Friend of a friend tells of mistaking oil of wintergreen for contact lens solution.
Fishhooks. I’ve dealt with a handful of these in my career.
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If you REALLY want to see it, that is.
I have heard that um… Cock sauce also hurts like a MF.
YMCA swimming pool water, circa 1968. Had to wash 'em out with boric acid to make them feel better.
Hair spray. One morning, trying to get those truly epic 80s bangs and a squirt of Tame hairspray with a partially clogged nozzle went directly into my eye.
Penis.
He called to thank me for sending him some money. I saw a funny card that involved an inside joke between us. I sent the card and put some cash inside (he is congenitally unemployed).
Aw, that’s sweet. You’re a nice dad.
Why do they call it “no more tears” shampoo?
I keep rubbing it into my baby’s eyes every time he cries, and it just makes it worse!!!
It’s a shame that lemons and limes are so prone to squirting but also difficult to aim. No telling how many gin & tonics or margaritas have made me tear up.
Okay, why did that feel weird to write? Ah, because I mentioned “squirt” in a thread about cock sauce.
Planks even more so.
It’s the lack of same that makes me tear up.
Did you know that from experience, or did LeoBloom tell you?
My friend sez her husband “kinda likes it” when she “forgets” to wash her hands after chopping the chilis for salsa. Gives him a warm feeling all under. Also a new meaning to “cock sauce”.
On the subject of things that dont go in the eyes with contact lenses … My dearly departed mother was fond of repurposing bottles. Once she saved one of my old discarded contact lens solution bottles and put RUBBING ALCOHOL into it (for what purpose I have no idea). Then set it on the bathroom counter. The fact that she scribbled "alcohol on the bottle didnt really help since I was blind w/o the contacts. You dont need much imagination to see the scenario that ensued. Clawing my eye out with a screwdriver would have been less painful.
Your thumb. Accidently did it once, years ago. Had to go to the emergency room. The eye has since developed cataracts; not sure if there’s a connection, but it seems possible.
A single long hair.
Aaaaahhhh… Like a paper cut to the eyeball!
Acoustical tile. When a speck of it falls between your eye and eyeglasses and somehow gets lodged that running water can’t flush out, it causes you to be driven to the ophthalmologist while your vision is like looking through a window that’s had milk poured down it. And the ophthalmologist deadens your eyeball, says, “Yep! There it is!” and scoops out a little bit you hope wasn’t your twinkle. And you get to periodically put in eye drops to bathe that miniscule hole that instantly burns like a crater in hell. Kind of like taking a shot of tequila to the eye, but without the worm.
Last year I refinished our coffee table - polyurathane in the eyes is not good - but I have very shiny eyes now.
(It isn’t bad either - the doctor was "well, if it was this or the stripper, you are way better off with this).
Isocyanates. The vapor of these things is bad enough to make you cry and thoroughly ruin your day. Especially after you then spend 15 minutes in an eyewash.
While putting the contacts in is slightly worse, because then you have to force your screwed-shut-in-agony eye open to get the fucking thing out again, and this is no fun at all. Ditto on the hours-later-multiple-wash corollary, too. I can still feel the sting, eighteen years later. :smack: