Note to self…
Next time, remember to pick the tomatoes before putting out the ant poison.
Note to self…
Only put thirty beef ribs on a gas BBQ at the same time if you enjoy watching five foot high flames.
Note to self…
Check tag on underwear before putting them on. This prevents you from wearing your thong sideways.
Note to self…
Brush teeth then lipstick.
Memo: 4 pounds of C-4 may be a bit–excessive.
Note to self…
Stop. Doing. Anything.
First pants, THEN your shoes.
(I really have that up next to my bed).
Mental note: Listen to the voices in your head. Especially the ones that tell you fire is bad.
Note to self–
Dear Self:
Stop referring to yourself as ‘Self.’
Love,
Self
note to self…
Tooth brush is for teeth, electric razor for face.
note to self,
Stop re-checking the fridge every 1/2n hour after not findinganything interesting…things don’t appear magically
or
note to self:
get a magical fridge.
Note to self:
Do not try to get on the bus using only a bank card.
Note to self:
Do not try to run for the bus if you are wearing a skirt and the panties with sagging elastic.
Not to self:
Shaking an empty beer bottle does not add fluid…
Note to self:
Make sure the cap on the salad dressing bottle is completely screwed on before shaking.
Note to self:
Salt in coffee baaad. :smack:
Sour milk in coffee worse. :smack: :smack:
Note to self:
Jeff Olsen is a Tremorhead. He is, therefore, a swell guy.
Note to self…
New bottle of vinegar is a flip-lid design. Unscrewing the lid (as per the old design) will not reveal a convenient spout to regulate vinegar flow, but rather a big hole which does not regulate vinegar flow.
Note to self:
Never light a fart in a pair of polyester pants.
Note to self…
When clicking off the SDMB milliseconds before your boss walks in, make sure that you don’t leave a porno site running underneath the window.