My cat’s toothpaste (Ya know how when people are begging off something they don’t want to do, they say, “I have to brush my cat’s teeth?” Yeah.) is labeled FOR VETERINARY USE ONLY.
All well and good. It’s not manufactured up to standards for human consumption. So you wouldn’t want people using it.
Except.
Except that it is poultry-flavored toothpaste.
I think that fact in and of itself, is sufficient to communicate that HUMANS SHOULD NOT BE PUTTING THIS IN THEIR MOUTHS.
Other examples?
For what it’s worth, I can assure you that yes, poultry-flavored toothpaste tastes just as absolutely god-awful as you’ve imagined.
I hope you at least won money in a bet for finding that out. :eek:
I considered buying a jar of wasabi peanuts at Target earlier. The label says, “This product contains peanuts.” I sure hope so.
I saw a comedian the other day. He remarked that he was stopped at a cross street near the top of a freeway off ramp. Looking a few yards down the ramp he saw, painted on the road “WRONG WAY”.
'This I can understand," he said, “But what kind of FUCKWIT needs the next sign saying ‘GO BACK’?”
“Nutritional information relates to eaten portion of product.”
What, seriously?
I bought a pack of Californian walnuts and it said “Remove shells before eating”
On a set of stainless steel bowls, “Not for use in microwave ovens.”
How timely. I just poured myself a big bowl of Special K with Soy. Under the ingredients of Special K with Soy, in bold letters, is the warning: “This product contains soy”. Uh, thanks. And yes, the makers of Vanilla Almond Special K would like you to know, in case you missed in the name, ingredients list, or picture on the front, that Vanilla Almond Special K contains nuts.
My curling iron warns against use while sleeping or use in the shower. The shower? I mean, maybe, just maybe, I could see someone being dumb enough to try using a curling iron in the bath. But while showering? You can’t curl wet hair!
Oh, and you know how fast food soda cups have that “don’t litter” stick figure tossing the cup in a trash can? I really want coffee chains that have the “Caution! Contents may be hot!” warning on their coffee cups to have a little stick figure dumping hot coffee on its crotch. But maybe that’s just me.
My hair dryer has a sticker on the cord that tells me not to use the appliance while sleeping or showering. Electrocution not withstanding, WHY would one try to dry hair while wetting it?
My toaster says I shouldn’t use it while bathing.
My soldering iron tells me the 800°F tip may be hot.
My sleeping pill might cause drowsyness.
On TV they keep telling me that birth control pills don’t protect against STDs and that genital herpes treatment won’t prevent pregnancy.
My husband’s chain saw says it shouldn’t be used unsupervized by children.
A medication on tv always has this disclaimer. It may increase the risk of ovarian cancer. This only affects women that don’t have their ovaries removed. Well dahhh.
The first time I ever saw this picture, it was on the now defunct Daily Radar site. They always had a daily picture.
This one was under the title of Daily Obviousity.
It’s one of my favourites. 
I read this 15 minutes after this thread, and I had to post it. What’s the best way to handle the problem of drunken bed wetting? Apparently not what this guy did.
My favorite one recently was the warning on a toilet bowl sanitizer - the kind you hand over the edge inside the bowl. It said something to the effect of, “The product has been known to cause cancer in California.” I wonder if in the Midwest I am safe from cancer…
I saw a comedian who said that his hair dryer had the following warnings:
Do not use while showering
Do not use while sleeping.
I know I’ve posted this before, but…
We bought a new dishwasher for the cat shelter I used to work for. A tag on the inside of the dishwasher stated: “Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.” I got really strange looks from the guy doing the installation when I said “Well why do they think I bought the damn thing?”
I worked at a company that makes tooling for a major appliance company. They have six year olds try to break things, and if they do it has to be redesigned. A kid crawled into a dishwasher and broke something once. The engineer wasn’t happy. The part redesign delayed the release of product about 6 months.
There’s a sign in town here where a small driveway bridge was removed, and the creek restored to original condition. Now there is no indication that the bridge or its entrance ramp ever existed, the strre is gone and the curb and there’s a 3-foot grass berm in its place. But they still have a sign saying. “Not a through street.” Presumably for those blind people who remember the bridge.
Well, of course, because wasabi by itself isn’t really food, just a culinary special effect. 
Where I work, they have little towelettes to clean eyeglasses. They have a note, “Not for use on contact lenses.” Yowch!
I think that most, if not all of these asinine precautions are written because some consumer actually complained or started a law suit because of their own stupidity.
Complaint Department Guy, reading a customer complaint form…
‘Hey Boss…guess where this customer tried to put his dick…
Time to add a new warning on the vacuum cleaners… :eek:
