Things Not to Tell Your Kids to Say

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My 9 year old son is doing homework with his mother. His lesson today is in the form of: I used to ________ but now I ___________. One example he used was, “I used to suck at basketball but now I dominate.” My wife was suggesting things like, “I used to like Blues’ Clues but now I like The Middle.” On a related note we were forced to take our aging long-haired cat to the groomer because she has become unable to keep up with the snarls. It was so bad they had to shave her. So my wife suggested, completely innocently:

“I used to have a hairy kitty but now I have a shaved kitty.”

2

My family LIVES for incidents like this…

My uncle once tricked me into believing I had another uncle who was an astronaut, so there I was embarrassing myself in front of the class on show & tell back in 1st grade… :smiley:

3

My last name is also the name of an educational institution. When I was a young child, I made the connection and my father told me that my grandfather (a fairly prominent man) owned it.

For the better part of elementary school, I told classmates, teachers, and anyone else who would listen that my family owned the place.