Just have to say how much I love this.
Walking along a quiet street, as a white woman with a white female friend alongside, both of us pasty-skinned, a car slowed down and a man leaned out to yell “nigger lovers!” at us. The man was black. 
Along similar lines, my GF, who is five years younger than me, and the same gender as me, came with me to a doctor’s appt. We both look roughly our real ages - if anything, I look a little younger than my real age, definitely not a decade older.
The doctor wanted to know who my partner was and rattled through a list of potential relationships, including “is she your daughter?” When we said partner, she was struck dumb for a moment and had to turn away.
Sitting at my inlaws house, on the porch reading my Kindle. BIL comes out and asks what I’m doing. I reply, Having coffee and reading a book.
BIL: I’d rather have root canal than read a book.
I once in a while meet someone who really believes that here in MN we have snow on the ground 12 months of the year.
Maybe he was asking if you WERE, because he was planning to ask you out. 
Hey I got a brother in law like that. His son was having trouble reading in school and the BIL’s response was pretty close to a dismissive shrug and “Well, I never liked reading, so I can understand why he doesn’t want to.”
Thought of one: Some years ago, my brother and I were in line at a fast-food place to grab some lunch. He and I are both big guys – I’m 6’3" and he’s 6’5"; I’m the fat one but we’re both big, burly dudes. We were minding our own business and this little old man (maybe 5’1") got in line behind us. the LOM piped up with, “Wow! I hope there’s some food left after they serve YOU boys!”
We just slowly turned and stared at him, flabbergasted that someone would say such a thing; he beamed back at us like he’d just said the funniest thing in the world. After a few moments, we just faced front again.
I love it when that happens! I have enough Cherokee in me to be dark skinned and have little facial hair. I like to look over and say “We who, White Man?”.
I’m sure I’ve posted this one before, but it was the one time I just couldn’t think of how to respond. My boss, the nicest guy in the world, and me at my first real job away from home, ~18 years old:
Him: “Are you on your period?”
Me: :eek: thinking jeez, am I bleeding through my clothes didIleavefeminineproductssomewherebyaccident
Him: “My wife always gets a big zit like that when she’s on her period.”
:dubious: I just slowly shook my head and wandered back to my desk.
I thought To Be Announced was a news program on PBS and Frontage Road was the name of a particular street in my hometown that just happened to be next to the freeway.
Several years ago, I was on tour with a band in Florida at an outdoor festival. We get to our hotel the night before and the two young guys in the band want to go and check it out/see some band that is playing that night. I drive them down and decide to get all of our credentials and passes, so we don’t have to deal with that the next day. This is often a long drawn out PITA and today is no exception. As I am waiting these two guys who work the fest are sharing a joke, which I did not hear but when they are done laughing, one says to the other…
“That is as funny as a nigger on a bicycle”
Capt
I thought Business Dist was a town in northern Wisconsin. It was apparently somewhere on the way to both of my grandmas’ houses, because all of the towns we drove through had signs pointing to it, but we never went through Business Dist itself.
A coworker on a business trip had a destination address written down for him - something like “Smith’s X-ing”. Repeating it for the taxi driver “umm… I think I need to get to … Smith’s Zing?”
We called him “Zinger” for quite a while after that.
(note to anyone having the same problem… Crossing)
Had a two way today. Dropped my computer off to have the power supply repaired, was in a hurry so paid no attention to the tech as I filled out my repair request. After I picked it up, paid quickly, grabbed my desktop, looked up to thank the tech, and noticed he had extraordinary eyelashes.
me: “Wow, those are some long eyelashes, gorgeous!”
him, blushing: “Uh, I drink a lot of milk…”
me: ???
so I left.
It was keeping 'em still while she did the burying that was the “bad” part, right?
A couple of years ago I told my ex-husband that Mars was going to appear really large in the night sky and to be sure he looked for it.
The next day I asked him if he saw it and he replied. “I didn’t see anything. I was looking for something about the size of the moon.” 
:smack:
This sounds like something said sarcastically. Are you sure it wasn’t just awkwardly put but meant as a joke?
A lot of people thought that. Some faulty info floating round the web.
Around 20 years ago my grandmother had a heart attack and after she was out of hospital I was detailed by the rest of the family to stay with her and help her around town on errands for the first week. One day we were in the bank waiting in a looong line and there was a young woman ahead of us with a 5 or 6 year old boy standing next to her holding her hand. The boy kept turning around and looking back at my grandmother. His eyes grew wider with each time he turned around, finally ending with an open-mouth slack jawed look of wonder.
I turned to look at my grandmother next to me to see what was so amazing and my jaw dropped too. There she was standing there in her purple quilted winter jacket, gloves off, purse on one arm, her right hand busily digging into her nose. I wasn’t sure what to say, still being young enough at that point (19) to consider it bad form to yell at one of my elders. She sensed me staring at her with open mouth and turned to look at me, said “What? He wanted to stare at me so I gave him a reason!”
Not sure, he blushed mightily at my comment, and his tone gave me no hints, so I just split. I’ll take the blame for bringing the awkward. And that’s just how I left it, too.