Those old novelty items in trading catalogs. Stuff like the hat that says “Whof arted.” I hate that hat. And then there’s this one toy I saw in a novelty store where it’s an old guy in a recliner, and when you push a button he rocks back and forth making flatuent sounds. Is there anyone in the entire world who would find this cute or entertaining? I hate stuff like that with a fiery passion.
Does it make it any better if I mention that I think a white streak in black hair looks really nice, at least on some people?
Are you kidding? I’m thinking about stocking up on those things. I love that monochromatic look. It’s like the guy at the colour dispenser got depressed or something.
White M&Ms. They looked like someone has already been sucking on them. shudder
Cut Flowers.
Let’s cut the sex organs off these plants, and put them in the middle of the table.
Great. Let’s all eat while staring at the dead reproductive parts of flora :rolleyes:
and this just in:
Soap - fashioned and trimmed and colored to look like gingerbread men. The only tip-off, once it’s out of the package, is that it is too thich to be gingerbread. Tell it to the toddler…
Britney Spears - Jacko has NOTHING on this bit of bizarreness - just give her time to get up to speed…
Screaming matches between neighbours. In the wee small hours. During the week.
Getting to referee said screaming matches, because said neighbours for some reason behold me as the fount of all knowledge / wisdom.
Being the fount of all knowledge / wisdom. How the h*ll did THAT happen?
Oh, and their little dog. Not necessarily ALL little dogs. Just theirs.
When, Oh when will I have normal neighbours?
Belittling little dogs. Do you make fun of squirrels for not being as big as beavers? Should all horses be the size of clydesdales? Do you always super size your value meal? What’s up with that?
Artificial blue foods. They’re always sugar drinks or lollipops or something along those lines and they’re disgusting. And they’re fake raspberry flavored. Double disgust.
Puddles of blood left behind on a plate after someone eats a rare piece of meat. I’m a vegetarian, but I don’t really care if someone wants to eat dead flesh. Just don’t leave behind dishware that looks like an autopsy has been performed on it, huh?
In addition to thong panties, those “boy-cut” panties that do not cover the top of your buttcrack. This, to me, is a primary function of underpants: full buttcrack coverage is a necessity.
The sound of stirring wet foods like potato/egg/tuna salads or overly loose muffin or quickbread batter.
Spunky the Wonder Bichon’s breath.
Wayne Brady won the Emmy last year for best talk show host and now, less than a year later, his show is cancelled.
Red velvet cake with anything other than cream-cheese frosting. You do not frost a red velvet cake with buttercream! It’s an abomination of dynamic proportions.
People flocking out to support Michael Jackson. Come on, people, grow a clue.
The Santa Monica Courthouse authority raising the cost of one day’s parking t the courthouse to $250 for the day of Michael Jackson’s arraignment to try to dissuade fans from overrunning the courthouse. Uh, hello, there are other legal proceedings happening in that damn courthouse, and other people with a legitimate reason to be there who need to have a place to park. Duh.
People complaining about white hairs on their heads. Uh huh. Just you all wait white hairs turn up elsewhere and then you can complain!
Actually, the shelf life of Twinkie is less than one month. File that tidbit away for future knowledge.
One other thing that just isn’t right: botched cut and paste jobs that screw up links. The Shelf Life of Twinkies. Urgh.
Yes it does. 
Luckily, its not much of a white streak, and only really becomes noticeable if I’ve got my hair down, and even then, with some careful combing, I can hide it.
Oh, and as a temporary cover up for the odd few white hairs - black mascara. That’s what my hairdresser reccomended anyway.
It was two or three sort of in front, in my bangs. I’d yank them out and they’d just grow back. They started increasing in numbers as I got older.
My father was prematurely gray, as were his parents. It’s all in the genes.
*
No freaking kidding. I buy underwear based solely on how well I think it’s going to stay out of there. I can’t even imagine walking around all day with a wedgie that can’t be fixed. :eek:
Women’s shoes with the elongated toe. Yeah, we all want our feet to look bigger, don’t we? Do you want to see us trip over our own fucking shoes? You do, don’t you. :dubious:
Low carb diets. There is no joy in a life without pasta. 'Nuff said.
Bleeding gums.
Rap music.
Winter. In Chicago. Y’all can just blow me. :o
Hummell figurines.
I burning your dog.
Toupees and comb overs. Grow bald gracefully ya twit.
I don’t think small dogs are bad, it’s those people who keep small dogs for show, carry them everywhere, and fuss over them like they were babies.
Having the logo vBulletin at the top of these boards, that’s just wrong ( unless they are paying Chicago Reader for that advertising space ). I know the software we are using is vBulletin, but the logo up there is wasting web-page real estate, the “Powered by vBulletin” message at the bottom of each page is more than sufficient.
I… I like that stuff too.
::hides in shame::
The Utah Jazz. Just change the name. Utah Mormons, Utah Polygamists, anything but the Jazz.
College Bowl games. There are way too many (close to 30 now), any team at .500 or better goes to one and they mean nothing. Just make a REAL college football championship already.
The Anna Nicole Show.Me too, Daikona. Especially blue raspberry iceyballs. Where’s the fun if it doesn’t turn your tongue blue?
Another thing:
Michael Jackson’s interview after he was accused for the first time in '93. Because nobody should ever have to hear Michael Jackson talking about his genitalia. EVER.
Even hearing him say “penis” is enough to cause me to shudder in disgust.