Things that infuriate you well beyond their actual importance

[GESancMan]

@markn_1

Speaking of emails, I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I used to get irrationally irritated by this one guy I worked with who didn’t seem to understand the purpose of email subjects. In many of his emails, the subject was just a few words from the beginning of the first sentence in the email, and didn’t give a clue as to what the email was actually about.

One of the deans above the dean of my math department will sometimes post to one of the math lists, which means I get the email. Every single email I’ve ever seen by the guy - let’s call him Dr. Parker - has the subject line “Dr. Parker.” And then the body of his message looks like it was written by an eight-year-old. Totally unprofessional. I’ve met him a couple of times, and he is not stupid. If I hadn’t met him, I would think he is the world’s biggest dumbass.

Most of his emails are nonsense anyway, just like the drivel from all the other administrators. I’ve taken to deleting without reading the emails I get from him.

[needscoffee]

@markn_1

In many of his emails, the subject was just a few words from the beginning of the first sentence in the email, and didn’t give a clue as to what the email was actually about.

Thank goodness that in Outlook you can edit the subject line of received emails. I often do it to make it simpler to find things.

[Knowed_Out]

@commasense

It seems that documentary filmmakers are constitutionally unable to put a static image on the screen; there must always be some movement. So they show an image like this with a very slow and subtle zoom in or out, as they do with all other images of paintings, photos, etc.

That’s known as the Ken Burns Effect, apropos of nothing.

[madmonk28]

@Sooner

In my way thing of thinking, this is exactly the opposite of the purpose of government.

Absolutely, everything about it is grotesque.

[Gatopescado]

@jerseymule

The offending portion is near the beginning. A kid tells Grandma that he played baseball. Asked what position…

I can’t help myself from shouting out, “Doggy-Style!”

[kayaker]

I’m in the process of closing my business and retiring. I’m selling stuff cheap, just to get on with the process. Everything is advertised with a price FIRM.

Don’t bother trying to get a few more dollars off. Something I could get $800 for, but offering it for $150 is a bargain. Just gimme $150.

I just had someone message me that she was a single mother. I lost it and responded that unless the little bastard was mine, her situation was meaningless to me. Whoops.

[puzzlegal]

I think that’s the sort of response you aren’t supposed to say out loud, let alone in writing.

[Dung_Beetle]

Good for you!

[Beckdawrek]

I hate the “I’m more pitiful than you, so gimme, gimme” a break, a freebie, a discount, whatever folks.

You may very well be more needy. If you can’t afford it, don’t shop for it.

Get real help with your real necessaries, I’ll be glad to pitch in.

No, you don’t “Need” Starbucks.

[Fear_Itself]

Kelly Clarkson’s cover of tge same song is called “Run Run Rudolph”

Kelly Clarkson - Run Run Rudolph (Wrapped In Red - Fireplace Version)

[Dung_Beetle]

Infuriating: the Good Morning America trivia question segment. Supposedly they ask two questions and give the answers, but what actually happens is that the news anchors are all bantering and giggling and talking over each other, and you can’t hear shit. They frequently run out of time before getting to the second question.
This morning the first question was, “What is the famously curvy hill road in San Francisco?” The answer, Lombard Street. Cool, cool. After much hilarity, they get to the second question. “What chocolate-” “Ghirardelli!” someone screams. Well, that was fun.
I think they need to cut that segment, or at least don’t broadcast it. It may be jolly for the folks on stage, but it’s just irritating for everyone else, like sitting near a table of rambunctious kids in a restaurant.

[minor7flat5]

Here’s one that really does fit the “well beyond their actual importance” criteria.

When I watch a YouTube video and the person drinks a beverage while talking.
That’s it. I really have no business caring if they sip a beverage, but it makes my skin crawl.

I will often flip to another video the moment someone picks up a big bottle and takes a swig. Their mic typically picks up the audio of the event, and I know they will repeat it throughout the video. Just edit that bit out if your throat is dry and you need a sip!

The biggest offender is Network Chuck, who is always wired on caffeine and it is kind of his trademark to take loud sips of coffee between explaining various network things, The “SLURRRP!” sound is as bad as fingernails on a chalkboard for me, so I have to skip the sips.

[puzzlegal]

Yeah, that definitely fits the thread’s purpose. I can’t say it’s ever bothered me. I watch one guy who makes a joke about what weird mug he’s drinking from today, or what unusual beverage. I’ll remember not to recommend him to you.

[markn_1]

I had a very close friend in college who did that. It was one of the few things about him that I had a hard time dealing with. He’d slurp a drink right in the middle of a sentence. “I went down to the cafeteria this morning … (SLURP!) … and I saw they had bagels…” People drinking does not usually bother me, but the way he’d use slurps to punctuate his sentences really got on my nerves.

[PatrickLondon]

@markn_1

the way he’d use slurps to punctuate his sentences really got on my nerves.

My mother would have had a thing or two to say to him about that.

[Spoons]

The guy with a full grocery cart who had to go through the self-checkout at the supermarket today.

A full cart, with more vegetables and fruits than could possibly be needed, all of which required looking up or otherwise taking up time somehow. Then, bagging everything in his own bags. “Oh wait—the eggs are at the bottom of this bag, so I’d better empty it and reload it. Oh, gosh, I cannot put my tomatoes at the bottom of this one, under canned goods.” I was eighth in line when I joined it, and by the time I got to check out, this guy still had half a cart to go.

I just dealt. A happy smile to everybody, and a “Have a nice day” to the supermarket employee supervising the self-checkouts, and I was out of there.

But seriously. If you have a full cart of groceries, many of which are fruits and produce that require looking up, do not use the self-checkout two days before Christmas. There are cashiers in lanes that can take care of your grapes, your bananas, your tomatoes, your oranges, and your mushrooms (and at least six other kinds of produce) much faster than you can.

“A happy smile to everybody, and a ‘Have a nice day’ to the supermarket employee supervising the self-checkouts.” But I’m free to spout profanity in the privacy of my car on the way home.

[Strenger]

@teelabrown

People who park right in front of the Starbucks or Peets or whatever, early in the morning when it’s still dark, and sit there in their cars with the headlights on shining directly into the cafe.

Well, this, but in a different context.

I like to take breaks, eat lunch, and such in my car. Such as it is, those times are pretty often after dark. Or early in the morning. Whatever. Dark.

So I’m sitting in my car, reading, eating a tasty burger, listening to some tunes. In a quiet parking lot not twenty feet from the door.

No. Absolutely not, sh!thead, you did not just fail to turn your headlamps off!

Wait, sh!thead did! Don’t give me that crap about “Well, erm, uh, it’s like automatic lights and stuff.” It’s your goddamned car, dumbass. You figure it out.

Idiot. Turn your goddamned headlights off. OK, brights back on you. Get your goddamned headlights off when you’re idling in a parking lot. No need. Uncalled for.

Also, people who fail to drive without illuminating their headlights during inclement weather or at crepuscular hours.

I am fully on the side of a Buford T. Justice who might pull over such a miscreant and exact a little extrajudicial punishment with the aid of a big-ass MagLite.

Same with drivers with a black eye. Fix your goddamned rack, shithead. Can’t figure out how to change your broken-ass hooptie headlight? Find someone who can, and pay them. Unacceptable.

@kayaker

I just had someone message me that she was a single mother. I lost it and responded that unless the little bastard was mine, her situation was meaningless to me. Whoops.

What “whoops” there? You were right on and I’d have been proud to say that myself if I had your blunt wit.

Correct response on your part.

[Strenger]

Also, people who say “poop.”

That’s adorable. Adorably makes every non-AI want to puke in their mouths and suicide by insufflation of vomit.

I was saying that back when you were crapping in your hands and rubbing it in your face, you chickenshit motherfucker.

No adult should ever use “babycute” speech unless (perhaps) when speaking to children to whom one has not bothered to teach proper terms. Nor even proper slang terms.

Completely unacceptable.

[Mighty_Mouse]

@Strenger

No adult should ever use “babycute” speech unless (perhaps) when speaking to children to whom one has not bothered to teach proper terms. Nor even proper slang terms.

Is it okay to remind our dog when we are out in the freezing rain at 6 am that we “ventured out in this foul weather for you to poop and not sniff around endlessly” or do I need to say “defecate”?

[Strenger]

@Mighty_Mouse

Is it okay to remind our dog when we are out in the freezing rain at 6 am that we “ventured out in this foul weather for you to poop and not sniff around endlessly”

Not really.

Maybe the word “poop” has some sort of attraction for certain people. Perhaps those who are attracted to childlike behaviors or those who have fond memories of, say, a teacher or parent using that word in early childhood.

There would not be a reason to use such language in ordinary life, anymore than there would be for one to say “piddle” or “make water” and so forth.

Unacceptable.