I thought everyone’s apartment and house were all designed exactly the same, with an entry door either on the left or right, a couch facing an invisible wall, a staircase or doorway to another room directly behind said couch, a walkway directly behind said couch, a kitchen off to the side with a table facing an invisible wall…
Most kitchens have a swinging door. I’ve never seen one in my life like that, except in restaurants.
Same with “Stop Drop and Roll.”
You can sit around eating, drinking and not exercising and still not get fat and/or drunk
On the rare times that you make a new friend, they will immediately fit into your little band of old friends (Big Bang, anyone?)
Never once did my mother clean the house in heels and pearls like June Cleaver.
And “meeting cute” stories really don’t feel that way when they’re going on. They just are regular, old life and messy.
Four meddling teenagers and a big dog would’ve solved that mystery in less than a half-hour!
Similarly, I always thought that women went from 0 to “I need to get to the hospital right now!” I remember hearing about my sister in law having contractions and thinking “Why isn’t she in a hospital?”
Watch YouTube. There’s plenty of idiots who get lit on fire and think the best solution is to run around screaming.
I don’t know if I flat-out “stalked” anyone–I sure hope not. But my early romantic life was a lot less successful than it might have been because I got far too many of my ideas about romantic behavior from movies and TV shows. :smack:
There is a universal law that mandates every grocery bag ever used will contain stalks of celery and a French baguette.
Foreigners (up to and including space aliens) actually prefer to speak English when they’re alone.
Nothing bad can happen to me if there is no dramatic music in the background.
I thought when I grew up I would have to buy etchings, because that’s how you got women to come back to your swinging bachelor pad.
LOL! Same here. When we had our first child, my wife went into labor at something like 2 or 3 AM. I was damn-near in a blind panic getting her to the hospital (which is about 3 miles away).
The baby arrived at 5:45 that evening.
This made me laugh hard. Well done. 
…and grocery stores only give out paper bags. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plastic grocery bag on TV and I’ve never had my groceries packed in a paper bag in real life.
I still think that happens. 
I pictured work as a lot less transient. I thought it would be like Mary Tyler Moore, where there’s The Boss and the same people sitting at the same desks doing the same jobs for years at a time, except maybe once a year somebody would leave and a New Person would come in and it would be a Big Deal.
It took me about a week to realize that work groups were about as stable as the population of a departure gate at the airport.
That someday girls would ask you out to a Sadie Hawkins dance. Did those things ever exist in real life?
And all babies are born in stuck elevators or cars stuck in traffic.
When my wife was in labor the only elevator involved was on the way to the birthing room. She was accompanied by a nurse while I finished the paperwork, so if it got stuck it was the nurse’s problem.
And it had to have been stuck for a very long time to be an issue.
And every office also has a bar in it (or at least a bottle in the bottom drawer, that the boss would pull out along with two glasses and expect you to partake because he’s having a personal problem but doesn’t want to really talk about, I’m talking about you Mr. Grant!)
My High School had one every year. 1970s Maryland.
There’s a thread about that on here somewhere and, IIRC, there were quite a few people who said they had one. I’m too lazy to look for it though.