When the doc tells you that you only have 6 months to live, he may not be correct.
If you’ve ever shot a video of yourself singing “Major Tom”, destroy it now.
Check in the trunk.
If you’re about to be executed, saying “Wait” will buy you some time.
[Futurama announcer guy]
DON’T MAKE METH!
[/Futurama announcer guy]
As also seen on every single episode of “Chuck”.
You can tell a woman that you’re Kevin Costner, and she’ll buy it, because YOU believe it!
If you want to smuggle someone across the country, use an empty propane truck. No one would dream of looking for illegals or drugs in a big truck, meant for local deliveries and bearing (I presume) New Mexico plates, and they ride so smooth that a person can relax in back all the way from New Mexico to New Hampshire and they don’t even need a mattress.
Neo-Nazis have clubhouses.
You can be a straight-up criminal as long as you’ve got a brother-in-law or husband who’s a DEA agent.
Being a meth kingpin isn’t glamorous. No matter how many millions you have, you’ll still be running your empire from the back room of a chicken restaurant, some dirty warehouse or a shady Nazi compound. You’ll never be able to spend your money. The best thing you can hope for is having a reasonably nice house, and not being killed or locked up for at least a while yet.
The Mexican cartel is a possible exception.
If you can afford to go to a coffeehouse, you can afford to bring your own Stevia and use your own packets exclusively.
If you get lucrative payments from taking part in a major drug operation, you can’t afford not to.