Phffft. As if.
That really stings, if you *really are *a woman.
I had about 2,000 CDs, which I’'d been buying since 1985. My mom was amazed, and said “You haven’t actually listened to all of these, have you?” I answered, “Yes, some of them even twice.”
This isn’t so much a thing being said but something I saw but…
Today I saw a black teen who looked about 15 and he was wearing a tshirt with a picture of Hitler on it, no text. The hell?
Palo Verde, are you a woman? If you are, I’m pretty sure that guy was trying to flirt with you. By opening with a joke.
Last year, a friend, a friend-of-the-friend and I were in my town on July 1st watching the local fireworks. The friend and were making plans to meet in her city on July 4th for their fireworks.
Me: Okay, I’ll take the bus and call you from the Family Dollar store.
Friend of Friend: Family Dollar has a pay phone?
When I got over the shock of the question, I said “Maybe, but I’ll be using my cell.”
If I were in the room, I wouldn’t have been exasperated with the girl asking the question, I would have been impatient with the people standing there blinking and shrugging and giving quizzical looks. Geez, just say Seattle and cut the shit.
ETA: Palo Verde, not gonna lie…I was one of those kids who heard stories about some redwoods being so big that roads were built through them. And in my kiddie mind, I imagined huge highways riding right through. So seeing General Sherman may have been a let down for me, if I hadn’t had the notion disabused before going to see him.
Sounds like you were hitting on him, and he was really uncomfortable about it. :dubious:
Hahaha… co worker and I are driving lost in Puerto Rico in the middle of the night and we can’t find the town of Salida… even though it MUST BE HUGE given all the exits that were marked for it.
So mine is many years ago, just six months after we’d gotten married, my (now ex) was about to deploy on a 3 week military exercise near Seoul Korea. This will be the first time that we haven’t been together since we’d met two years earlier.
He sits me down on the couch. With a serious look on his face he explains “There are these girls that work near the camps… All the guys use them… I was thinking it would be okay if I hired them sometimes while I’m gone.”
Me: “”
Him: “They only cost $3” (still looks as if he seriously thinks he has a chance that I’m going to say yes to this)
Me: “”
Him: (Now beginning to suspect that I’m not going to agree) “… I won’t kiss them” (raised eyebrows expecting that to make all the difference)
Yes… and it would take eight more years before he was officially my ex. Who could have seen that one coming?
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
$3?!
You win the thread.
I like that touch about the cost - as if he expected you to approve because he was being frugal.
“Yeah, think of the money I’ll be saving, and when I get home, I’ll spend more than $3 on you!”
Wow. I was so sure, for a moment, that he was just yanking your chain about having his laundry sent out.
When I was a kid, my mother told me that frontage roads were named for Pierre Frontage, an 18th century French explorer who carved out rough, short-lived roads along major waterways in Michigan. To this day, my mom said, temporary roads along major streets and highways are named in his honor.
Although I now know better, I still have to fight the urge to pronounce the word “frontage” as “fron-TAZH.”
Sorry to hijack the thread, though. This conversation’s not about weird stuff we used to believe. My mom’s claims never left me dumbfounded.
Well I am with the FOAF on this one, and don’t see why you should have found that minor misunderstanding at all shocking. Why were you mentioning the Dollar Store at all if you were going to be using a cell? And, apart from that, is it so unbelievable that someone hearing “phone” might think of a land-line phone before thinking of a cell. Even now, not everybody has cell phones you know (I don’t for one).
About a year after his deployment, I was looking at his medical records while we were transferring between bases… turned out he was treated for “NSU” while on that deployment. So, I stick that little acronym in the back of my mind and about six months later asked him “say… honey… what does NSU stand for?”
Him: “Why?”
Me: “Oh, Jane Smith said her husband had it”
Him (who doesn’t like Jane’s husband): “Oh… well, it stands for ‘non-specific urethritis’.. it means they shoved a big q-tip up his dick and gave him penicillin”
Me: “Oh really? How do you get NSU”
Him: “He was probably screwing around with <pick a word a guy would use>s”
And, honestly, he may have been lying about the $3… for all I know, it was really $20 and he said $3 thinking that if it was cheap, then I’d be happy to let him screw around.
This is cracking me up! Hilarious
A couple of years ago, I was training my replacement as a night auditor. Bobbie was a nice lady, not technically proficient, but I thought I could train her well enough to at least handle the (really, very simple) job. At this particular hotel, there was lots of down time, so plenty of time to chat, even during training shifts. About three nights into the training, Bobbie mentioned bringing her dog to work with her. At most jobs, that might have been frowned on, but I had brought my own a time or two in the past - a German shepherd or a great Pyrenees sure can make you feel more secure when you’re working overnight by yourself! So, I made noises about asking the owner, since I didn’t want to assume that a new employee would receive the same permissions. Bobbie’s next statement left me as speechless as I’ve ever been in a long-ish and garrulous life:
“Oh, I have him with me now. I bring his ashes everywhere I go, because I worry that someone will break in and steal him.”
Needless to say, Bobbie didn’t last long at that job… I just hope she got the help she very obviously needed.
(Seriously, about two weeks after I left, Bobbie told the owner that a- I hadn’t trained her at all, that we’d just worked on the computers and checking people in and stuff; and that b- she wasn’t aware that she was being hired to work the night audit… Poor lady.)
Two of them:
Not without reason do I live in a city separate from my family. The same reason that though we’d been together several years, my hubby and them had never met. When finally he did meet them, I think it may have been my Gran’s 100th, after saying our goodbyes we head to our car where we run into my older brother, who, after saying his goodbyes, throws out, “try to hang on to this one! Har, har!” We both just stood there dumbfounded? WTF? I didn’t even bother to point out that it was I who had ended each and every previous relationship I’d been in. I also refrained from mentioning this event during the many painful talks we shared following his divorce a couple of years later. I am not often at a loss for words but I stood there utterly speechless!
The second one involves a high school friend of hubby’s, all of whom seem to have names like Bubba, Orby or Huffy. This particular friend’s nickname was Stinky. Hubby had arranged for his friend to come by one morning , while he was at work, to pick something up. I had been told to expect him, and was aware that everyone called him Stinky, though we had never actually met. Also I worked nights at the time and so was sure to be sleeping. So of course I am awoken from a dead sleep and go to the door straight out of my bed, sleepy eyed, Jammie’s askew and hair like a mad woman. When I open the door he says to me, ‘you must be Elbows!’, and all I can do is stand there in silence unable to spit out the only sentence I can formulate in my sleepy head, ‘you must be Stinky’. I think he finally spoke up with, ‘I’ve come to get…’ It felt like my brain was stuck, I just couldn’t say the words!