Turn the gas ‘On’ when on the line for a dead-engine start. 
This never happened to me. I had the “Turn the Gas On, Dummy!” sticker on my tank.
Someone in another thread admitted to trying to pop a pan full of what turned out to be, I think, lentils.
My father was a big Brylcreem fan, except for the morning he filled his hair full of Crest. Labels matter, people!
One day I was getting ready to go to high school and grabbed the Lysol bathroom cleaner instead of the hairspray. I think I went to school with wet (freshly rewashed) hair that day.
A large bottle of water was next to the bleach. They are still dissimilar enough as to question her sanity though.
As I found out the first time I made chili and added 7 bulbs… The burn came from the garlic… It was awesome…
I once tried a new recipe that required me to make the seasoning mix ahead of time. After finishing that, I prepped all of the vegetables and meat, got them simmering nicely as I was supposed to, and dumped in the seasoning with nary a thought.
Missed the part that said “Now add one tablespoon of the seasoning mix…”
Not the whole cup-and-a-half or so that the recipe made :eek:
Exactly.
Kosher salt and sugar are not interchangeable.
Yeah, reading recipes all the way through can be helpful. Keeps you from adding a bunch of olive oil to your meatballs, instead of frying them in it.
I ordered furniture online once, and failed to notice it was from the “juvenile” department.
Spinal Tap ensued.
Puts up hand, hangs head in shame.
Why would popcorn burn instead of pop?
In my defence, they were dried yellow split peas, not lentils.
Well, that makes it a far more logical thing to do.
What a muppet!
Reading this thread is … hilarious, but also comforting.
Mowing the front yard with my lawn tractor…and forgetting to ENGAGE THE BLADES!!
Trying to grind meat, having forgotten to put the cutting blade in the grinder. Meat mush is not at all appealing.
Driving to the airport, parking in one of those massive parking lots, and forgetting to write down where I parked so a week later when you return you can find your car. You know, at night thousands of red cars look the same and those lots can be VERY big.
The first time I made my sister’s Nuts and Bolts snack mix recipe, I misread the “add 2 cloves of crushed garlic” as “2 bulbs”. Best snack mix ever! I’ve made it that way ever since.
The quantity “tbs” (tablespoons) looks a lot like “lbs” (pounds) under poor lighting conditions, so what I learned after making a green bean casserole with 3 lbs of butter* was to turn the gorram lights on.
- I really, really, really wish I was kidding. I really am that stupid.
Mmmmm … butter.
I take pictures of where I leave my car, and as added insurance use my cellphone’s mapping (tap “mark my location”).
ETA: as even further insurance, note that airports do constant license plate census. If you cannot find your car, they can take you right to it.
As usual, I roasted a chicken and, after dinner, I salvaged all the meat from the carcass and boiled the rest for a couple of hours for stock, then strained and refrigerated. The next day I carefully skimmed the solidified fat and washed, skinned, and chopped the vegetables.
After bringing to a boil I tasted and found it needed salt. I grabbed a salt shaker filled with white granules from the cabinet and seasoned. I kept tasting, but it still wasn’t salty enough. Finally I sprinkled some on my hand and tasted it. It wasn’t salt.
My (now ex) wife had found a convenient way to dispense the pure MSG she used for her ethnic dishes. Absolutely inedible. What a waste.
Labels are your friends.