From my days working at a local convience store:
A truly stunning woman came in one night while we were fairly busy. She really did look like a red carpet type, tight black dress, tons of clevage, etc… She bought 4 cans of cheap 24oz booze. I asked her if she wanted the (traditional) paper bags for 'em, and she said:
I’ll give the guy a little slack on that one.
Last year I was on Nantucket, and was trying to find an ATM. After about half an hour of walking around, I walked up to a guy and asked if he knew where I could find one. He gave me this sort of dumbfounded look and pointed at the sign above our heads. The sign that said ATM in giant letters.
(I added the bold.)
Those names–Bubba, Orby, Huffy–fit right in with your husband’s nickname of Hubby. When I first saw that you were calling him Hubby, I wondered where that nickname came from…now I know it was leftover from childhood! Thanks!
Years ago I came home from work to find that my stove wasn’t working. I told my roommate about it and we soon discovered that we also had no hot water. We came to the conclusion that our gas service must have been cut off. Not knowing if it was just us or if the whole neighborhood was out, I decided to check with our downstairs neighbor if her service was on.
I knocked on her door, and when she answered, I asked “Do you have gas?”
She just looked at me like this: :eek:
Actually this is singularly the only place I refer to him that way. I first saw it used here, read a thread about all the hate for the ‘Mr Elbows’ cuteness, found just an initial too police blotterish, and ’ significant other ', impossibly long if making reference to him more than once, so I settled on ‘Hubby’, as the least offensive.
( You know, for a moment, reading your post, I was afraid you recognized this group of people from the names I used! And knew whom I was referring to in real life! Whew!)
“Hubby” is short for husband.
Last February I commented to a cow-orker that I was glad to see the sun setting later. “Yeah,” she replied, “It must be that global warming.”
Here’s a better perspective for you: http://m3.i.pbase.com/g6/83/635583/2/73127473.TQxsdJeh.jpg
hth
My ex’s Father came to visit while I was on disability leave after Celtling’s birth. I was talking about the pull to go back to work vs the pull to stay with Celtling. He said “Well, I’ve always said there’s nothing wrong with a woman working, as long as she can also get her housework done.”
So I said, (in a very light, teasing tone) “Well, I make more money than your son does, and I work longer hours, so at what point does the housework become his responsibility?”
He shouted a curse word and jumped out of his chair, then literally hopped like a bird (ankles together, flipping off his toes) across the rather large room, ending up facing me over by the fireplace. Then he just quietly walked back to his chair and sat down as if nothing had happened.
:eek:
:eek:
Hahahaaa, TruCelt, what???
Winner!
I’m dumbfounded just by the story!
That’s terrific.
Reminds me of my trip to Ft. Worth many moons ago.
My sister had given me directions over the phone. I’m driving around and around and around in circles trying to find the road I need, named Kambooey. I’ve followed her directions exactly, she’d assured me that I wouldn’t have any trouble, I can’t figure out what the problem is.
I finally stopped at a convenience store and asked. The clerk had no trouble translating to the 5 lane boulevard in front of his store…Camp Bowie.
:smack:
I once hired a gal for a seasonal part-time position at a mall retail shop for what must have been her first real job.
My assisstant managers let me know immediately after she started that she was missing shifts and also showing up at odd times. I sat down with her and she was totally confused about why I was concerned since she was accurately filling in her time sheet when she was there.
It took me a bit to discover that she had absolutely no concept of working off a schedule. She thought that once I hired her she was free to come and go and work whenever it was convenient for her.
Once I explained the concept of coming in to work when and only when scheduled (yes you will get warnings for not showing up for scheduled shifts, no I will not pay you for working random hours of your choice) she no longer wanted the job.
“Did you just have brain surgery?” This was posed to my daughter at an outdoor winter festival, she happened to take off her hat and expose her hair style (half a mohawk basically). That question threw us all off guard, we had to laugh the lady seemed somewht serious too. only later did we think of any inappropropriate replies. Still don’t think I’d go there but honestly???
As a kid (I’m mexican) I was visiting in Germany and went to school for 2 or 3 days. The kids asked some weird questions like, for instance “When you want to know what time it is, do you read the sun’s position?” (I was wearing a wristwatch by the way)
My grandma took my to buy some groceries and proudly introduced me to everyone we mete. Two ladies said something like “Well… they’re humans too, aren’t they?”
We (my parents, my two brothers and my sister) were in some town, I think in Bavaria. My brothers and me were wearing some Lederhosen, my sister a typical german dress (Dirndl). Some american(?) tourist saw us and asked my parents if they would mind if they took some pictures of us as “Typical german children”.
I know, right? When I was writing it I thought, “the weirdest thing about this one will be that what he said was not what dumbfounded me.” But his misogyny was old hat by that time.
I must have heard the phrase “hopping mad” a thousand times from my Georgia cousins, but I have only ever seen it that once. It was surreal.
Sperm, eggs, and embryos are very carefully frozen in processes that, among other things, use liquid nitrogen. The final sample gets much, much colder than a normal freezer. If you just tossed them in a freezer, unprocessed, their cell walls would rupture, leaving them very dead.
It’s expensive and I guarantee that the pet shop wasn’t pulling lab-processed brine shrimp samples out of a liquid nitrogen container.
“Yes, honey, and there a guys right here that would do it for free.”
Gah! You have my sympathy.
We were driving half lost in Turkey (or, more knowing that we had a long route home and were looking for a short cut) when we saw the sign “Sehir Merkezi” and knew that we’d seen a sign pointing to there at our hotel. So, obviously, if we followed the signs there, we could then follow signs back out to the city.
We followed that idea for about 20 minutes through the tiny, semi-paved streets of a tiny town and then gave up and went back to the highway to drive the long route home - where we kept seeing signs for “Sehir Merkezi” and realized that it probably wasn’t referring to a city. After we got back to the hotel, Google translate confirmed it.
OK,I hereby vote that all people entering stories about language gaffes must translate for the rest of us. No fair sending 300 people off to Google Translate . . .
I was outside a Hardee’s once with my then-boyfriend. A little boy, maybe around eight, rode up on his bicycle. He barely slowed down, and on his way past, said to my boyfriend, “Hold my axe. I’m gonna go break stuff.”
And yes, he handed over his axe.
