I know what you mean, but I’ll go one further. I love the people who say “I want that omelet dry as can be. Bring it out extra dry.” The waiter arrives, only to be sent back with the dish in question. “This is too dry. I said I wanted it dry, but this is waaaay too dry for me.”
Idiots. If your order requires the ability to read minds, don’t f’ing order it.
I have learned something about bacon today.
Nevertheless, I was indeed thinking of fried bacon. It’s very greasy. I’m European and can’t stand the thought of greasy fingers. I eat French fries and pizza with fork and knife and would do the same with bacon. You can load the little pieces of bacon unto your fork anyhow, you don’t have to stab it.
Finger food for me is something that can be had with taco or bread, for example falafel, something which might leave flour or crumbles in your hand but not make your hands oily.
Well, isn’t that special. If they’re going for appearance or “plate appeal”, they are failing miserably. One limp strand of parsley does not a good presentation make.
You probably eat the pickle on the side as well, she said darkly. You have that garnish look about you…
AnnieXmas–so sorry, but like Mika, wooden paddles take me straight back to childhood.
The whole “eat something”/“I’m not hungry” stuff drives me mad. I swore I’d never do that to my kids and I haven’t. Voila! My kids aren’t overweight and they have few hang-ups re food. YMMV.
Bah, pickles are not a garnish. You may not like them, but they are there to be eaten.
Deleted: Multiple
This thread is making me hungry.
Ugh, wooden ice cream paddles. Didn’t realize there were so many haters out there. Thought it was just me. Just the thought of ice cream paddles makes me squirm.
Other things: Excessive chewing sounds, and people who chew with their mouths open (or talk with them full). I used to have a friend who did this. I couldn’t look at her while we ate. Ugh.
Another things that bothers me is excessive ketchup and mayo together (on a sandwich, for example). I just can’t shake the feeling that the person is eating a big juicy zit.
I try not to be bothered by other people’s food choices, though. I’m one of those boring types who likes everything plain, so I’m hardly one to talk.
Yep, I eat the pickle, if it’s edible. I like pickles. I like parsley, too, and it freshens the breath a bit.
AND I eat the slice of orange or tomato, too. And I’ll salt and eat the lemon wedge in my iced tea.
Does anyone else eat salted lemon?
No, but I like tomato slices sprinkled with sugar. It’s a Southern thing.
I only wish George Carlin had lived long enough for me to send him the phrase “Bacon Shrapnel”. LOL! He would have loved that one!
chicken wings = chicken skin for dinner. I think eating the skin is abhorrent, so wings make me gag. Pretty much avoid bars for this reason. If you’d ever plucked a chicken you’d understand, otherwise, I’ll spare you the knowledge.
Serving eggs with the whites still runny. Runny yolks, I can just deal with, although when I say over/poached “medium” I mean the yolks should be jelled.
The wooden paddle discussion is making my tongue try to crawl down my throat. Ergh! No ice cream is worth the risk of splinters in my tongue. . .
People who complain about how much salt I use. I have LOW blood pressure, I need salt, and lots of fluids, or I get dizzy. Fortunately God was kind enough to make me crave salt, and really enjoy it on my food. Yes, I know how much that is, no, I don’t need to hear your lecture about it. No, I’m not going to explain it to you, because it’s none of your ever-lovin’ business.
People who sniff their fingers after they eat. I don’t think they know they are doing it.
Oil or butter on my hands or face. I go through a really ridiculous number of napkins.
ETA: I eat the parsley after my meal to cleanse my breath and settle my stomach. I eat lemons peel and all with no salt or sugar. Mmmmmmm citrus! ! !
My friend seems to think it will clear her breath after the meal. Does it have that benefit for you?
And my contribution is folks who drown their food in hot sauce. It seems different from ketchup in that hot sauce obliterates the taste of the actual dish, doesn’t it? I’m not a fan so I truly don’t know.
Heh. I went out to lunch with a few friends once, and one of them made explicitly, absolutely, painstakingly clear to the waitress when he ordered that he wanted his hamburger rare. “Like, not how some restaurants will say they’re cooking it rare, but really it’s medium, I mean, like, rare rare, please.” The waitress obliged, and we went about our business while we waited for lunch to be prepared.
The food arrived, and we all started in, when suddenly my friend says “Hey, guys? Guys, does this burger look a little…red to you?” We looked and, yes, it was a rare hamburger, as ordered. “But,” he continued, “I mean, this is like…is this gonna kill me or something?” He was legitimately concerned, and seemed to have no recollection of how he’d ordered it.
Which was funny, until he called the waitress over to complain (and actually used the “I mean, is this gonna kill me?” line on her), and then kept complaining to the point where they brought the manager over to deal with it. None of the complaining was angry or aggressive, just concerned (and oblivious). It was like, halfway through waiting for our lunches, he had been replaced by a Pod Person who was terrified of raw meat.
In the end, the manager actually ended up apologizing for making the burger exactly as ordered, and we got a free dessert out of it. And left a huge tip, and have never let this friend live it down.
My wife doesn’t even touch popsicle sticks. She wraps the popsicle wrapper around the stick so she can hold it in her hand.
I, on the other hand, chew on the popsicle stick when the popsicle’s gone, until it’s all soggy and splintery. She can’t even watch.
I should hope not. That’s pure douchebaggery, that is.
Ok, THAT gave me chills…
Man, I love a happy ending. 
I’ve never heard of anyone eating sugary tomatoes outside of ketchup or pasta sauces and I’ve lived all but two years of my life in the South.
Not in north Florida it’s not. We eat our tomato slices as God intended - with plenty of salt, as a side dish to fried fish.
It seemed more like he either lost his mind partway through the meal (became the Pod person), or wasn’t clear in his own mind what “rare” meant. He seems way too confused to be doing it to be an ass.
But it’s true he should listen to his friends and not pursue it further.
I missed it because I had gone to the bathroom, but my wife won’t eat with my friend again because we went to a deli with him and his wife, and he finished off his soup by using his STRAW to slurp the remains from the bowl.
Had I witnessed it, I think I would have been more amused than annoyed.