And for God’s sake, always remember what your mother told you. If you’re in the desert and you see a tortoise with a severed human head on its back, it’s a booby trap. Keep your distance and tell a responsible adult.
Don’t tell criminals where your money is buried. They will take it from you.
When 10-year-old kids start circling your ass on a bike, something is up. Get the fuck out of there. Your idiotic buddies are not going to arrive in time to rescue you, even if they were capable of rescuing you to begin with.
After a happy ending, always check for open barn doors.
Never leave incriminating evidence on top of the toilet tank.
Asking a police officer “are you a police officer” does not guarantee an honest response.
Fun detail: I was just randomly flipping through some old episodes to find things to post here, and I noticed that Marie first tried to push the warmed up lasagna on Flynn in episode 505, and he didn’t want any.
Anyway…
Just because you shoot Jesse James, it doesn’t make you Jesse James.
They’re not rocks, they’re minerals.
Vacuum cleaner repairmen will charge you more to keep you company for an hour than even a high-class call girl.
Your teenage son will not be excited by a PT Cruiser as a 16th birthday present, spend the extra dough to lease him a bright red Challenger SRT8. The lease rates are very attractive these days.
Chemistry is, well technically, chemistry is the study of matter. But I prefer to see it as the study of change.
