Don’t put your kids bed too close to the walls, they might enter a different dimension.
Don’t by a player piano unless you want to hear the truth about yourself and maybe make a few enemies.
Never trust Mr. Death, unless you get the dumb one.
Pick Fidel Castro in the death pool.
Of course! I’m a mannequin.
Are we? huh. If not…
Don’t press the button.
Off topic, pretty much, but btw, The Box remake is really good! IMO.
If you’re going to bash in a small boys head, do it! Don’t think about it! And make sure there are no cornfields around.
Thanks, but I was referring to The Last Pallbearer.
Oh my yes. So’s Anne Francis (in The After Hours). She’s still alive too.
Don’t bother going back in time to try to change major events in the past. Something will just keep happening to screw it up (or you’ll succeed in such a way as to guarantee the present remains identical).
Don’t do anything, in fact. Unless you were meant to do it in which case you’d damned well better do it!
You are the monsters on Maple St. !
No matter how wonderful your new-found power is, if you break away from human decency, you’re going to suffer in proportion to your gift.
If you commit any heinous act, don’t return to the scene of your crime for any reason.
If a man in a dark suit appears from nowhere and starts speaking smugly to no one in particular, something really weird is going to happen.
I lived on two Maple streets. One in California, and the other in Oregon. I hope I’m not a monster :eek:.
As long as you haven’t wandered off to see if the power is on elsewhere you should be ok. 
Whew.
Don’t answer the telephone. Ever.
But the phone lines could be resting on the grave of your deceased fiance.
And if he submits something for your approval, you’d best take notice.
If the aliens have passed judgment on your planet but then give you one last-ditch chance to prove yourselves, don’t bother. Go home and enjoy one last day with the family instead.
Shakespeare was a jerk.
By the way, if you imagine Rod Serling’s voice reading all the posts in this thread, it’s gold.
If someone says they have the devil trapped in a closet, believe them.
Boxing is no way to make a living.
Death loves a good sales pitch.
If you crash land on a planet when taking off from Earth, you might want to check to see if you’re still on Earth first before taking action.
If you’re a Martian in disguise watch out for Venusians pulling the same dodge.