That’s not a problem any more. The library burned down.
It gets worse- BOTH books were destroyed!
But wait, it gets STILL worse- they weren’t even completely colored in yet!
(Texas Longhorn fans tell that one about A & M, Oklahoma, Baylor…)
You don’t live on the Gulf coast, do you. Yeah, sure, it’s cooler - it’s in triple digits in Dallas and Houston is just hitting 100 deg F. But the air in Houston feels thicker - you open the door and step outside and you are instantly damp and sticky.
“Everywhere has a north.”
Growing up in the Milwaukee area, we would often launch this epithet at Gary or Cleveland. Two cities that have seen hard times. But, come on, we were living in Milwaukee.
I’ve never before heard of the first. But the last two scream out “Rochester, New York” to me.
(If anyone has any doubt of which city I live in, check out my latest Location reference.)
“[Location] isn’t the far end of the world, but you can see it from there.”
“At least the cost of living here isn’t as bad as [Los Angeles, CA], and the traffic is terrible there.”
"[Insert City] has the best [Insert Ethnic/Style] Food!"
And, “There are more [Insert ethnicity] here than in [Insert country of origin]”.
Or, “There is the largest concentration of [Insert ethnicity] here anywhere outside of [Insert country of origin]”.
Not absolutely everywhere, but I’ve heard hundreds of different areas claim they have the highest ranked schools in the country (with what they are “ranked” in being some ambiguous academic rating).
I never realized this was something said about almost every city, but I suppose you’re right. Where I’m at, this is what people blurt out for some reason or another (usually right-wing fear mongering over terrorism) about Arabs/Muslims and Dearborn, MI.
No idea if it’s even accurate anyway.
This one from my friend Jeff about my hometown of Roseburg, OR. (60 miles north of Grant Pass, OR)
“There ain’t nothin’ here to do but drink, fight and fuck.” I thought it was unique until I spent time in Jackson MS, Marysville, CA, Hastings, NB, and Orem, UT. It’s about the same. You have to connect with people or anyplace is the armpit of the world. I’ve met a lot of great folks in those “flyover” spots.
Matt
If a virgin ever graduates from (University), the statue will (finish drawing its sword / ride away / fly away).
Makes me think of a bit that was from… Doug Benson I think?
You know what they say, If you don’t like the weather here in Seattle, then shut the fuck up and get out.
Every opposing team’s venue, if I am to believe the collective pronouncements of any coach who has ever been interviewed in the history of sports journalism, is a “tough place to play.” You would think that a few places would be total cake, but no, they are all really tough.
“Loose-knit” – I love it!
The one (or the most) liberal town or city in the state – usually a college town – is the “People’s Republic of [NAME OF TOWN].”
Detroit - where the weak are killed and eaten.
I’m so bad, I vacation in Detroit.
Last one out of _____________, please turn off the lights.
“When [OUR COLLEGE] was left off Playboy’s list of top party schools, the head of [HARD-DRINKING FRATERNITY] wrote to the magazine and asked why. He was told that Playboy policy is that you don’t lump professionals in with a bunch of amateurs!”
Since no one appears to have mentioned it yet:
“(Name of town) is a great place to be from.”
For many years the primary employer in my Pennsylvania hometown was a large steel mill. For the entire time I was growing up, I would constantly hear about how the plant was a target for Russian ICBMs, and how the plant “makes the best steel in the USA”. What, it was, er, steelier than anywhere else?
Apparently no one cared how good the steel was, because around 1980 or so the parent company closed the plant, later went bankrupt, and has since pretty much disappeared.
I think you accidentally the whole thing.