Some teens built a bonfire on my road in the middle of last night. Had a right kegger from the looks of things this morning.
I never heard a thing. I smelled smoke late last night. That’s not alarming since I burn wood myself.
Down the road a minivan was hung up in a soppy ditch. I hear it’s been pulled out now.
It’s certainly true the Floridiots tend to be exhibitionists. One of the unofficial state mottos is “If ya’ got it, flaunt it. If ya don’t got it, flaunt it anyhow.” So even our stupidest crazies and psychos lurves them some publicity while they’re acting up.
But the real all-kidding-aside cause for Florida Man is our very open public records laws. Which means that every arrest, every parking ticket, and every e-mail to your state representative or city council can be downloaded by anyone for any reason or no reason.
With the result that all the shenanigans of ~23M Floridiots is free for any online voyeur to trawl through and publicize the best bits for clicks.
Saskatchewan’s ~1M notably calm and serious residents who’re entitled to privacy rights don’t stand a chance against the internet-enabled primal screaming of all 23M Floridiots.
Besides, it’s easier to burrow into the snow to stay under the radar than it is to burrow under the swamp. Down here the hole keeps filling in no matter how fast you dig.
Harrowing, no doubt. Drugs being sought after?
