I use “poop” and “pee” as the explicit, but emotionally neutral words for those functions. 
If I’m trying to be polite and avoid using explicit words for bathroom stuff, i use other words.
My grocery store has an item limit for the self checkout area. And an employee to wave you over to the cashiers if you obviously have more than that.
Ditto (for both the noun and the verb). I’m wondering what terminology @Strenger finds acceptable.
“Crap” and, especially, “shit” are so rude and potentially offensive that I’d heistate to use them around children or people of delicate sensibilities (or on TV). Plus they’re less likely to be taken literally: I’d say “Who left their poop on the floor” if I wanted to be clear I was referring to actual feces.
“Defecate,” “have a bowel movement,” and “feces” are too formal and clinical-sounding.
And “poo-poo,” “ca-ca,” and “doody” genuinely are childish and cutesy.
So “poop” seems to me the most neutral and, in certain situations, appropriate terminology.
You wouldn’t be pleased with how the Brits take it further with “poo.”
I was never a fan of their infantilized slang: “wooly-pulley” for sweater, etc. especially from a culture with a genius for inventive slang (“curtain-twitcher” for a nosey neighbor)
Here in britain, poop is definitely seen as more childish than poo
Huh, in my dialect, “poo” sounds far more childish. It’s what you’d say to a baby, not a word adults would use talking to each other.
Which is why “poo” has become more or less official in the UK
And I (an American) am with @puzzlegal in finding “poo” childish. But of course this is exactly the kind of thing that can vary depending on country, region, or dialect.
Some Americans are not exempt: imagine a fully grown man referring to his father as “Daddy.” Weird, except for Texans.
I’m watching a video wherein the person is talking directly to the camera, and by extension, me. Then, for no apparent reason, they switch to a camera giving a side view of the person talking. The person is no longer talking to me. The spell is broken. This person is dead to me.
See, that I find puzzling. “Shit” is certainly rude and potentially offensive. “Crap” is what you replace “shit” with when you’re trying to avoid being rude and potentially offensive.
It’s certainly true that “crap” is milder than “shit.” But all the online dictionaries I found still label it as “rude” or “vulgar” (sometimes qualified with “mildly” or “somewhat”).
I thought that was just me. It appears to have recently become the standard term in news articles and so on; and always makes me think that they think we’re all in second grade. Or maybe kindergarten.
Yes, I know they don’t want to say “shit” in the news article. What on earth is wrong with “feces”, “dung”, or “manure”; “coprolites” or “human waste” when one of those is relevant; or if you’ve absolutely got to even “BM”?
I think that’s a situation that definitely calls for “shit”.
So is “poop”, to my ears or eyes. And I don’t think I ever saw it in news stories until the last decade or so. (Though I expect somebody will promptly come up with a cite to contradict that.)
Ugh. You people!
That’s why one would have to say something like “Who left an actual pile of fucking crap, like as in shit, as in someone actually took a fucking dump, in the middle of the room?”
C’mon now.
How often does it come up in “polite society” that one needs to point out someone or some thing’s solid (?) waste?
Probably if one has children the topic is broached. One would hope a brief conversation would suffice, but who knows.
Or, if one is stepping in or remarking on someone else’s furbaby pet of a snarling hellhound who just dropped a deuce in one’s path. In that case…“pet dander” or just plain “dogshit” or “cat shit in my sandbox” seems fine.
That’s exactly right.
It’s been about ten years or so that “poop” has been normalized as something adults say when speaking to an adult audience.
It’s offensive, and it’s wrong.
Just say “stool” if one must. “Goddammit, that Scooby Doo left another stool sample on my porch and I’m not happy about its composition: what does that damned hippie fool feed the beast, anyway? Needs more fiber.”
I’m so unhappy I could just pee a little bit, or maybe a small tinkle! Oh! I might have to make bears in a moment…my word, laws, garsh.
You’d be surprised. 
LOL.
Dung is also acceptable. We judges have ruled that it’s allowed.
“Poop” is not.
Also, the term contaminates longer standing traditional phrases and names. Poop deck. Poop Deck Pappy.
And others…well…just that one, but it is robbing the language of its dynamic qualities.
My local Safeway started with an item limit a few months ago. I usually don’t like to be “that person,” but in this case, I am. I am fast and efficient at the self-checkout. It would take a lot longer to go wait in a cashier line, and I’m not gonna do it. They haven’t said anything to me yet.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about “stool”. Which has the advantage, unlike some of my other suggestions, of being one syllable.
You are so wrong, Dr Cox had to weigh in
We use “poop” for what the cats do, not what we do.
It’s okay for some uses at least.
But not by adults speaking to adults.
Agreed.
ANYWAY.
Another thing. In vehicular traffic. How exactly does one “forget” to use one’s turn signal?
Or “forget” to not tailgate?
Or “forget” to never ever pass on the right?