Things women do to make themselves attractive to men that don't make them attractive to men

[Simple_Linctus]

@Lynn_Bodoni

I guess I DO have to drag it out again. Here it is, for those who missed it the first time around, and also for those who have fond memories of it: My patient's bizarre penis - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board .

That is very, very, special.

[Cartooniverse]

@rhubarbarin

I have long hair because I, personally, am REALLY into having long hair - I only wish I had the kind of hair I could easily grow down past my butt. I almost always wear it up in public, to protect it and to avoid attention. I love looking at other people’s long hair.

I grow out, file, and paint my nails because I, personally, really like having a nice manicure. I get a rather ridiculous amount of pleasure from sitting at home alone and admiring my freshly painted, shiny nails on the days that I do them. Other people don’t usually comment on them, and I usually use weird colors that some men take it upon themselves to tell me are ‘gross’. My ex hated long, painted nails - I did it anyway. Because I fucking felt like it. I love looking at what other women do with their nails. My best friend and I spend hours painting each others.

I wear stereotypically femme clothes (lots of skirts and dresses, girly shoes, many with a heel) because I am highly interested in fashion and I love the way they look. I wear skirts and dresses when I am at home alone cleaning up dog shit, since as well as being fun to look at, they are more comfortable than pants IMO. I could spend all day observing what other women wear (men too, if they are well-dressed, which almost none are).

Etc etc etc. It’s really all about me, I don’t care about what you think. I will allow some mild influence from the man I am having sex with, that’s about it. I don’t know why this is such a hard concept for some to grasp.

–wrings hands in frustration-- But what about your boobs ? Low cut work clothing? Not low cut? What do you like to see in the mirror on the way out the door to work?

This stuff matters !

[Taomist]

People like to look good. Some people don’t know or realize that what looks good on others doesn’t look good on THEM.
As to why people want to look good, sexual approval may be, or may have been, a part of it, but it’s only ALL of the reason, ALL of the time, for a small subset of people. So it’s not really a straightforward question, and isn’t going to have any ‘right’ answers.

And yeah, add me to the subset of women that finds overmusculature and obsession with working out something that must be for the guy’s ego, because it’s not attractive to me at all. So, either they’re doing it for the subset of people that DO love it, or it’s entirely for themselves because it makes them feel better. And that’s ok; just not attractive.

[dnooman]

@DiosaBellissima

The problem being that more than a handful of posters have come into this thread and declared that there is no such thing as a woman who does these things for herself, instead, we are all always trying to attract men in all we do.

I guess that no matter how specific you are about not trying to offend people in an OP, they will get offended anyways. This sounds familiar. Especially when the ignorati chime in.

[Zabali_Clawbane]

@DiosaBellissima

The problem being that more than a handful of posters have come into this thread and declared that there is no such thing as a woman who does these things for herself, instead, we are all always trying to attract men in all we do.

Ok, so let 'em strut around and believe it’s all really about them after all. Doesn’t change a thing about you as a person does it? So they think that, ok fine. Just laugh and go on about your day.

[Sleeps_With_Butterflies]

@dnooman

I guess that no matter how specific you are about not trying to offend people in an OP, they will get offended anyways. This sounds familiar. Especially when the ignorati chime in.

The OP opens up the debate on whether things are or are not done to attract men so when some women answer that some things truly are done for themselves it isn’t about being offended at all, it’s answering questions posed by the OP.

Also, even if the OP didn’t specifically ask if things are or are not done for men, since when is it wrong to expand on the ideas laid about by the OP by answering other responses in the thread? Nobody is limited to just the precise examples in an OP, especially not in this forum. Threads grow and change directions often, this is nothing new.

So although it’s super fun to make up words like ignorati, in this particular case it simply isn’t so.

[UltraVires]

@si_blakely

Breast enhancement.

Si

This. In a relationship, a man couldn’t care less about the size of your breasts. If you are looking to meet one, do you want to find the guys who are looking for huge knockers?

[Mister_Rik]

@Broomstick

Women getting huge titties when the men around them either don’t care for them or think she’s big enough is like men who want giant dicks assuming women want to boink baseball-bat sized sexual organs when really most men’s equipment is plenty adequate as-is (they’d be better advised to work on their technique rather than trading in for new equipment).

Back in the days when I used to do chat rooms, I always breathed a sigh of regret when the first thing a woman told me about her appearance (this was before sharing photos was the simple matter it is today) was “I have big boobs!” That automatic assumption that all men are turned on by big tits.

[Lynn_Bodoni]

@Mister_Rik

Back in the days when I used to do chat rooms, I always breathed a sigh of regret when the first thing a woman told me about her appearance (this was before sharing photos was the simple matter it is today) was “I have big boobs!” That automatic assumption that all men are turned on by big tits.

I would have assumed that “she” actually had a block and tackle, but was looking for attention.

[enipla]

@Lightnin

Those ridiculously long fingernails. I don’t want those near me… and how do you get anything done?

I haven’t seen it in a while, but there was trend which involved shaving off the eyebrows and penciling them back in… but higher, and more arched. This resulted in a permanent appearance of surprise. *Not *attractive.

All of this. I saw a woman that had eyebrows tatooed in. You know how tat’s get gray after a while? :shudder:

Long finger nails absolutely disgust me.

[DiosaBellissima]

@enipla

All of this. I saw a woman that had eyebrows tatooed in. You know how tat’s get gray after a while? :shudder:

Legitimate question: let’s say someone has some disorder that leads them to have no eyebrows. What’s worse, no eyebrows or drawn on eyebrows?

[Gyrate]

@DiosaBellissima

Legitimate question: let’s say someone has some disorder that leads them to have no eyebrows. What’s worse, no eyebrows or drawn on eyebrows?

Badly drawn-on eyebrows. If your fake eyebrows signficantly deviate from where nature put the originals, you probably look very wrong.

Sort of like this.

[amanset]

@Anaamika

I don’t understand this thread. I never understand this kind of stuff.

I painted my nails the other day. Toes and fingers. I know it looks nice on me; I have long slender fingers and attractive feet. Plus I love the act of painting my nails; it brings me back to a happier time. I don’t paint them because I think “Men are going to look at me!” I paint them because I look at them and I am pleased. Hell, that’s why I got a tattoo!

I put my hair up when I go to a fancy event because I leave my hair down every time or at the most put it in little clips. When I go to a fancy event, I have a reason to spend a little money/time and do something different. Guys seem to have a set uniform - tux, comb hair and clean up, etc. Maybe women just like more variety but if you’re telling me that no guy ever in the history of time wished for some more variety in their appearance I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

I also wear my hair up because as polar bear says, my long and slim neck is more apparent and it makes me look more vulnerable. I like the look, so I do it.

And that’s really all there is to do it. I like the look, so I do it. That doesn’t mean I don’t dress with some idea in my head of what people like. I don’t wear my underpants on my head, for example, and I’m careful not to wear clothes that will give me muffin tops or unattractive bulges. However, in general, I dress the way I like. If I wear high heels, it’s because I like them. Granted, I never wear more than 2" heels.

I love my SO and if he really likes something, I try to do it for him. But that doesn’t mean I won’t wear something he doesn’t like if I love it. Then again, he’s got far better taste than me anyway.

I get that. So I am reading this thread and pretending that the OP said “what do women do to make themselves look good which you think looks absolutely horrible”. That way who they are dressing for is immaterial.

Things that are always a turn off for me:
tattoos
long fingernails (both real and false)
painted nails
overly plucked and/or sculpted eyebrows
false anything (lips, breasts, eyelashes …)
hooker-style clothing (leopard prints, shocking pink micro skirts…)
any piercings that are not in the ears

Things that are OK in some situations:
Heels (and definitely not too high - my GF spends most of her time in flats and looks amazing for it)
jewellery (really not too much of it please and gold just looks icky)

[ralph124c]

I used to know a gal who liked to dress like Cyndi Lauper.
I wasn’t sure if she really liked the look, or was trying to get admission to a local mental hospital.
Anybody like Cyndi’s style?

[CalMeacham]

I hope it doesn’t come to this. These high heels REALLY make your butt stick out, but it looks painful to even watch:

The Scariest Shoes of All Time

Obviously a case of How Far Can We Go Overboard. This wioman doesn’t look sexy – the shoes make her look deformed.

[DiosaBellissima]

@CalMeacham

I hope it doesn’t come to this. These high heels REALLY make your butt stick out, but it looks painful to even watch:
Yahoo Health: Advice and Reviews on Nutrition, Fitness, Sleep, Aging, Well Being and More

Obviously a case of How Far Can We Go Overboard. This wioman doesn’t look sexy – the shoes make her look deformed.

You understand that a lot of fashion is purely for art’s sake and not intended for regular every day wear? Sort of like the McQueen “Armadillo” shoes, which were basically worn on the runway and by Lady Gaga in a music video. That was years ago now and I don’t see women clamoring to shove their foot in something like that.

[dnooman]

I’d kinda like to hear what Diosa thinks about this in general.

In the spirit of the OP, we do have to acknowledge that there are some things women do for the explicit purpose of attracting men, that fail. That was my impression of the OP at least.

The stage is yours Diosa.

Apologies to the OP if this was not wanted.

[Ambivalid]

@ralph124c

I used to know a gal who liked to dress like Cyndi Lauper.

Was it back in the 80’s?

[DiosaBellissima]

@dnooman

I’d kinda like to hear what Diosa thinks about this in general.

In the spirit of the OP, we do have to acknowledge that there are some things women do for the explicit purpose of attracting men, that fail. That was my impression of the OP at least.

The stage is yours Diosa.

Apologies to the OP if this was not wanted.

I’m so sorry, friend! I wasn’t aware I was only allowed to post once per thread and not have an opinion. Please, condescend me some more, you sweet, sweet man you.

[Anaamika]

@DiosaBellissima

You understand that a lot of fashion is purely for art’s sake and not intended for regular every day wear? Sort of like the McQueen “Armadillo” shoes, which were basically worn on the runway and by Lady Gaga in a music video. That was years ago now and I don’t see women clamoring to shove their foot in something like that.

Yes, fashion is art. No one expects you to appreciate it, just like any art.

The best explanation I’ve ever heard for fashion is like this.

Some designer comes out with some crazy as fuck heels. A woman wears them down the runway. Other designers look at them.

They scale them down, keeping the general feel of the shoe, but making a more practical shoe that can be worn. That is what shows up in Sax Fifth Avenue.

Some other designer scales it down some more. Now it shows up in your department store.

yet another designer takes just the bare lines of it, and maybe the colors. Now it’s in Walmart or Target or Kmart.

Etc.