would ever stoop to buying a McAnything?
kniz - She doesn’t have to buy McAnything. I just noticed that as soon as McDonald’s sets up shop, your little seaside hamlet stops being authentic - like Martha Stewart.
[sub]That little bitch doesn’t sew her own doilies. I have proof.[/sub]
Speaking of backyard tiki torches, does anyone know where to get those strings of lightbulbs that you often see in the movies at country hoe-downs?
I could make them but it would probably be alot cheaper and safer to buy them(U.L. Listed and whatnot). Thanks in advance.