…don’t put the Chapstick and the gluestick next to each other in the desk drawer.
I don’t suppose you tried to glue something with the Chapstick?
Sorry, she can’t talk about that right now.
Sure beats storing eye drops in the vicinity of super glue.
Facial astringent next to mouth wash also not good.
And let’s not talk about Preparation H and toothpaste.
In the same vein, putting Vicks underneath your nose really doesn’t work.
True story…when my son was about 3 he mistook the tube of Bengay for toothpaste. He reported “that toothpaste doesn’t taste good” in a quite aromatic lament.
Keeping the dish detergent next to the condiments on the counter when you’re making spaghetti really isn’t a good idea either.
What condiments are you putting on your spaghetti?
Was he the one who put powder detergent in his spaghetti thinking it was Parmesan cheese?
Comet does not go near the body powder.
(happened when I was 5)
Coloring happily with my crayolas at the kitchen table one winter. Mom served me a hot mug of cocoa. “It’s too hot!” I claimed. “Just keep stiring it” mom said.
So there I was alternating- pick up spoon, stir the cocoa, set down spoon, pick up crayon, color, set down crayon, repeat.
One too may times and I ended up stirring the cocoa with a red crayola. Melted right into the cocoa it did.
Always, ALWAYS make sure to wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom when you’re taking care of your horses, esp. after picking the dirt and stuff out of their hooves and cleaning your boy horse’s sheath.
Always smell the milk BEFORE you pour it into your bowl of cereal.
Rather minor ones here:
Your mobile phone next to your mouse
The laptop mouse next to the desktop mouse (cue comical moments of “WTF why isn’t the mouse cursor moving!?”)
Never drink ice tea while you’re painting a watercolor. Especially, don’t drink it out of the same kind of glass that you’re using to rinse your brushes.
Actually, if your goal is to mask the odor of necrotic tissue, it works just great.
Seconded! Then again, French Ultramarine can be quite tasty.
Never keep the salt and sugar in similar containers.
If your eye is swollen shut and you have no depth perception, by all that’s holy, do NOT decide to have friends over and cook for them. Especially when said cooking involves chopping some really hard vegetables with a big, sharp knife.
If you pick up a really sharp knife thinking, “this is going to be a really bad idea - I’m going to cut off a finger or something,” you’re probably right. Put the knife down and step away. (Separate incident from above)
If your boss is really funny, has excellent timing and you laugh easily, it’s best not to sit across the table from her with a mouthful of red wine. Although she’ll be nice about it, she privately won’t be impressed at all when you snort it through your nose. (Thank God she wasn’t wearing white and that we were friends at the time.)
When my husband was a teenager, he worked at a pizza joint. One of his tasks was to slice fresh jalapenos. He quickly learned to always, ALWAYS wash his hands right after slicing duty…especially if he planned to use the bathroom anytime soon.